[Fanfic] And All That Jazz 15/20

[hoshiko2]

Title: And All That Jazz
Pairings: Alfred (US)/ Arthur (UK)
Characters: America and England
Rating: PG13 for language
Warnings: Jealous Arthur
Summary: Alfred is approached by the Student Body President, Arthur, for help on his math exam. They hate each other, but maybe opposites can attract with the help of something unexpected.
This chapter: If the boys are to move forward, they need to learn trust.


Phone calls and weekends became the norm for me after that. College life and I had come to a cordial agreement that my homework was not to interfere with my social life. Mainly, any of my time with Alfred. Occasionally, the trio down the hallway would invite me down for a movie and some late night dinner parties. At first, when I realized Gilbert and Antonio shared a dorm just a few doors down from me I worried the two would harass me as they did at practices. However, they were polite and kept to themselves.

Most of the time.

It was Francis I soon found was the problem. He was only ten doors away but I swear everyone on the first floor could hear the many ladies that followed him to his room. Let's not forget he soon became popular because of his many parties, all of which he invited me to and all of which I turned down. Never one to be deterred, the Frenchmen would just pound on my door and try to drag me down the hallway.

Luckily, I had managed to make a few sympathetic friends that would help me out. Mainly from my Writing 103 class, they were quiet and shy, understanding of my space. None of us hung out after class, aside from Lukas. A reclusive boy from Norway, we only met on a whim when he sat beside me in class and had a library book about fairytale legends. Curious, I leaned over and asked if it was any good.

He struck me as a very spacey chap, the boy with dull blue eyes and light blonde hair. Still, he was very knowledgeable and we were soon exchanging stories of what we knew in the magical community. Lukas even revealed to me that he could see fairies, a rare commodity.

When I was younger, I once claimed to have seen them too. I chased them around in our English garden well past nightfall until my mother had to come get me. Even at night, I would stay up late and talk to them. Tell them my dreams and my secrets. At the time, I thought they were real. I suppose Alfred would laugh me off and call me crazy, knowing full well he didn't believe in magic. However now, I still believed in them, although they were long gone from my vision.

I do hope one day soon I will find the ability to see them again as Lukas had.

"Do you have a special someone?" Lukas asked me one day on the fly.

Class was to begin soon and I had shown up earlier than normal. I was never one to bring my cell phone to class, much less have it in my hand when others were in the room. I considered it rude, especially to the professors. However today was special. Today was a surprise. Today, I wanted to spend a weekend with Alfred back home again.

I hastily moved to hide my cell phone as I felt my face heat up slightly. "Y-yes, I do."

Lukas smiled slightly. "How long?"

"A year in December." I found myself staring at nothing and just smiling.

My body was so warm just to know that he had been beside me for so long. Of course there were those lies, but he had tried to tell me. That look a few weeks back upon my first weekend at the school. He looked so ready.

But was I?

As I ran my mother's purse down to her, I thought just how much our relationship would change. Everything would be altered in a way I didn't know. Didn't know how to handle. Would it be bad? Would Alfred then begin to ask about my past? He had seen that photo. He knew I was hiding something.

If he knew would he stop loving me?

"What's her name?" Lukas asked me.

I was grateful for the respite in my thoughts. Sometimes I was very dangerous to myself.

"Ah, well, his name is Alfred," I replied nervously. I wasn't used to telling people of my relationship or my sexuality.

But Lukas merely smiled and nodded. "He's a lucky boy. You are very nice."

If only everyone acted as Lukas did.

Two hours later, I was standing outside of my old high school. It hadn't been long enough to feel too distant from the memories of the place; however it did feel alien to me. That bell no longer rang for me. Those new freshmen coming out were now under Kiku's watchful eye. Alfred told me that Kiku had won in a landslide, spear heading another glorious year for the Student Body. Kiku never did let me down in his precise guiding of young minds to not treat their high school so lightly.

After Alfred had gone back to school, he had begun talking to Kiku again. Nothing serious, but it was a start. Kiku was still very upset by his best friend just dropping quite a bomb on him, but was grateful for the relief. Aside from his girlfriend, Kiku had little friends. Well, little true friends. He was quite popular, especially for his weekly art contributions to the school newspapers and the murals he had painted on the wall alongside the cafeteria. But Alfred had been his friend for years.

Aside from that, Alfred rarely talked of his time at school. I took that as a good sign, especially since he hadn't mentioned if the football team had kicked him off or not. The season should have already begun, but I had yet to be invited to a single game. Alfred could have been tossed from the team, but he could have just as easily left. He was a senior now and college was his prime motivation for focusing on school.

He had been waiting for years to move out of his father's home and now, he was only a few months away. His own excitement was building in me before it showed on him, though whenever I brought up graduation, a light would flash in his eyes and he would beam like I've never seen.

