rambling
I'm up in weight. Which is normal for me during this time of the month. It'll drop down to where it was before it shot up in a few days. I still feel terrible, albeit better than yesterday. My gastrointestinal tract seems to be in distress. I'm drinking tea and eating toast for breakfast.
The baby knows how to climb out of his bed now. Which is problematic.
The kids dad *may* come get them for lunch. He emailed me to let me know he was in town for surgery. He always mentions these personal details but will never expound of I ask him, so I quit asking him. Not sure how his surgery is relevant to seeing the kids. His job takes him in and out of town often, I don't question that. The last time he had surgery the kids said it was to fix his stomach. So I'm a bit jealous. I have to work my ass off to lose weight, while he gets gastric bypass. And I have to save and pinch money, while he just blows through it. Ugh. I know that's pretty petty of me. But it is what it is.
I feel stuck at this weight. Especially without exercise. I know it's my period, bit I definitely gained with our date. I had finally made it to 133, with only 3 more pounds to lose. And now I'm up at 135. Ugh.
plans for the day: laundry. It's way over do.
later at 12:51 I'm irritated. again. My ex asked if the kids could go out for lunch. I said yes. Then my second son is flipping it because he can't find matching socks. I haven't felt well. The laundry I've done is bed sheets that have been vomited on. We weren't planning on going anywhere and I haven't felt well. So I haven't kept laundry up. I tell him to grab two white ones or black ones. But he's visually upset because his dad will get mad if they don't match, people will think he looks silly. wtf? They are socks. No one sees them under the jeans.
I pretty much let me kids know exactly what I thought of this. I'm so done keeping my mouth shut and having him make them feel insecure. Which my oldest cried because he thinks his dad walks on water. But I can't know these things are being said to one of my children and not balance it out with truth. The truth is as long as it isn't sin, or offensive, you're allowed to wear whatever you want. granted there are appropriate places to wear things (I.e. We don't wear swim suits to school) but somewhere there is going to be somebody who doesn't think it's cool. You don't stress for them, you dress to make yourself feel good and to please God.
And it makes me mad that he lives in at least a 300, 000 dollar house, drives an escalade, doesn't pay HALF of his support he should (because he conveniently was on unemployment during the hearing), then had the audacity to make fun of the clothes we do have?
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