Am Freitag... with new style...
First of all, I would like to ask NWA, what the hell happened to the snow you promised? Where is my twelve feet of snow? You were so certain last night. And come this morning, I find nothing. Just a puny glazing of the cars.
I am very disappointed.
"I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train."
- Gwendolen, Act 2, The Importance of Being Earnest, Oscar Wilde
9.19 Class ends early. A whole minute. This means I can get my book approved. With time to spare.
9.22 Okay, Girl, hurry up with your question there. You've spent exactly three minutes building it up. I've a quiz in exactly eight minutes.
9.23 Finally, you spit it out! No, Tall Asian, no! You cannot ask your question right now. I was up here before you, nevermind the fact you sit in the front row. Trust me my question is quick and my need for conversation with teacher is brief, I assure you. And I've got a quiz in exactly seven minutes.
9.25 Tall Asian, you are like Girl. Get to the point, quick. I feel I must inform you that in exactly five minutes I've got a quiz, and I simply cannot be late. Germans do not like tardiness. It makes them angry, and one does not anger a German.
9.26 Maybe I should e-mail the question and bring book Monday?
9.26.5 Thank goodness, Tall Asian. Yes, that's it. Take a breather. Uh, Mr. Teacher...
9.27 See? Quick and painless... Yikes! Must run! Fast!
9.28 Schneller, Body, schneller! That's it one leg in front of the other. OOF...
9.29 Okay, pick Self up. No one I know saw that, right? Arg! Mach schnell, Body! Doors. Why thank you, Kind Sir, for holding the door open for me. Clearly someone recognizes my desperate hurry.
9.29.5 Stairs...
9.29.45 Okay, Self, try not to look so flustered. Deep breaths. One. Two.
9.30 Yes! Hello, everyone! What? Extra time for last minute study? Sometimes I even amaze myself.
9.31 What? Wednesday's Quiz? Herr Teacher, you said good job? Wirklich? Wow! Bravo, Self. Full points is simply amazing... and something I need... and didn't expect. This makes my day.
9.32 Time for Quiz. Two cups of coffee are finally starting to take effect.
9.50 Aufstehen! Was? Why are you putting a yellow Post-it note on my forehead, Herr Teacher?
9.52 Okay, now that we all have yellow Post-it notes on our foreheads, who's for a game of Indian poker?
9.53 Wer bin ich?
10.05 Ich bin Paris Hilton.
10.06 Okay... another Post-it note. Wer bin ich diese Zeit?
10.13 Doesn't anyone know who I am?
10.15 Still nothing. I know nuhzing!
10.15.5 Oh, J.D. from Scrubs? Mental note: Watch Scrubs more often, so as to learn characters.
10.17 Hangman? Spaß!
10.21 Schönes Wochenende!
10.30 Welcome, once again, to the History of Stupid People from 1877 to Present. Les Idiots...
But where is everyone?
10.42 Why thank you, Ms. Teacher. Thanks for that most wonderful rant about low test scores because of our lack. It was quite illuminating. I quite agree with you. Americans are morons. Don't worry. The German tries to emphasize that point as much as possible. But I am glad to know that you are trying to make us less of a moron. Too bad only one person has taken you up on your offer for study help. Such a shame, really.
10.45 What the hell do you mean you're not curving the grade on the final?! Why?! Because we morons didn't send email for study help??? And no one is here in class???
11.10 Are you done talking yet? While your speech was enlightening, I've grown tired off hearing it over and over again. Once again, you've taken another tangent, Ms. Teacher. You should know that I don't take to listening or learning, for that matter, very well when one rambles. Really, this lecture has become redundant, and I feel I could have made better use of my time, although I am most ecstatic to know how exactly a moron should study.
11.13 I wonder what's for lunch today? Hopefully, it will be something good.
11.24 ...If I could escape...
11.30 Yes! Time to put Big X in motion and escape Stalag Luft 13. Must turn group stuff in, though. Move people, I know you're in a hurry to escape, too, but you are in my way. It will just take two seconds for me to turn this in, I promise. I feel like I'm having déjà vu. Where is Moses when you need him?
11.33 Almost outside... Girl struggling with doors. No worries. There's a remedy for the heavy doors: the handy, dandy handicap button.
11.33.5 Whoops. Sorry about that. Didn't mean to make you fall and trip when I hit the button. Didn't realize you were struggling that much with the door. Oh... You're a sorority girl. That explains everything.
11.34 It really was quite funny.
14.30 Oh! I did really well on Sociology. Surprising. I am going to focus on that and the German instead of History of Morons today.
16.30 It really should have snowed. I feel like being social. Maybe I'll give Mom a call.
18.15 Should not have given Mom a call. What was I thinking? Must get Sister to teach me the ways of saying goodbye.
18.20 Why did NEA get my snow, anyway? Very upsetting.
19.40 Step on it, Friend! We're gonna be late for Anderson Cooper! We must see Andy!
20.00 Whew. We made it. We even have decent seats. Oh, look! There he is! HaHa. Everyone's cameras are flashing. Oh, Friend, yours is, too. I wonder if he ever finds it annoying?
21.10 Hurry, Friend, buy a book. I'll get in line for autographs.
21.12 Man, I bet the Bookstore is making a killing tonight.
21.20 Man in Suit, stop treating me like a kindergartener. I've already been treated like that once today and do not feel like revisiting it. I am not the one being loud.
21.40 Oh, Anderson, let me get a picture...
22.00 Mmmm.... Dinner. So hungry. Thank you, Friend, for taking me to McDonald's.
22.10 Okay, turn around, and let's get your shake.
22.20 Park here. No, not there. Do you want your car to get towed? Here.
22.22 Where did Monty Python go? How did Airplane find its way in the case? Mysterious.
22.25 Surely, you can't be serious. I am serious. And don't call me Shirley!
I am very disappointed.