And today, I hoped that my surprise would bring that smile upon his face for no other reason than he was happy to see me.

The students filed out. I recognized many and noticed a few new faces. Some mingled by the front gate while others headed to their parents car. I stood awkwardly in the parking lot, a box of homemade donuts in my hands. I knew they were one of Alfred's all time favorite desserts and while my cooking left much to the imagination, I still hoped the lad would see the meaning behind my present.

Even from afar I could spot Alfred. There was this great light that surrounded him in all of his cheerful enthusiasm. He was walking amongst a gaggle of girls, but that was common. Back when we still attended the same school he was popular with the ladies.

Normally I wouldn't care if I didn't see one girl clinging to Alfred's arm. And smile up at him. And have him return a smile back at her. But then she kissed his cheek and suddenly I wasn't okay with anything anymore. Alfred looked surprised at first and I hoped he was about to push the girl away, but instead he put a hand to where she kissed him. And laughed with a kind smile.

She left, waving and swaying her hips from side to side. Alfred watched her, rubbing the back of his head. He turned, heading to the parking lot, and spotted me.

"Arthur!" he exclaimed. His face broke out into smiles reserved for me, but it wasn't enough to quell my jealousy. "Hey! What're you doing here?"

"Surprising you," I grumbled. I shoved the donuts into Alfred's chest, stopping him from trying to hug me. "Here, I made you these."

Alfred wrinkled his nose as he took the box. He slowly lifted the cover, giving me an awkward smile. "Oh, how lovely. I'll eat them later, ok?"

"Who was that?" I snapped.

"Who was what?" Alfred sounded truly oblivious to whom I was talking about. He chose to just smile at me. So cute.

No! I can't be swayed. That girl kissed him and he did nothing to stop her. Did he let other girls kiss him?

"That girl that kissed your cheek."

"Oh! That was no one." But Alfred's face heated up.

"Didn't look like a 'no one'," I growled, crossing my arms.

There he goes, rubbing the back of his head. "No, I meant she's nobody to me."

"So you let nobodies kiss your cheek?" I asked.

Alfred shot out one of his hands, the other keeping hold of the box. "No! I meant! Look, Arthur that kiss was nothing! I've never seen her act that way before, so really, I had no idea she would do that!"

I turned, not convinced. "You still did nothing but grin after she left."

"What do you want me to do? Yell at her?" Alfred held his hand out in a shrug before he dropped it to his side with a loud slap. "Come on, Arthur. I have a lot of girl friends."

"That you let kiss you?" I exploded.

"Arthur, knock it off. You are over reacting."

I hated being told something I already knew. It only set me off even more, resulting in bad consequences. I promptly stormed to my car and got in. Alfred followed, calling my name. He grabbed the door handle, but I locked the car. He knocked on the window.

"Arthur! Arthur, come on! Don't do this!" he pleaded. "Come on! You came down to see me! I want to eat your donuts!"

I put the car into drive, glaring at Alfred out the window. "Bollocks to the donuts!"

And sped off. In all honesty, I had never done something as brash as this before, but Alfred had found it; the worst aspect of me. My jealousy had boiled over and I became selfish. Alfred was mine and mine alone. No flirty little tramp could take him away from me.

If I had to close Alfred up in my arms then I would. Never let him leave.

Somehow, I found myself back at my home, but hadn't bothered to wander in. My hair was a tattered mess as I cried while driving home. The tear stains and redness were still present on my face. My green eyes were lifeless as I stared at nothing in the distance. I hated how dependent I was of Alfred. He controlled so much of my life, but it was something that happened naturally.

After moving away, our attachment to each other grew worse. During the weekends we would hardly leave each other's sides. The band had agreed that we would meet as much as possible during these times and practice. But in the evenings and mornings, it was us. Only us. And I felt fast.

Whenever Alfred had to go home, he clung to me like a child, crying and begging not to leave. I would soothe him with a smile I thought was enough and a pat on the head, a kiss to the forehead, and promises of soon. Soon he'd be free and with me. Only with me. Not girls with seductive plans.

So engrossed was I in my thoughts that I didn't see Alfred pull his truck up behind me until he knocked on the passenger window. I looked over, expressionless.

He frowned at seeing my sad state. "Can I come in?"

I reached over and unlocked the door, not even sure of how I was able to move at the moment. There were so many conflicting thoughts in my head. I didn't know where to start. It wasn't even the girl anymore. Never was. It was the lying and the secrets. I was tired. I was so exhausted from them. But I was no better.

I lied to myself daily, saying that it would be okay. That Alfred was just slow in not telling me and that our unstable relationship would survive. That my past would never have to come into play since Alfred wasn't bringing his in. That I would never make Alfred angry and he'd get so mad he'd drop me flat on my back like he did Kiku. That he'd still love me in the morning.

