Beautiful Losers

[hoshatree]

Title: Beautiful Losers
Fandoms: Super Junior, SNSD
Pairing: Donghae/Jessica
Length: 7,500 approx.
Rating: 15+ for mild drug references, mild sex references and coarse language.
Disclaimer: The events portrayed in this story are purely fictional and do not reflect on the actual people written about.
Summary: Dong-hae, an irresponsible jazz pianist, wants to win back his high school sweetheart before she gets married, but trouble seems to follow him wherever he goes.



Tonight he was on fire.

On fire! The room is on fire, the night is on fire! Dun dun dun d-d-d-dun! He banged on the piano with electrifying intensity, pouring every ounce of his being into the music. The music was on fire! It was as if the piano was alive, a sentient life force, and his fingers were only an extension of it.

At some point his mouth had become dry, his tongue dry and rolling around, but he didn't stop playing. How could he possibly stop playing? The music was everything now, it had completely taken over, and there was nothing else he would rather do. Right in that moment he couldn't even remember how normal life felt like. Can't come down!

All around him he could see that people were moving, dancing to the music. A pot plant to his left was even swaying to the beat and it wriggled and jumped around. He almost chuckled to himself: who would have thought that a pot plant could dance? Soon enough the pot plant had come to plant itself beside him, speaking to him in his ear.

"Quiet pot plant!" he cried. "Can't you see I'm in the middle of a jam?"

The pot plant wouldn't stay quiet though. It moved in closer and even pressed a hand against his back.

"Dong-hae, are you high?"

"I said, I'm in the middle of a..." he broke off as he saw his own hands, beating at the keys. They had been hitting the same keys repeatedly.

Come to think of it, the pot plant looked a lot like Kyu-hyun. Kyu-hyun had taken a seat next to him on the stool, pushing him slightly to one side.

"I have to say, that's some pretty experimental stuff. Perhaps a little too much so for my tastes, but it can't be denied: you're a real artist. And to think your parents wanted you to go into classical."

"Kyu-hyun, what are you doing here?" he had stopped playing now, and he was suddenly hit by just how silent everything was.

"Why, can't I come to listen to a brother play?"

"Yeah, but you always want something." Disturbed by the sudden silence, he looked around and saw that everyone had gone. "Hey, where is everybody?"

"Home, probably. It's already 3 am."

Dong-hae jumped away from the piano. "Already? I can't stay, I have to get home."

He closed the piano with a bang and rushed out of the room, up the stairs and onto the street. Kyu-hyun chased after him.

"Are you sure you're alright? You seem a little spacy," he called, as he followed his target.

"Yeah sure, I'm fine. What do you want?" Dong-hae grabbed at his own shirt. He was so cold, why didn't he have a jacket? Where had he left it this time?

Kyu-hyun weaved around a street light, trying to stay up to speed with Dong-hae. "You know I have to remind you about that money you owe. You know I hate to do it, but you know what Pak's like. If I don't remind you now, someone else will come to remind you later and you know what that means."

Dong-hae made very little response. "Money, hmm, how much was it again? I hardly even remember what I used it for. I told him already that I would get it back when I got more work. Didn't you tell him that?"

"There's no use, Dong-hae. He doesn't care about your good intentions. If you don't get it back very soon you'll end up with two broken legs and I don't even know what else. And I'm telling you this as a friend, believe me!"

Kyu-hyun's voice became more and more faint as Dong-hae rushed away. Whatever Kyu-hyun's problem was, he couldn't concern himself with it now. He eventually found his way home and pushed through the front door clumsily. He hoped he wasn't in trouble.

* * *

Jessica rolled the phone in her hand over and then up against the table in a rhythmic motion, as if by clockwork as she stared at a pair of shoes in the nearby shop window. It was the holiday season and some of the shops had been decorated with Christmas wreaths and ribbons. She decided that she liked this time of year. She liked the cold.

"Jung Soo-yeon! Are you even listening to me?" Yuri slammed her palm against the table, making Jessica turn around in a sudden motion.

"Yes! Sorry, I got distracted, the window... uh, where were we?"