"I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train."
- Gwendolen, Act 2, The Importance of Being Earnest, Oscar Wilde
9.19 Class ends early. A whole minute. This means I can get my book approved. With time to spare.
9.22 Okay, Girl, hurry up with your question there. You've spent exactly three minutes building it up. I've a quiz in exactly eight minutes.
9.23 Finally, you spit it out! No, Tall Asian, no! You cannot ask your question right now. I was up here before you, nevermind the fact you sit in the front row. Trust me my question is quick and my need for conversation with teacher is brief, I assure you. And I've got a quiz in exactly seven minutes.
9.25 Tall Asian, you are like Girl. Get to the point, quick. I feel I must inform you that in exactly five minutes I've got a quiz, and I simply cannot be late. Germans do not like tardiness. It makes them angry, and one does not anger a German.
9.26 Maybe I should e-mail the question and bring book Monday?
9.26.5 Thank goodness, Tall Asian. Yes, that's it. Take a breather. Uh, Mr. Teacher...
9.27 See? Quick and painless... Yikes! Must run! Fast!
9.28 Schneller, Body, schneller! That's it one leg in front of the other. OOF...
9.29 Okay, pick Self up. No one I know saw that, right? Arg! Mach schnell, Body! Doors. Why thank you, Kind Sir, for holding the door open for me. Clearly someone recognizes my desperate hurry.
9.29.5 Stairs...
9.29.45 Okay, Self, try not to look so flustered. Deep breaths. One. Two.
9.30 Yes! Hello, everyone! What? Extra time for last minute study? Sometimes I even amaze myself.
9.31 What? Wednesday's Quiz? Herr Teacher, you said good job? Wirklich? Wow! Bravo, Self. Full points is simply amazing... and something I need... and didn't expect. This makes my day.
9.32 Time for Quiz. Two cups of coffee are finally starting to take effect.
9.50 Aufstehen! Was? Why are you putting a yellow Post-it note on my forehead, Herr Teacher?
9.52 Okay, now that we all have yellow Post-it notes on our foreheads, who's for a game of Indian poker?
9.53 Wer bin ich?
10.05 Ich bin Paris Hilton.
10.06 Okay... another Post-it note. Wer bin ich diese Zeit?
10.13 Doesn't anyone know who I am?
10.15 Still nothing. I know nuhzing!
10.15.5 Oh, J.D. from Scrubs? Mental note: Watch Scrubs more often, so as to learn characters.
10.17 Hangman? Spaß!
10.21 Schönes Wochenende!
10.30 Welcome, once again, to the History of Stupid People from 1877 to Present. Les Idiots...
But where is everyone?
10.42 Why thank you, Ms. Teacher. Thanks for that most wonderful rant about low test scores because of our lack. It was quite illuminating. I quite agree with you. Americans are morons. Don't worry. The German tries to emphasize that point as much as possible. But I am glad to know that you are trying to make us less of a moron. Too bad only one person has taken you up on your offer for study help. Such a shame, really.
10.45 What the hell do you mean you're not curving the grade on the final?! Why?! Because we morons didn't send email for study help??? And no one is here in class???
11.10 Are you done talking yet? While your speech was enlightening, I've grown tired off hearing it over and over again. Once again, you've taken another tangent, Ms. Teacher. You should know that I don't take to listening or learning, for that matter, very well when one rambles. Really, this lecture has become redundant, and I feel I could have made better use of my time, although I am most ecstatic to know how exactly a moron should study.
11.13 I wonder what's for lunch today? Hopefully, it will be something good.
11.24 ...If I could escape...
11.30 Yes! Time to put Big X in motion and escape Stalag Luft 13. Must turn group stuff in, though. Move people, I know you're in a hurry to escape, too, but you are in my way. It will just take two seconds for me to turn this in, I promise. I feel like I'm having déjà vu. Where is Moses when you need him?
11.33 Almost outside... Girl struggling with doors. No worries. There's a remedy for the heavy doors: the handy, dandy handicap button.
11.33.5 Whoops. Sorry about that. Didn't mean to make you fall and trip when I hit the button. Didn't realize you were struggling that much with the door. Oh... You're a sorority girl. That explains everything.
11.34 It really was quite funny.
14.30 Oh! I did really well on Sociology. Surprising. I am going to focus on that and the German instead of History of Morons today.
16.30 It really should have snowed. I feel like being social. Maybe I'll give Mom a call.
18.15 Should not have given Mom a call. What was I thinking? Must get Sister to teach me the ways of saying goodbye.
18.20 Why did NEA get my snow, anyway? Very upsetting.
19.40 Step on it, Friend! We're gonna be late for Anderson Cooper! We must see Andy!
20.00 Whew. We made it. We even have decent seats. Oh, look! There he is! HaHa. Everyone's cameras are flashing. Oh, Friend, yours is, too. I wonder if he ever finds it annoying?
21.10 Hurry, Friend, buy a book. I'll get in line for autographs.
21.12 Man, I bet the Bookstore is making a killing tonight.
21.20 Man in Suit, stop treating me like a kindergartener. I've already been treated like that once today and do not feel like revisiting it. I am not the one being loud.
21.40 Oh, Anderson, let me get a picture...
22.00 Mmmm.... Dinner. So hungry. Thank you, Friend, for taking me to McDonald's.
22.10 Okay, turn around, and let's get your shake.
22.20 Park here. No, not there. Do you want your car to get towed? Here.
22.22 Where did Monty Python go? How did Airplane find its way in the case? Mysterious.
22.25 Surely, you can't be serious. I am serious. And don't call me Shirley!