Show Me the Glint of Light on Broken Glass [OTA]

[thediamondqueen]

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Throne Room

[thediamondqueen]

[diemwnt]

It's too much, too fast.

His own face is still a ghastly mess of bruises around the left eye. His attention is still scattered and his concentration shot. Everything is still far too bright and loud. Maybe that's why this seems surreal.

There are a million directions to go in. He needs to converse with the other Tens, to check in with his new Jack, to ask Silas what help he needs. To make sure Leigh and Sophie and Avery are all still in one piece. To process that the institution is shifting, that he's going to be bowing deeply to a Queen who isn't Rachel.

He'll pick one and move. As soon as the nausea passes.

[karatofquality]

Silas had known weeks ago that Rachel was leaving, but not like this. He'd never anticipated this. But there isn't time to think about the knot in his stomach or the lump in his throat. This is not the moment for him to lose himself to his own grief. He'd nearly come to terms with the loss of his Queen, but now he is faced with truly losing her. No, his Diamonds need him right now.

And he can spot the one who needs him most from where he stands beside his throne. A throne which means more right now than it ever has. Down the three stairs and across the throne room, Silas squeezed Cadogan's shoulder from behind. "Tell me what you need," he said quietly, but firmly.

[diemwnt]

And isn't that the way of being a Diamond--set one's own aside and look placidly toward others.

Turning a little too quickly toward his King has his head spinning again, fingers grasping helplessly for a moment at Silas' arm. Once he's stable, he blinks hard, gets Silas' face back into focus and takes back his hand.

/To work. You should be resting./

[karatofquality]

He shook his head, his other hand going to Cadogan's waist for extra support. "I don't need to sleep, I need to take care of my people. You, however, need to find your way to bed. Come on. At least sit own and let me get you some tea." And the way he said tea implies that it will have something stronger in it for him. Silas understands his shock. This is the best way he knows how to help his best friend.

[diemwnt]

Stabilizing hands help. Having an old friend here, looking out for him, telling him without words that they'll all get through this, helps. It makes it okay for him to briefly squeeze his eyes shut, breathe carefully through his nose and nod without throwing himself completely out of whack.

/Just for a minute. Please, Silas./

He'll be slow. He won't be his usual sharp, alert self. But he needs to work. To meet with Avery and the other Tens. To fill his mind with something other than this odd quiet grief. A minute of sitting, and then back into the fray.

[karatofquality]

Slowly, he leads his friend to a chair, absently petting his hair. "You can't overwork yourself right now. I'll call the Tens to meet, and I'll speak with Atalanta and Säde, but I want your word that you will put your own needs first for today." He's not letting up, here. "Promise me, Cadogan. I will not lose you, too." He's lost too much these last few months. He can't risk Cadogan, too.

[diemwnt]

Sitting is a heavy thing. His face crumpling in on itself for an actual exhausted frown is heavy too. Stings, actually, around the left side of his face, sending an uncomfortable jerk through his shoulders.

/I'm sitting, aren't I?/

[karatofquality]

Using his body, he shields Cadogan from the rest of the room. No one needs to see his Ten like this. Lifting his hand, he rests it so gently on the uninjured side of Cadogan's face. "I'm asking as your friend that you take care of yourself, Cadogan," he said softly. "You are my best friend. You have been for a very long time. I'm begging you to be responsible so that we can handle this appropriately."

[diemwnt]

He wants to be able to push up the bland, reassuring Diamond smile that they're all so used to. At the moment, he can't. Not even for Silas.

/I'm being responsible, sire, you know I am./ The title is easier to slur out than the other man's name, but comes no less affectionately. /But please let me help. With this of all things./

If he and Sophie had been able to stop the Magician...

But it's too late now. There's only working through the pain that exists now.

[karatofquality]

He shakes his head. "I can't, Cadogan. Not right now. There's nothing to be done, my friend. Please, just rest. When there's something that you can do, I swear to let you do it, but right now, I need to know that I'm not losing anyone else." It was choked. There were tears in his eyes. He was going to lose it if Cadogan kept pushing for this.

[diemwnt]

Going to just rest for the remainder of the day is not an option. He can't spend today of all days being useless, even if resting to come back to full strength is not without utility.

But he can't do this to Silas, either. He'll find a balance. He'll sit here now, he'll go rest later, he'll do the minimum work to not feel like he's entirely worthless; he'll do what he can to stay out of the fog his world has been since the second blow to his skull.

For now, he'll simply nod carefully. Lean carefully to rest the right side of his face against Silas' middle. Not quite a hug, but absolutely a promise to be here. Be alive.

[karatofquality]

He closed his eyes tightly when Cadogan rested against him, fingers winding into his friend's hair. It wasn't tight, but it was his way of anchoring himself, of holding on when he wanted so desperately to break.

Almost inaudibly, he whispered, "Thank you." Because that's all that needed to be said, really. Tears leaked out of his eyes and slid down his cheeks, but all that needed to be said, the only words that needed to be exchanged with this friend, had been spoken.

[diemwnt]

The shake of his head, caught and safe against the King's chest, is slight but genuine. There's nothing to be thanking anyone for here. They both need this. They'll both be able to be the best they can be because of this.

And if the rest of the Suit sees a King comforting an injured Ten, there's not a thing wrong in the world with that.

[black0and0white]

Adrien will appear at his side soon enough. The hand that isn't firmly in Sitara's will reach to squeeze Cadogan's arm at the elbow. The little girl, of course, will be hiding her face in Papa's side. It's not a good time for her. So many have been hurt. He literally can't leave her alone. But now that the worst is over (hopefully), it's time to stand back up.

For once, he won't say anything. Just stand quietly and wonder how so much could've happened in such a short time.

[diemwnt]

It would be nice to be strong and stable in front of Sitara, even with her face hidden against her father's side. But it's too much. He's too tired of the world being tilted sideways because his eyes are wonky--it's too much to have the world tilted sideways because one of the solid points in his life in the Deck has been pulled from beneath him.

So he exhales, shakes his head slowly, and reaches one arm up. Just. Hugs for a second, Adrien. Please.