god damn it, jesus-fucking-christ!!!
so i am in the crappiest mood ever! basically i was up for 24 (actually more like 30) hours, came home, went to sleep and now mom is in my room watching this fucking republican thing....*sigh*....home life is starting to get to me....really, really, really get to me.
as is my relationship. what the fuck, people! it's so hard not seeing someone who you love SO SO SO SO SO SO MUCH!!!!! steph is so important to me, and i feel like all of my love for her is coming back to me (not through her) through anxiety. this odd perpetual, self-made anxiety. not seeing the one you love sucks...living with my parents sucks a little less...but sucks just the same.
my car is wrecked and being fixed....trying to get out to see steph this sunday...if she has time....which of course she will.
best friend off to russia....not gonna see him for a year unless i fly there to see him myself....rough...shoulda talked to him more during the year....but, i think that above all else...i should have stayed at school during the summer.
i swore that i would never come home again after last summer....but i did and it's been rediculous. drama between parents, drama between me and parents....when you get right down to it...this summer was long, expensive and i have nothing to show for it but a deteriorated relationship with all of those around me, lots of debt, 1/2 a car and an extremely tired, cashed out body. i cannot fucking wait to get back to school and that's all there is to it.
and that's about it for my lj entry. getting back to school, going to counseling and never, ever, returning home.
as is my relationship. what the fuck, people! it's so hard not seeing someone who you love SO SO SO SO SO SO MUCH!!!!! steph is so important to me, and i feel like all of my love for her is coming back to me (not through her) through anxiety. this odd perpetual, self-made anxiety. not seeing the one you love sucks...living with my parents sucks a little less...but sucks just the same.
my car is wrecked and being fixed....trying to get out to see steph this sunday...if she has time....which of course she will.
best friend off to russia....not gonna see him for a year unless i fly there to see him myself....rough...shoulda talked to him more during the year....but, i think that above all else...i should have stayed at school during the summer.
i swore that i would never come home again after last summer....but i did and it's been rediculous. drama between parents, drama between me and parents....when you get right down to it...this summer was long, expensive and i have nothing to show for it but a deteriorated relationship with all of those around me, lots of debt, 1/2 a car and an extremely tired, cashed out body. i cannot fucking wait to get back to school and that's all there is to it.
and that's about it for my lj entry. getting back to school, going to counseling and never, ever, returning home.