so confused

[hotqt45]

ok so i wake up to read eriks away message..." I need a girl that wants my love, One who sees through the bullshit and rises above... A girl that will go the extra mile.. just for a moment to make me smile.... I need a girl with a heart thats true.. who makes me laugh when i am blue... a girl with passion in her kiss.... a girl that can show me soft sweet bliss... A girl i can show my tender side....a girl who i can be myself with and not hide... a girl with a love thats strong and true...where is this girl im waiting on you ..." apparently im not that girl i guess, if in fact it was directed at me. lately ive been really confused; abotu everything, about where erik and i stand, about my life, about school, about y i still bother to care about my supposed best friend when the only time she calls me is when bobby cant hang out, about peoples sincerity, about whether or not i should trust certian freidns with my feelings and emotions or if im gonna get dicked around. ive been kinda down lately. got to go to the mall last night though with barb and just go shoppin and release tension and talk to her, that was nice. it felt good to get out of my room. lol, and we got hit on by these guys who were tryin to sell magazines for their fraternity to raise money for charity and their derby party on sat...i know he was just tryin to sell shit but it was cool to have guys tellin us we were hot! lol, barb was hittin on him hardcore. i talked to halo last night, that was good since i hadnt talked to him since sunday. halo calms me down, gives me good advice, and protects me. hes like my big brother and i appreciate that. i was talking to him about erik and that i was confused and about our talks on monday night. halo had a lot nicer things to say about erik last night then he did on sunday night lol. i dont know what i would do without halo...ok, so i need to get in the shower and get ready for school...i have to get there early and do my paramedic bio homework...oops, i always put off the big projects till the last minute...its due today! lol ; D

Love always,
**~Casey~*