Yuri chuckled. "I can't believe you sometimes. You're getting married in two weeks and you haven't even organised a thing. You've been so busy wondering around the world, going back to America even. Are you sure about what you're doing?"

"Of course I am." Jessica straightened up as she spoke. "You make it sound as if I have been irresponsible, but I have already ensured that the wedding planning would be in good hands. I assigned it to my old friend Jung Yunho, and he knows what I want. Some people seem to think that planning a wedding is pure joy, but I can't say I agree. I would much rather have a professional do the work."

Yuri moved in closer, lowering her voice. "I mean, are you sure you really want to go through with the marriage? I assumed that spur of the moment decision to fly home was some kind of indication of cold feet. Am I right?"

They had been drinking coffee, but Jessica had forgotten about it and it had gone cold. She picked up the cup and stared into it. "I've made my decision and I'm going to stick with it."

"Do you love him?"

"No," she replied and Yuri raised an eyebrow. "Don't look at me like that. I think it's better to be blunt with these things. To be honest, I don't really see the problem. Isn't it better to make life decisions using your head, not your heart? I've seen plenty of fools marry for love and they end up in a mess. I think it's important that you respect one another, and you have the same goals. Love is a luxury."

She could tell from Yuri's patronising expression that she was rambling herself into a hole, or that she was desperately trying to justify her decisions. She would stop now. After all, who needed Yuri's approval?

Well, if she was to be perfectly honest, she really wanted nothing more than for Yuri to say that she agreed. The one thing Jessica was sure of was that friendship is important.

"I'm not judging you, Sica..." Yuri said at last. "I just want you to be happy. I'm worried that you're just talking yourself into this loveless marriage of convenience only for the sake of argument."

"Yes, but my whole argument revolves around my selfish desire to be happy. By choosing this marriage I will have all the luxuries of a good income, freedom to do whatever. It's what I want. As for any argument about love, I've never been in love and I probably never will be. It's alright for some people, but it's not my thing."

"Well I hope your husband agrees with you... ah, there he is!"

Jessica turned around to see her fiance hurrying up the steps to greet them. Yuri stood up and waved, giving a friendly smile. Jessica also stood, a little slower than her friend.

Mr. Kim was a thin man of about 40, with a round face that featured a pair of thick rimmed glasses. He was a bit wheezy from rushing, and needed to take out his inhaler. "I'm sorry for being late," he said in between puffs.

"That's not a problem," Jessica said sweetly. "Yuri and I were having a good time catching up on old times, weren't we? Please, don't rush yourself."

Once Kim had contained his wheezing he took a seat beside the two women. "I have something for you," he said to Jessica. "I had meant to give it to you earlier, and then I deliberated and wondered whether I should wait until later, but I have decided that I will give it to you now. It's something very precious, and it occurred to me that you don't own anything like it, so I would like to see you wear it."

He took a small box out of his bag and passed it to her. She took it gracefully and carefully opened it, making slight eye contact with Yuri as she did so. Yuri was already creeping closer to get a better look. They both gasped in shock at the contents of the box.

"Oh my," Jessica said, a little stupidly. "That looks very expensive."

It was a diamond pendant, heavy to hold. She lifted it out of the box and showed it to Yuri, who stared at it with an impressed smile.

"I shouldn't ask how much it is... it's quite a lot though, isn't it? I should say that you shouldn't have gone to so much trouble."

"But I had to!" Kim declared. "A woman of great value must have some token of great value to demonstrate her worth. I think it would suit you well."

Jessica thanked him kindly, and put the pendant on to please him. They continued the rest of the day in good spirits, but when it was time to say goodbye Yuri whispered to her, "It's your price tag."

* * *

Yunho was late getting home. It was cold out, so cold that the streets had frozen over, but people were everywhere, and the traffic was thick. Yunho's scarf was so big that it almost wrapped around his whole face and he stumbled occasionally from the lack of vision. He was stressed out.

