(no subject)
Who? Maisie MacIntyre
What? Trying someplace new.
When? Now in grownhp6words
Where? Inis Oirr Ireland
Why? Because she hasn't fallen off the face of the earth yet.
The girl who disembarks the ferry on Inis Oirr only vaguely resembles Maisie MacIntyre. Dark blonde hair whips around her face from the high winds. Her boots give the illusion of her being taller than she is. Her thick sweater adds bulk under her jacket but even with its mass no one, having seen her face, would think she was anything but far too thin. Because of the nearness to the moon she also moves slowly, painfully like an old woman.
She'd rented the small cottage from an internet cafe in Dublin. When she goes to the office to pick up the keys the owner is cheerful and friendly and 'chats' all the way down the path after insisting on carrying her one bag while she limps besides him. He has brilliant red hair and a round, open smiling face that reminds Maisie very much of Arthur Weasley. When the subject of what brings her to such a small island comes up she tells him a combination of truth and lies.
Once, when she was four or five her parents had brought her to the island. They'd spent an entire day swimming, fishing, picking wildflowers. As for what brought her back...there was a story about an accident and needing a peaceful, quiet place to recover.
And the tiny cottage at the edge of the cliff was just that. Quiet. It was a living room/kitchen/dining room all in one, a bedroom and a bathroom. The entire cottage was roughly the size of her dorm room. He told her the pantry was well stocked but for fresh food she'd need to go into the village. Maisie smiles and nods in all the right places and when he leaves she uses wandless magic to seal the house completely and lights a fire in the fireplace.
The location was random--a stray thought that came to her on her way to her dad's house. But between the school and the house she'd lost her nerve. She couldn't bring herself to do it. She felt tainted and sick by what she'd done. What she was becoming and she couldn't bring herself to taint anything else especially not something of her father's.
Sick and tainted. It had been ten years since she'd allowed herself to feel like a true 'Dark Creature' and now it was on repeat in her mind.
Undoing her cloak, Maisie's surprised to see some of her own blood on the inside. Her injuries from the last full moon were slow to heal and she must have re-opened the wounds across her back. It's tricky to get them all bandaged, but finally it's done and she can move on.
After unpacking several small vials and packages of potions ingredients, Maisie lays them all out on the kitchen countertop. Everything needed for Wolfsbane. She'd bought the ingredients piece by piece from a dozen different apothacaries, but only after receiving her mother's owl. She hadn't planned on needing the potion one way or the other for the coming moon. She'd thought she'd be imprisoned -- or the whole thing would be moot but she found that she couldn't face either option.
The process of putting together the ingredients and brewing the potion is done on automatic pilot. She's watched her mother make it so many times. Carefully, exactingly, every measurement precise. It's much easier to know what to do when the answers are written out--when there's a clear right or wrong. Now there isn't and Maisie knows she's sinking.
Once the potion is finished, she hestitates to drink it. Even under normal circumstances Wolfsbane tastes horrible and makes her want to gag. It's worse now. She can't remember exactly the last meal she's eaten without throwing up. Mostly she'd been subsisting on highly sweetened tea and a couple of crackers. But even those tasted like blood and ash in her mouth. But the Wolfsbane had to be taken. There was just no question. Taking two deep breaths Maisie tilts back her head and downs the potion in a few large gulps. The cup slips from her fingers as her stomach ties itself into knots and it takes what little strength she's got left to keep the Wolfsbane down.
She doesn't bother cleaning the kitchen beyond putting the ingredients back in their little vials. The owls from her Dad, Mum, Teddy and Capella are in the breast pocket of her cloak. Her fingers touch each piece of parchment, carefully smoothing them out and tracing her name written on them like a talisman. They were the last letters she'd receive from them. If she wanted to stay hidden then the next step was to start Confunding any owls that arrived for her. Even worse than the potion the thought of cutting herself off so completely makes Maisie sick.