If I wanted to start pointing fingers I would have to find some way to point them at me as well. I would have to take a step forward with Alfred. That was what a relationship was about. Moving together. We had been taking inertia steps; so painful it was creating mountains out of these molehills and I was crying and driving away from my boyfriend for being a boy when I should have kissed him and surprised him like I had dreamed of for a week.

"I'm sorry," Alfred whispered in the still air. He had been sitting and waiting while my mind whirled. "Arthur, I didn't mean to make you cry…"

"I don't want you to see her anymore," I said suddenly. I'm not sure why I said it when my jealousy had quelled.

But if I was to feel secure in anything with this relationship, it was to make sure no females came between us. Or males for that matter, thinking of Gilbert.

"What?" Alfred looked at me incredulously.

"Please, Alfred," I whispered, trying to not sound as desperate as I felt. "Please, for me. I don't like her. I don't like how you are with her."

"Arthur, I swear, it was just that one time and I don't-"

"Are you going to do it or not?" I shouted, snapping from my tense nerves.

Alfred put his hands up, his eyes widening. "Okay, okay, I won't. I promise. Jeez, are you gonna put anymore laws on me? I mean, hell, you don't live here or see me that often anymore. What right do you have?"

"The right of your God damn boyfriend, that's what!" My fingers twitched, aching to grab him and shake some sense into him. "I'm just asking you to do one simple thing!"

"Well excuse me for not liking it when you put shit down like that." Alfred crossed his arms and putting a foot up on the seat as he twisted his body to look at me. He was turning rebellious right before my eyes. "I mean, what the hell, Arthur? I can't just stop being friends with everyone because they like me and want to hang out with me. You don't see me at school anymore so there's no way you can put something like that on me. You know me and rules."

My face paled. I grew scared and began to cry. The tears just slid down my face as I looked at nothing. Nothing that would work to help fix this. I grew tough and clingy in hopes Alfred would see how scared I was. To see he should open to me. Instead I created a meaningless fight.

Alfred couldn't stay mad, though. He pulled me into his arms and hugged me to his chest, his hands on the back of my head. "Please don't cry. I'm sorry. I had no idea you thought so little of me. I dunno why, though. I'm honest with you."

There. My chance. I had to take it head on. I wasn't going to miss another moment. Just to make sure, I threw my phone in the backseat, his with it.

"I know, Alfred. I know you lie to me. I know you have secrets," I said, forcing my voice to be steady and my gaze to hold his as I looked at him. "Something happened that hurt you. You won't tell me, but there's a beating to your heart that I just can't be apart. I want to know."

Alfred stiffened, moved to turn away, but I held fast. Held to that resolve within me that we could work through this and our relationship could last. It had to. I loved him.

"I love you," I said aloud. "I wish I could take your hand and set you on some untouched land just so you will never be sad again, but I can't! I'm trying to fix what was broken, but how can I when I don't know what's wrong? I mean, Alfred, were you molested or something?"

"What?" Alfred's eyes grew to an impossibly large size as he twisted his face to look disgusted. "Why the hell would you think that?"

I blushed for my reason. "When we make love, I hold your wrists and you panic."

"O-oh." Alfred flushed as well, looking away. "No, I swear that didn't happen. No molestation or rape. Promise."

I sighed in relief. "Good…"

"…Were you?" Alfred asked tentatively.

"No!" I snapped my head up as Alfred looked over.

Our eyes met. I grabbed for him and he for me. We were idiots. Fools that rushed into love. He could feel as I caressed his face and kissed him a thousand times over in apology that I loved him more than anything. Knew he had run his last breath on his lies.

"Don't…," I whispered. "Don't leave me…"

Hearing his own words turned on him, Alfred gasped against my lips. Unsure of what to do, he froze up. I kept kissing him and whispering apologizes, saying he didn't have to leave his friend, asking him to hold me, and begging for him not to leave me.

He then collapsed against my body, his head on my shoulder. It felt wet suddenly and I worried Alfred was crying. His hands gripped at my shirt. For some reason, his large frame suddenly felt so much smaller as he shook in my arms. So many times he had seemed so childish, be it from his daily antics to his pleas for me not to leave when I moved away. But right now, at this moment, I had never felt a more fragile person than the boy in my arms.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled to my shoulder. "I want to tell you…I will…"

"Don't you trust me…?" I asked slowly, rubbing his back.

"I do!" He snapped his head up to look at me with wide vulnerable eyes. "I do more than anyone. Please, believe me."

Biting my lip, I felt compelled to. I recalled the few weeks ago when he tried. He was trying. There was the effort. He was trying to match pace with me. I had to tell myself to remember he was younger than me and had a different experience so he would be slower in some departments while I was faster in others.