The most important wedding of his schedule was coming up and he had just received a call from the hired musician, explaining that he had broken his left hand and would no longer be able to perform at the reception. All the other professional wedding performers were booked out for the next two weeks. It would have been an inconvenience to anyone, but to Yunho it was a disaster. His business was already struggling due to lack of a good reputation and this major event was to be his chance to get his name out there.

How fortunate had it been that his old friend Jessica Jung was to be marrying the local supermarket tycoon and their lavish and expensive wedding was to be put in his hands. She had trusted him completely and he had vowed to do his very best, not only for her but for himself and his business. But now he saw how easily it could all go up in flames, and a bad reputation would be severely worse than no reputation at all. He could just imagine his father's look of disappointment, and his "I told you you should have studied harder for law school" speech. He did not relish the thought.

Yunho climbed the stairs to his apartment, heaving three heavy shopping bags against his chest. He found his keys in one of the bags and pulled them out with his teeth. Juggling the bags he managed to unlock the door and then turned and pushed it open with his backside. He almost tripped over as he stepped in. A shiny red ball resting by the front door was the culprit. Once he had put down the bags and taken off his shoes he noticed another shiny ball, a green one, lying by the kitchen door. He followed this trail of shiny balls all the way into to living room, where he found Dong-hae, sitting on the floor cross legged and decorating a Christmas tree.

"Dong-hae, I didn't know you were home. You could have let me in."

Dong-hae didn't reply. He gave Yunho an innocent look and then returned to his task.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm decorating a Christmas tree, what does it look like?"

"Ah, why don't you ever do anything useful?!" Yunho kicked one of the shiny balls towards him and made his way back to the kitchen to start unpacking his groceries.

Dong-hae called him back. "Yunho, you sound so grumpy. You really need to chill out..."

This made Yunho even angrier and he wrung his hands through his hair. "How would you ever understand! I'm the one with the stressful job, the responsible one! I have to deal with all the problems of the real world, and there you are, living in your fantasy world. Give me a break, please!"

Dong-hae smiled. "Okay Yunho. But look, it's a Christmas tree! Isn't it pretty? Now we're all festive and stuff."

Yunho couldn't help but agree, so he smiled in resignation. "Look, I'm sorry for lashing out at you like that. It's been a really hard day. I just had the pianist from my upcoming wedding cancel on me and it's too late to find a replacement."

Dong-hae's eyes widened in indignation. "Too late to find a replacement! But Yunho, you know I'm a pianist. I'll play at your wedding, problem solved."

Yunho sat down beside Dong-hae, slowly as if he was about to undertake a delicate task. He spoke gently to Dong-hae, as if speaking to a child. "I'm sorry Dong-hae, but I can't let you play this time. This is a wedding. A big, serious wedding. This isn't one of your drugged up night club sessions. I need someone really professional for this job."

Dong-hae's eyes narrowed into slits. "I had no idea you had such little faith in me. Here I am, thinking you were always supportive of my talents. And you, Yunho, you have always been like a brother to me..."

"Okay, okay!" Yunho waved both his hands in exasperation to make Dong-hae shut up. "Don't do the whole guilt trip thing with me. There is another reason I think you might not want to play at this wedding. This isn't just any wedding, this is Jessica Jung's wedding."

Dong-hae's expression immediately changed and his eyes softened. "You mean my Jessica?"

"Not your Jessica anymore, as it were. I wasn't sure what your reaction to the whole Jessica getting married thing would be, but since you've been so quiet about it these past few weeks I assumed you might be a little sensitive on the issue. And I know you have a tendency to hold onto the past."

Dong-hae stood up briskly, brushing pieces of tinsel off his animal-print shorts. "I had no idea Jessica was getting married!"

Yunho looked up at him from the floor. "Oh, so that's why you've been so quiet on the issue..."

Dong-hae began pacing up and down the room in an angry storm.

Yunho frowned. "Dong-hae, wait. How could you have not known? I've been planning this wedding for months. Do you never listen to anything I say? You even received an invitation in the mail a few weeks ago."

