(no subject)
2:12 AM, It's been a few days since I have updated, just havent "felt" the journal. Well, last night wasn't bad, or so I thought. I did something stupid, I called in to UPS so I could go party it up with Rusty's niece Caroline. I almost drank too much, as I felt the need to go to the bathroom, and ended up taking a lil nap with my head over the toilet. I soon migrated to the couch, and passed the fuck out. I drove home, sick, head pounding, motherfuckering myself around 11 this morning. The bad part is that, while I was drunk, I ran my mouth about a few things I had witnessed Carolines ex-boyfriend do. Well, she called him, ripped him one, and the he called looking for me. I didnt think it would be a big deal, but, OOPS, I fucked up, but, oh well, FUCK IT.
On to today, Saturday, after I laid around contemplating what to do for lunch, I ordered pizza, and I shit you not, right as soon as the pizza guy rolls up in the drive, Melissa calls and wants to go eat. HI HO HI HO, off to Indiana I go, not really hungry, just want to see my baby momma. So, we roll out to the rich hood, to eat at the ever popular J. Alaxanders. It was a good time, even though my stomach was a little touchy, and I did complain some. But, Melissa was still her new found self, and fairly nice to me. I made the mistake of telling her she could sign my tip to the waiter, and BAM, 13 dollars and some change later, I had spent 55 bucks. Well, little did I know, that we were scheduled to go mall hopping, to both richy malls. Good times, and I didnt mention, but, I let Melissa drive everywhere! Well, I took her home, under the impression that I might nap, and then back to Indiana, to bowl in the no tap.
Well around 8 or so, Melissa layed into me about going out last night, I dont think it was all her, but, it really hurt my feelings, and pissed me off. I was about to fall asleep on the couch, 8:55, ring ring, "Are you going bowling?" "NO" Click. Call back, if I go, are you going to be like that... Shaun had left her there, told her to TRY and be a good mom. Oh man, it was ass whooping time... VROOOM, I'm rolling to get Lissa to take her to the bowling alley. We get there, bowl, and have a fairly good time. Then he finishes before us, and the dumb fucker LEAVES. Blah blah blah. She is upset, hurt, and mad.
I dont blame her one bit. I leave her there to argue, or whatnot, and go hang at Walmart, so I am close enough to rescue her. I go to Tony's house, and talk about her, how much I love her, and everything for like 15 minutes to Daniel.
I really want her to try with Shaun, cause the more she trys, the least I'll have to worry about him if I ever date her. But, until then, watching her be sad, makes me sick to my stomach, literally. I want to be able to show her my gentle, comforting, loving side. But, I cant, as it wouldnt matter, because I'm not the guy she wants it from. That makes me sad too... I just want the simple shit, hold her hand, put my arms around her... Just let her know that there is at least one person who cares about her, believes in her, and loves her dearly. And if she ever asked, I would give it up in .2 seconds. I mean, it would be beneficial for me too... I love her dearly, and watching her be miserable is very hard on me.
It gets harder to bring her out of the dumps the further she slips, and that doesnt make me feel very good, not being able to make her happy.
I offered to take her bike riding tomorrow, hopefully we can go after her and Shaun talk... I mean, how fucking dumb is he, it was just last week, when they had the Trust or Bust talk, and he's already fucking UP! There was also mention of wanting to whoop my ass from a mutual friend, OH HELL YEAH, bring that shit on buddy. I would stomp a mudhole in his ass and walk it dry. Well, I think I have vented, wish me luck, I am depressed, and so is my baby momma. Wish us both luck, and I'll be back to talk more as soon as I can. Peace out, love you all, Lee...
On to today, Saturday, after I laid around contemplating what to do for lunch, I ordered pizza, and I shit you not, right as soon as the pizza guy rolls up in the drive, Melissa calls and wants to go eat. HI HO HI HO, off to Indiana I go, not really hungry, just want to see my baby momma. So, we roll out to the rich hood, to eat at the ever popular J. Alaxanders. It was a good time, even though my stomach was a little touchy, and I did complain some. But, Melissa was still her new found self, and fairly nice to me. I made the mistake of telling her she could sign my tip to the waiter, and BAM, 13 dollars and some change later, I had spent 55 bucks. Well, little did I know, that we were scheduled to go mall hopping, to both richy malls. Good times, and I didnt mention, but, I let Melissa drive everywhere! Well, I took her home, under the impression that I might nap, and then back to Indiana, to bowl in the no tap.
Well around 8 or so, Melissa layed into me about going out last night, I dont think it was all her, but, it really hurt my feelings, and pissed me off. I was about to fall asleep on the couch, 8:55, ring ring, "Are you going bowling?" "NO" Click. Call back, if I go, are you going to be like that... Shaun had left her there, told her to TRY and be a good mom. Oh man, it was ass whooping time... VROOOM, I'm rolling to get Lissa to take her to the bowling alley. We get there, bowl, and have a fairly good time. Then he finishes before us, and the dumb fucker LEAVES. Blah blah blah. She is upset, hurt, and mad.
I dont blame her one bit. I leave her there to argue, or whatnot, and go hang at Walmart, so I am close enough to rescue her. I go to Tony's house, and talk about her, how much I love her, and everything for like 15 minutes to Daniel.
I really want her to try with Shaun, cause the more she trys, the least I'll have to worry about him if I ever date her. But, until then, watching her be sad, makes me sick to my stomach, literally. I want to be able to show her my gentle, comforting, loving side. But, I cant, as it wouldnt matter, because I'm not the guy she wants it from. That makes me sad too... I just want the simple shit, hold her hand, put my arms around her... Just let her know that there is at least one person who cares about her, believes in her, and loves her dearly. And if she ever asked, I would give it up in .2 seconds. I mean, it would be beneficial for me too... I love her dearly, and watching her be miserable is very hard on me.
It gets harder to bring her out of the dumps the further she slips, and that doesnt make me feel very good, not being able to make her happy.
I offered to take her bike riding tomorrow, hopefully we can go after her and Shaun talk... I mean, how fucking dumb is he, it was just last week, when they had the Trust or Bust talk, and he's already fucking UP! There was also mention of wanting to whoop my ass from a mutual friend, OH HELL YEAH, bring that shit on buddy. I would stomp a mudhole in his ass and walk it dry. Well, I think I have vented, wish me luck, I am depressed, and so is my baby momma. Wish us both luck, and I'll be back to talk more as soon as I can. Peace out, love you all, Lee...