Oh no I di'n't
Sometimes you do something so embarrassing that nothing short of a flaming blowtorch applied to your anus could possibly wrench it from your lips. Yes, I just used the words anus and lips in the same sentence. Only time and/or assassinations can help overcome the shame. That, and laughing about it.
In the interest of your possible amusement(s), I offer one of mine:
I went on a binge drinking spree (not in college) for exactly one month. I would go to the bodega, always with I.D., and buy a case of Corona. And limes if they had them, which they usually didn't. I would pound exactly six in a row, every single night, along with one large bag of Lay's Original potato chips. I would do this in the company of my cat while watching primetime sitcoms. Then one morning I wondered why the hell there was barf in the bathtub when I was the only one home. *tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock* Ohhhhh, right. My bad.
There's probably that alcoholism gene in my family but I, typically, bucked the trend. I condensed the liver damage down into a trim four weeks! I never did like the taste of beer.
In the interest of your possible amusement(s), I offer one of mine:
I went on a binge drinking spree (not in college) for exactly one month. I would go to the bodega, always with I.D., and buy a case of Corona. And limes if they had them, which they usually didn't. I would pound exactly six in a row, every single night, along with one large bag of Lay's Original potato chips. I would do this in the company of my cat while watching primetime sitcoms. Then one morning I wondered why the hell there was barf in the bathtub when I was the only one home. *tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock* Ohhhhh, right. My bad.
There's probably that alcoholism gene in my family but I, typically, bucked the trend. I condensed the liver damage down into a trim four weeks! I never did like the taste of beer.