Dong-hae stopped pacing and he contemplated his untouched pile of letters. "You're right. I never bother to check my mail." He wandered off into the kitchen to retrieve the letters, returning with the lacy blue wedding invitation in his hand. He held it by the corner as if it were a used tissue.

"This it? Okay, let me have a look. Dear Lee Dong-hae - okay, that's me - you are cordially invited to the wedding of Jung Soo-yeon and Kim Su-- who the fuck is this?! I've never even heard of this guy."

Yunho picked himself off the ground slowly and cautiously advanced his angry friend. "He's a local businessman, Dong-hae. An upstanding member of society. You don't hang around many of those."

Dong-hae threw the invitation onto the floor. Yunho would normally have scolded him for being so careless and messy but on this occasion he felt a little sad for his friend. "Oh, how could have this happened! We were so close and now we are so far apart..." Dong-hae rubbed his face with his hands, and breathed deeply. "Oh well," he said. "At least I will have the satisfaction of playing piano at her wedding."

"Ah, ah, ah about that." Yunho cried. "I really can't let you loose on this one, Dong-hae. There's too much riding on all this. Do you know what this wedding will mean for me if everything goes well? I know you're a good player and you want to help, but I'm just not convinced you're not going to make a scene..."

"Me, make a scene? What makes you think I would do that?"

"Well... are you going to make a scene?"

Dong-hae's eyes fell to the floor. "Yeah, maybe."

"I'm really sorry. I really, really am." Yunho saw Dong-hae stand there with his hurt expression and colourful shorts and Christmas decorations. He was so painfully pathetic that it made Yunho want to avert his eyes.

"Oh well," Dong-hae said slowly as he turned to go. "It's your decision, it's your wedding to plan. Anyway, I might go finish that letter I was writing to your parents. I can tell them about how you crushed all my dreams, insulted my professionalism..."

Yunho became tense. Dong-hae's threat was a serious one. Every fortnight he would write a letter home to their families back in Mokpo. Their families had always been close, and when he and Dong-hae had moved to Seoul, Yunho had been expected to fulfill the role of older brother. Dong-hae was good with parents, and old people in general. He knew how to keep them happy with letters full of sweet nonsense and his letters home were always received with much praise. Yunho also knew from experience that whatever bad things Dong-hae said about him in these letters, would come back to him quickly and severely.

"Come back, Dong-hae. You win. You can play piano at the wedding. Just be an adult about it, okay?"

Dong-hae skipped back with a look of smug triumph on his face. He crawled onto the floor and continued his task with the Christmas tree. "An adult... sure, I'm always an adult."

* * *

Dong-hae was light footed on his way to work that evening. Learning that Jessica was back in town, and that he was to be seeing her again very soon, set his heart alight. He no longer cared that she was getting married to some stranger, for he was now entirely convinced that he could win back the hand of his one true love.

Dong-hae and Jessica's romance had occurred at the pinnacle of their youth, during the brief period of time they had studied together. Jessica had been visiting from overseas, and being merely a visitor, she was scheduled to leave and return to America at a set time. So when the time came for her to leave they had said goodbye, but they had not explicitly broken up. To Dong-hae this meant that their love was not over, it was merely incomplete. Sure, things had happened since then; they had both moved around and lost contact, veering off into different directions, but at last fate had brought them back together.

That night at the club Dong-hae played romantically and wistfully, working himself into a perfectly innocent state of pleasure. When a talking cat curled up next to him, he was none too happy to chat to it.

"Tonight is a special night," he told the cat, who was actually Kyu-hyun. "I have just found out that I will be seeing my girl again."

"Which girl is that?"

"Jessica Jung, my first and only love."

Kyu-hyun raised an eyebrow or two. "Jessica Jung, I've heard of her. Isn't she the one marrying that supermarket guy?"

"I believe so," Dong-hae replied, not stopping his playing to speak.

"Well, if that's the case, there's a good aspect and a bad aspect for you," Kyu-hyun said, putting on his wise man-about-town voice. "The bad aspect is that your only love is marrying someone else, but the good aspect is that she's filthy rich."

"What's that to me?"

"Well, she has money and you need money. You know a person with money Dong-hae! That's great news for you."

