Apple-cheeked and Chick-fil-A'ed
I'm not dead yet!
So yesterday, at the Apple Store... holy crap! I don't know what it is about sitting in Church in your Uncomfortable Shoes, listening to how you're going to Hell, but DAMN! Every Sunday afternoon, we get hit by the post-prayer crowd. These people are some angry, entitled, self-important pieces of work. More on that in a bit.
We do these Apple Youth Workshops and yes, it is actually an exercise in the wonders of birth control. Oh, and I mean the parents. The kids are fine, the soccer momdads, not so much. Anyway, the one we ran yesterday was on iMovie. Unfortunately, the guy in charge of teaching it didn't show up, nor did we even know it was happening until the kids showed up. It got even more awkward when I realized that I had to teach it and, oh yeah, learn it at the same time.
(Reading from script) "Hello everyone! Today we're going to learn about iMovie, a program I use every day to make my own films! Why, just the other day at LucasFilms, Inc..." The bullshit flowed like the spice of life yesterday, oh yeah. I totally use iMovie. Like, every day dudes. The best part was when I had to explain something to the 6 year-olds and caught myself saying, "So, it's sort of like when you pop a tape in the VCR..." (cue blank stares) "Er, I mean DVD player." Or was that LAZORRRDISC?
Anyway, back to the post-prayer peoples. First, EFF YOU, CHICK-FIL-A and your Christian not-open-on-Sunday-no-chicken-biscuits-for-you ways! I will leave you with some of my favorite customer comments and the responses that I must contain within my vein-bulging head.
"What do you mean I need an appointment? I drove fifteen minutes to get here! I don't have time for this!"
I can totally understand your frustration. I drove an hour to get here so I could look at your fat, bitchy face and touch the greasy iPod which you've obvious driven over in your Lexus SUV.
"I dropped my iPod in the toilet and I want a new one."
I ended up with you as a customer and I want a new one, too. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go boil my hands and stab myself repeatedly with a rusty fork.
"Why should I buy a Mac?"
Because you're at the Apple Store and we don't sell PCs, biatch. Do you also go to Starbucks and ask why you should buy a latte? Go to Cingular and ask why you should by a cell phone?
And my favorite, after I've explained how his printer will hook up to his computer... (Points to laptop) "Is this the computer?"
So yesterday, at the Apple Store... holy crap! I don't know what it is about sitting in Church in your Uncomfortable Shoes, listening to how you're going to Hell, but DAMN! Every Sunday afternoon, we get hit by the post-prayer crowd. These people are some angry, entitled, self-important pieces of work. More on that in a bit.
We do these Apple Youth Workshops and yes, it is actually an exercise in the wonders of birth control. Oh, and I mean the parents. The kids are fine, the soccer momdads, not so much. Anyway, the one we ran yesterday was on iMovie. Unfortunately, the guy in charge of teaching it didn't show up, nor did we even know it was happening until the kids showed up. It got even more awkward when I realized that I had to teach it and, oh yeah, learn it at the same time.
(Reading from script) "Hello everyone! Today we're going to learn about iMovie, a program I use every day to make my own films! Why, just the other day at LucasFilms, Inc..." The bullshit flowed like the spice of life yesterday, oh yeah. I totally use iMovie. Like, every day dudes. The best part was when I had to explain something to the 6 year-olds and caught myself saying, "So, it's sort of like when you pop a tape in the VCR..." (cue blank stares) "Er, I mean DVD player." Or was that LAZORRRDISC?
Anyway, back to the post-prayer peoples. First, EFF YOU, CHICK-FIL-A and your Christian not-open-on-Sunday-no-chicken-biscuits-for-you ways! I will leave you with some of my favorite customer comments and the responses that I must contain within my vein-bulging head.
"What do you mean I need an appointment? I drove fifteen minutes to get here! I don't have time for this!"
I can totally understand your frustration. I drove an hour to get here so I could look at your fat, bitchy face and touch the greasy iPod which you've obvious driven over in your Lexus SUV.
"I dropped my iPod in the toilet and I want a new one."
I ended up with you as a customer and I want a new one, too. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go boil my hands and stab myself repeatedly with a rusty fork.
"Why should I buy a Mac?"
Because you're at the Apple Store and we don't sell PCs, biatch. Do you also go to Starbucks and ask why you should buy a latte? Go to Cingular and ask why you should by a cell phone?
And my favorite, after I've explained how his printer will hook up to his computer... (Points to laptop) "Is this the computer?"