Taking a deep breath Maisie starts to pen a response to her brother.
Teddy,
I miss you too. I miss you all so much I don't think there are any words to tell you.
Please know, I would never never leave any of you unless I felt like I had no choice. I had to leave because I do love you. Because I could be a threat to you. Because I could hurt you. Because I can't trust myself with the people I love more than my own life.
Oh Teddy! Another baby! You and Victorie are such wonderful parents I know this baby is going to be every bit as loved and perfect as Sophie. I always knew you'd be a great Dad ever since I was little--I always knew I was safe whenever you were around and I knew you always had the answers whenever I was confused and if I was lost I knew it'd be my big brother that found me.
But this is--Godric this is different. Even if I could come home it wouldn't be right. I...Teddy what I've done...it's not something I can forgive myself for. It's not something I know how to live with. And it's not something I ever want to bring to our family. I can't be trusted anymore and I won't be responsible for hurting anyone else.
I don't know what's next for me. Right now I can't think beyond this second and trying to make it to the next. Please don't come after me, and try and stop anyone else from it. It's not safe. Especially not now so close to the full moon.
I know I don't have any right but I'm begging you Teddy. Stay safe. Do whatever you have to to make sure Sophie and your new baby have their father to have all the answers and make them feel safe. They deserve that.
I'm not going to be answering any more owls. I'll Confund them if I have to to keep from being found.
I Love You Too,
Maisie
Her next letter is to her mother.
Dear Mum,
I've made the Wolfsbane. Please, please try not to worry.
I won't be writing back again. I know if I want to keep everyone from finding me I'm going to need to start Confunding the owls.
I wouldn't do this unless I thought it was the right thing. I love you too much to risk a repeat of what happened last month. I don't think I could survive it.
I love you and I miss you,
Maisie
After the last letter is sent, Maisie goes into the bedroom and she pulls the comforter off of the bed and curls up on the floor in front of the fireplace. The flames dance and shimmer through tears she's too tired to shed.
What? Trying someplace new.
When? Now in grownhp6words
Where? Inis Oirr Ireland
Why? Because she hasn't fallen off the face of the earth yet.
The girl who disembarks the ferry on Inis Oirr only vaguely resembles Maisie MacIntyre. Dark blonde hair whips around her face from the high winds. Her boots give the illusion of her being taller than she is. Her thick sweater adds bulk under her jacket but even with its mass no one, having seen her face, would think she was anything but far too thin. Because of the nearness to the moon she also moves slowly, painfully like an old woman.
She'd rented the small cottage from an internet cafe in Dublin. When she goes to the office to pick up the keys the owner is cheerful and friendly and 'chats' all the way down the path after insisting on carrying her one bag while she limps besides him. He has brilliant red hair and a round, open smiling face that reminds Maisie very much of Arthur Weasley. When the subject of what brings her to such a small island comes up she tells him a combination of truth and lies.
Once, when she was four or five her parents had brought her to the island. They'd spent an entire day swimming, fishing, picking wildflowers. As for what brought her back...there was a story about an accident and needing a peaceful, quiet place to recover.
And the tiny cottage at the edge of the cliff was just that. Quiet. It was a living room/kitchen/dining room all in one, a bedroom and a bathroom. The entire cottage was roughly the size of her dorm room. He told her the pantry was well stocked but for fresh food she'd need to go into the village. Maisie smiles and nods in all the right places and when he leaves she uses wandless magic to seal the house completely and lights a fire in the fireplace.
The location was random--a stray thought that came to her on her way to her dad's house. But between the school and the house she'd lost her nerve. She couldn't bring herself to do it. She felt tainted and sick by what she'd done. What she was becoming and she couldn't bring herself to taint anything else especially not something of her father's.
Sick and tainted. It had been ten years since she'd allowed herself to feel like a true 'Dark Creature' and now it was on repeat in her mind.
