Breathing
Ark's got pneumonia after having bronchiolitis or maybe it was pneumonia all along...all started on Tuesday when we got hitched @ City Hall...have been worried sick and crying and I'm tired and he's so little and doctor wants to hospitalize him but I've been able to treat at home for now with constant nebulizer inhalations, medications, and what not...have been to the doctor 4x in the past less than a week and today Alexey got sick and Eugene is the most useless parent in the universe (long story) and now both my kids are sick and at least mom's home tomorrow so she can be with my oldest and at least Alex is still at home and his parents help a bit too...they're leaving Thursday...I haven't had postpartum depression, we've been able to prevent it/up the meds with my therapist but boy have I been unable to cope sometimes...Alex is amazing, I can't even explain it, he literally keeps me going hour to hour...but I need alone time so I'm pooping with the laptop in the bathroom right now as nowhere can I be just for myself and with myself...and not for long anyway as it's time for at least some semblance of a shower, then maybe an hour of sleep/hour of anxiety before Ark's next feeding/medication time (always stressful)...then maybe a couple more hours before it all starts all over again tomorrow and yes, it's time for another doctor's appointment for both of 'em...eventually, Alexey has to get back to daycare...I'm scared for Ark