Dong-hae struck a few flat chords and stopped playing. "Are you suggesting that I ask Jessica for money? I could never! I would rather die of shame..."

"Or die of something else, if you don't repay your debt to Pak very soon."

Dong-hae's brow became creased. "Why all this tough talk from you, Kyu-hyun?"

"I was sent to collect. I need to collect, Dong-hae. You know the rules."

"Ah, but what's a few million won to Pak anyway? He already has more than he needs."

Kyu-hyun placed both hands on Dong-hae's shoulders, as if ready to shake him. "Nobody cheats Pak and gets away with it. That's just not how the system works. I'm telling you all this because I'm your friend. Now you don't want Pak's thugs coming round here and reminding you again, do you?"

"Guess not..." Dong-hae scratched his head in frustration. "Damn it, Kyu-hyun! You've ruined the mood. I've completely lost where I was up to on the piano..."

Kyu-hyun shrugged and disappeared back into the sweaty crowd.

* * *

On Christmas eve, Yunho had a meeting with Jessica and Kim and he decided to bring Dong-hae along as an experiment. If all went well on this particular evening, perhaps he could let go of his anxieties. If it all went badly, he would have something to talk about in his letters back home.

Dong-hae didn't arrive at the scheduled time. Yunho pressed his hands together awkwardly. "We had a bit of a nuisance with the musicians, I'm afraid," he began explaining to the couple, "A pianist pulled out due to injury and so I've organised a replacement at last minute. I invited him tonight, just to meet him, in case you had any objections. He's not here now though... he uh, should be along shortly."

"Oh well, never mind him," Jessica said flatly as she opened the booklet Yunho had passed her. "We don't really need to discuss anything with the musicians. Let's just go over the seating plan one more time..."

Just as they had become locked in conversation, Dong-hae arrived at the table, eliciting a gasp of surprise from Jessica. He was dressed nicely in a suit, but his tie was crooked and his buttons appeared to be done up wrong. Yunho groaned inwardly.

Jessica rose from her seat and her fiance slowly followed her. Dong-hae bowed to them both, then taking Jessica's hand and kissing it. She was still too surprised to react. He then turned back to Mr. Kim, greeting him again by taking both his hands.

"Ah, Mr. Kim! I am so glad to meet you at last. Jessica and I are old friends, and it is a privilege to play piano at your wedding."

Jessica sat down quickly and returned to her meeting with Yunho. Out of the corner of her eye she could see that Kim and Dong-hae were engaged in warm conversation. She wasn't quite sure what to make of it.

"I had no idea that you and Dong-hae were still living together."

Yunho chuckled. "Ah yes, I can't seem to shake him."

"It's nice though," she murmured vaguely. "I haven't seen him in a long time."

They returned to discussing the seating plan, then touched briefly on the menu. There were a few technical matters that needed to be attended to - the dispersion of the in-laws and then the correct portions of food, but apart from all that Jessica was surprisingly unfazed by the general aspects of the wedding. "Whatever you think is best, Yunho," she said simply.

Kim and Dong-hae returned to them shortly after.

"If you are happy with the music, then I think that will be all."

Kim clapped his hands together. "Very good, it's all sorted! We'll see you at the rehearsal then."

The company all stood and began parting ways. Just as Yunho and Dong-hae were leaving, Jessica impulsively called Dong-hae back. He gave her an optimistic smile.

"Your shirt... the buttons are done up wrong."

Dong-hae laughed. "Oh you're right. I hadn't even noticed." He immediately began undoing the buttons on his shirt and Jessica averted her eyes in embarrassment. Yunho came to pull him away just in time to avoid a public nudity scandal. Jessica couldn't help but laugh.

"What an affable character," Kim said of Dong-hae as he and Jessica were making their way home. "What does a young man like that do with himself these days? I suppose he is a university student."

"At his age I doubt it," Jessica said as she rested her head on the car window. "He must be at least 27 by now."

Kim frowned. "That old? Then why did he keep referring to me as uncle?"

Jessica fought back a smile.