Undoing her cloak, Maisie's surprised to see some of her own blood on the inside. Her injuries from the last full moon were slow to heal and she must have re-opened the wounds across her back. It's tricky to get them all bandaged, but finally it's done and she can move on.
After unpacking several small vials and packages of potions ingredients, Maisie lays them all out on the kitchen countertop. Everything needed for Wolfsbane. She'd bought the ingredients piece by piece from a dozen different apothacaries, but only after receiving her mother's owl. She hadn't planned on needing the potion one way or the other for the coming moon. She'd thought she'd be imprisoned -- or the whole thing would be moot but she found that she couldn't face either option.
The process of putting together the ingredients and brewing the potion is done on automatic pilot. She's watched her mother make it so many times. Carefully, exactingly, every measurement precise. It's much easier to know what to do when the answers are written out--when there's a clear right or wrong. Now there isn't and Maisie knows she's sinking.
Once the potion is finished, she hestitates to drink it. Even under normal circumstances Wolfsbane tastes horrible and makes her want to gag. It's worse now. She can't remember exactly the last meal she's eaten without throwing up. Mostly she'd been subsisting on highly sweetened tea and a couple of crackers. But even those tasted like blood and ash in her mouth. But the Wolfsbane had to be taken. There was just no question. Taking two deep breaths Maisie tilts back her head and downs the potion in a few large gulps. The cup slips from her fingers as her stomach ties itself into knots and it takes what little strength she's got left to keep the Wolfsbane down.
She doesn't bother cleaning the kitchen beyond putting the ingredients back in their little vials. The owls from her Dad, Mum, Teddy and Capella are in the breast pocket of her cloak. Her fingers touch each piece of parchment, carefully smoothing them out and tracing her name written on them like a talisman. They were the last letters she'd receive from them. If she wanted to stay hidden then the next step was to start Confunding any owls that arrived for her. Even worse than the potion the thought of cutting herself off so completely makes Maisie sick.
Taking a deep breath Maisie starts to pen a response to her brother.
Teddy,
I miss you too. I miss you all so much I don't think there are any words to tell you.
Please know, I would never never leave any of you unless I felt like I had no choice. I had to leave because I do love you. Because I could be a threat to you. Because I could hurt you. Because I can't trust myself with the people I love more than my own life.
Oh Teddy! Another baby! You and Victorie are such wonderful parents I know this baby is going to be every bit as loved and perfect as Sophie. I always knew you'd be a great Dad ever since I was little--I always knew I was safe whenever you were around and I knew you always had the answers whenever I was confused and if I was lost I knew it'd be my big brother that found me.
But this is--Godric this is different. Even if I could come home it wouldn't be right. I...Teddy what I've done...it's not something I can forgive myself for. It's not something I know how to live with. And it's not something I ever want to bring to our family. I can't be trusted anymore and I won't be responsible for hurting anyone else.
I don't know what's next for me. Right now I can't think beyond this second and trying to make it to the next. Please don't come after me, and try and stop anyone else from it. It's not safe. Especially not now so close to the full moon.
I know I don't have any right but I'm begging you Teddy. Stay safe. Do whatever you have to to make sure Sophie and your new baby have their father to have all the answers and make them feel safe. They deserve that.
I'm not going to be answering any more owls. I'll Confund them if I have to to keep from being found.
I Love You Too,
Maisie
Her next letter is to her mother.
Dear Mum,
I've made the Wolfsbane. Please, please try not to worry.
I won't be writing back again. I know if I want to keep everyone from finding me I'm going to need to start Confunding the owls.
I wouldn't do this unless I thought it was the right thing. I love you too much to risk a repeat of what happened last month. I don't think I could survive it.
I love you and I miss you,
Maisie
After the last letter is sent, Maisie goes into the bedroom and she pulls the comforter off of the bed and curls up on the floor in front of the fireplace. The flames dance and shimmer through tears she's too tired to shed.