Taking a deep breath, I nodded and smiled. I caressed his soft bangs behind his ear and kissed him gently. "I do… But I still want to know you. Everything. I will… tell you about me…"

"I want to know too," Alfred said tenderly, cupping my face with his hand. "About you."

"I will," I promised. I would make good on that too. "We have to trust one another. What happened in my past wasn't connected to you and I was not a part of yours so it's unfair we treat each other this way. But we are each other's futures…"

"I'm just weak," Alfred mumbled. He looked down at his lap, but took my hands in his. Not looking at me and with red ears he said, "But I'll be your strength. And I'll wait for you. I will. So will you be my strength?"

I smiled, honest and true. All these promises were just hopeful words filled with uncertainty. At this moment we had to both bring forth the first form of trust. Trust that our words were not just hope and would not shatter at our feet. Already, the sign of faith was blooming in our hearts. It was scary to think that this boy I adored and loved so much could destroy my world.

But it was just as scary for him to think the same thing for me.

"I will…"

Alfred kissed me. It wasn't passionate or heavy. I held him close, making a soft sound as I felt tears on his face slip between our lips. A few tears fell from me as well.

"Why do you love me?" Alfred asked. He fluttered his eyes open to look at me.

I thought for a moment on how I should answer. I had once asked Alfred that question before I graduated. At the time, I didn't want to know. I was too scared. Alfred could possibly be curious as to what I would say or just as terrified. Then, I recalled another memory.

When Alfred had first confessed to me. He was scared, yes, and nervous, but also bold and daring. He wasn't sure how I would answer, but he went with it anyways. I admired him, loved him, for his strength. To say he was weak was laughable and an insult and I was sad to know Alfred thought that of himself. No matter what I said to that, he wouldn't change. He was firm in his thoughts.

I would just have to show him.

"A wise boy once said, 'I don't know. Don't question my feelings'," I replied with a smile.

Alfred looked confused, but the fear had left his eyes. Good. "Who said that? That sounds familiar."

I chuckled, kissing his cheek and wiping away those tears. "You did, you prat."

"I did?" Alfred looked like he was thinking for a moment. "Wow, that was almost a year ago. I can't believe you actually remembered that. What are you, an elephant?"

"No, just British." The light-hearted Alfred was returning, bringing back the jovial Arthur. Our normalcy had come once again. The way it should be.

"Because that's totally a reason for everything," Alfred laughed with a roll of his eye. He looked at me and then attacked my mouth with his.

I was pushed against the window, my hands shooting out in surprise. The horn blared once before I moved it to Alfred's face, holding it close. I forgot, when Alfred was emotional he became very physical. Or, with me, very sexual. His hands were already heading south as he gave me another hickey. I pushed to stop him, but he held fast with his teeth and oh that tongue.

"Alfred," I moaned. No, don't open legs. "We're in my car…out in public…in broad daylight."

"So?" Twit was perfectly fine fornicating in the open air in front of my house! "It's make-up sex time."

I put a hand on his face as I shuddered away from that dangerous mouth. "Alfred, it wasn't nearly long enough to warrant any 'make-up sex' time."

Alfred pouted, holding me close. "Come ooooon. Please? Your parents aren't home!"

I glanced behind him at my house. My parents wouldn't be home for a few more hours, but considering the stern talking they gave to Alfred upon my departure for college, I couldn't take a risk. They had let us off the hook because I was moving out soon. I'm not so sure we should risk my first visit back home ending up in my father's rage.

I sighed, sitting up and turning on the car. Alfred looked to me curiously. "Where are we going?"

"Somewhere private," I said with a red face. "I must be out of my mind."

Alfred laughed, putting an arm around me, nuzzling into my neck. "You are, but so am I."

Hoshiko2's cents: Sorry for the longest time between updates. I got sick and then FLAT OUT HATED THIS CHAPTER! It was awkward to write. But it's important for a stepping stone to the next chapter, which is important. So important, oh man.

I included quotes from my newest favorite song from an FST from my favorite story. It's from the song Rain Falls Down from We The Kings and I CANNOT TURN IT OFF! This song could work with either one of these boys, actually… This song was the reason I got through this chapter, actually. So to my writer pal, if you're reading this, THANK YOU FOR SHOWING ME THAT SONG! X3

For the contest, there was one PAINFULLY OBVIOUS historical parallel in here. PLEASE tell me someone got it. Don't tell me 'till the contest ends.

One last thing, I have to apologize to you guys (my readers). I said this story would focus on the band and the boys, not backstories, but look what happened anyways. I feel bad, like terrible. It took away a lot of my inspiration to even continue on the path I had designated. But it's set and school starts Monday for me. I want this done before February when I will be overloaded with school work. So, again, I'm really sorry…