(no subject)

[howdidyoudie]

so this old guy came into the office today to pay his gas bill. he seemed cheerful, was making jokes and all. guy seemed to be pretty well off. nice clothes. nice thick roll of mula in his back pocket. a little on the heavy side. kinda looked like buddha, even had huge ears and everything. didn't seem like he was in great pain due to his age or weight or anything. but after i take his payment he lets out a long sigh and murmurs under his breath that he wants to die. that he's tired of life. i smiled at him. he asked me if i believed him. i told him i did. that i understood. and then he looks at me seriously and says, "this life. its nothing. means nothing." and walks out looking just as cheerful as when he came in.

i'm pretty tired. don't think i'm quite there yet though. i still have plenty to do and see.
starting with portland.

but fuck am i tired.
i want but can't afford a vacation right now.
the new move to el monte will be costly now. but will save money in the long run.
its just stressful.
i think i've proved to be rather independant and all.
but i never turn down help. pride doesn't stand in the way of anything for me.
and i could use some help.