slowly getting there
Good morning. Tempted to weigh in today, but said screw it. I'm not falling into that trap of weighing every day. how much different could it be from yesterday? Then I grabbed a 24 ounce glass of cucumber water, my weights, and hit the chest and triceps. My triceps are feeling it. Before I relapsed I had worked up a little past 10 male pushups, and then I relapsed and couldn't do one! Now, I did two today. So that's progress. And I'm fucking owning it.
Then I ate breakfast. Egg, cottage cheese, dry wheat toast. This stupid pumpkin ice cream and whip cream have been calling my name for days. So I said screw it, and I got half a scoop and sat with my son while we shared it. I just felt like if I didn't let myself have a taste that I was going to end up binging on it, regretting it, and puking it up. So I just had some and called it a day. I've officially started my period, so I definitely am craving sugary crap. Which is code for drink more water.
I am probably going to get my hair cut today. Eek. I'm excited and nervous.
Yesterday was a hard day. Every time I ate I felt like I was being attacked in my head. You could skip this, cut back on that, eat only half... all.... day.... long! I felt like I was battling. I kept reminding myself that I am repairing muscle and that my body needs the nutrition. I don't know why I freak so much. I don't really eat terrible. Breakfast was an egg and a 1/4 avodcado, with a little cottage cheese. lunch was peanut butter on whole wheat (extra protein) toast and pistacchios. my snack was a sweet potato with garlic and salt and pepper. Dinner was a chicken on a salad that was made of romaine, tomatoes, cucumber, green onions, carrots, avocado, and the tiniest bit of paul newmans ranch; and I had some fries. Why do I feel guilty? It's not the cleanest eating, but its far from junk. Yet I keep thinking I should just eat less and I would get rid of this bloat. It isn't as bad as it was, but I do feel that it is true weight gain. All in my midsection. but if I do what my mind is telling me to do I will be unhealthy, not reach goals, and prolong this stupid process of being bloated.
Hate to discuss this.. but I'm thinking that my beloved cottage cheese is part of the reason that I can't poop regularly. When I wasn't eating it I was moving my bowels everyday, but now that I'm eating it again I am not. but I did slack off taking fiber around thanksgiving so that could be the culprit as well. I'll start the fiber and see what happens or I may not have my husband buy it next time just to see what happens. but I like that it has protein and isn't high in calories, however my husband says the kind of protein it is is mostly junk and not usable by the body. ugh. lol
Speaking of fiber, my son has candidas. And it makes loose bowels when he eats too much sugar. So I put sugar in his yogurt. The other day I forgot to do it, and he came in trying not to throw a fit because "Mom, there's no fiber in it" haha I think I wrote this before. But it cracks me up!! What four year old asks for fiber?
Goals for the day: I'm hoping to get the two miles in. I may do one on the treadmill and take the kids for a walk for the other one. as long as I'm staying active. I need to clean up, do more laundry, and get a shower for my hair cut later.
Then I ate breakfast. Egg, cottage cheese, dry wheat toast. This stupid pumpkin ice cream and whip cream have been calling my name for days. So I said screw it, and I got half a scoop and sat with my son while we shared it. I just felt like if I didn't let myself have a taste that I was going to end up binging on it, regretting it, and puking it up. So I just had some and called it a day. I've officially started my period, so I definitely am craving sugary crap. Which is code for drink more water.
I am probably going to get my hair cut today. Eek. I'm excited and nervous.
Yesterday was a hard day. Every time I ate I felt like I was being attacked in my head. You could skip this, cut back on that, eat only half... all.... day.... long! I felt like I was battling. I kept reminding myself that I am repairing muscle and that my body needs the nutrition. I don't know why I freak so much. I don't really eat terrible. Breakfast was an egg and a 1/4 avodcado, with a little cottage cheese. lunch was peanut butter on whole wheat (extra protein) toast and pistacchios. my snack was a sweet potato with garlic and salt and pepper. Dinner was a chicken on a salad that was made of romaine, tomatoes, cucumber, green onions, carrots, avocado, and the tiniest bit of paul newmans ranch; and I had some fries. Why do I feel guilty? It's not the cleanest eating, but its far from junk. Yet I keep thinking I should just eat less and I would get rid of this bloat. It isn't as bad as it was, but I do feel that it is true weight gain. All in my midsection. but if I do what my mind is telling me to do I will be unhealthy, not reach goals, and prolong this stupid process of being bloated.
Hate to discuss this.. but I'm thinking that my beloved cottage cheese is part of the reason that I can't poop regularly. When I wasn't eating it I was moving my bowels everyday, but now that I'm eating it again I am not. but I did slack off taking fiber around thanksgiving so that could be the culprit as well. I'll start the fiber and see what happens or I may not have my husband buy it next time just to see what happens. but I like that it has protein and isn't high in calories, however my husband says the kind of protein it is is mostly junk and not usable by the body. ugh. lol
Speaking of fiber, my son has candidas. And it makes loose bowels when he eats too much sugar. So I put sugar in his yogurt. The other day I forgot to do it, and he came in trying not to throw a fit because "Mom, there's no fiber in it" haha I think I wrote this before. But it cracks me up!! What four year old asks for fiber?
Goals for the day: I'm hoping to get the two miles in. I may do one on the treadmill and take the kids for a walk for the other one. as long as I'm staying active. I need to clean up, do more laundry, and get a shower for my hair cut later.