Kim continued: "I say, why don't you invite him to come along tonight?"

Jessica sat up straight, her eyes wide. "The Christmas eve party? Why on earth would I do that?"

"You can introduce him to Yuri. She doesn't have a date. It's no good not having a date on Christmas eve..."

"Oh right." Jessica slumped back again. "I guess I could. I don't think she'll like him, but I guess it's worth a try."

Later, Jessica stood alone in the hall, rolling her phone over and over in her hand. Something seemed wrong about seeing Dong-hae today. He seemed too happy, too relaxed about everything. Surely there would have been some tension, what with all that had and hadn't happened between them. Then again, perhaps she flattered herself. She dialed his number.

"Hello? Are you busy tonight? Come to our Christmas party. Don't bring anyone, I'll introduce you to my friend."

He responded in a fairly monotonous fashion, but she thought little of it. Her only thought was that she would be seeing him again very soon and for some reason that gave her a sense of unease.

* * *

That evening at the party, Jessica and Yuri sipped wine by the window and spoke softly, waiting for the guest who had not yet arrived.

"I'm curious," Yuri confessed, "as to why you are choosing to reacquaint yourself with an old lover at a time like this."

"I never said he was an old lover."

"Yes but your eyes said it." Yuri smirked as Jessica blushed.

"It was not my choice to reacquaint myself with him anyway. He just showed up today, and I invited him here for the sake of politeness. And for your sake."

Yuri rolled her eyes. "Sure you did."

When Dong-hae arrived, Yuri didn't need an introduction; she could tell who he was from the sudden change in Jessica's manner, and his generally dazed and out of place demeanor. He was wearing a suit, but it didn't fit him well. As soon as they had greeted each other, he made his way over to the Christmas tree, to stare at the flashing lights.

"I like Christmas trees," he explained to Yuri, who wore an amused expression. She could see how Mr. Kim had mistaken him for a teenager. He had the face and body of a man, but had a distinctive aura of youth, and he smiled with delight as the lights on the tree changed colour. Yuri was keen to speak to him alone; not that she had any designs on him, rather she expected that he would have many interesting things to say regarding the imminent wedding. Once they had been at the party for a reasonable amount of time, she asked him to step outside with her.

He agreed to her invitation without any hesitation and they stepped outside together into the cold night. Yuri pulled her fluffy coat over her dress, as her tiny heels clicked on the pavement. Dong-hae seemed happy, but vague, and he spun around in circles as he tried to spot the stars in the sky.

"What is it you do for a living? I don't think you told me." Yuri tired to command his attention back.

"Sure I told you. I'm a pianist."

Yuri smiled halfheartedly. "Yes, I think you did tell me that. But I didn't believe you. You don't look like a pianist... you have small hands."

Dong-hae did not seem offended at all. "Being a pianist isn't about the size of your hands, it's about what's in your heart and mind. I don't mind if you don't believe me, but you will surely be shocked when you hear me play at the wedding."

"Hmm, about the wedding." Yuri skipped, so she and Dong-hae were side by side. "Are you pleased to see your old friend getting married?"

"Not at all pleased. But I will be playing piano, so I won't have to see it. I will keep my eyes shut tight the whole time."

"Oh, really, it bothers you so much?"

"It's distasteful you know, the thought of Jessica being with that wheezy old man. And she will have to sleep with him every night, have his children and so on. It gets worse and worse. Just thinking about it makes me sick!"

Yuri's eyes were narrowed. "Why don't you do something about it? I hope you don't mind me being so forward, but it seems that you and her had something going on. Perhaps you could let her know how you are feeling, before it's too late."

"Had something going on? Of course, I was her first true love."

Yuri laughed, but Dong-hae seemed unfazed. "Jessica told me that she'd never been in love."

"Well, that's wrong. She had me."

"Yes, well, I suspected she was lying."

Dong-hae suddenly ducked away into an alley and Yuri cautiously followed. When they came out at the other end she realised that they had entered a dangerous part of the city.

"Where are you taking me?" she asked him.

Dong-hae shrugged. "It's just where I always go. There's a place nearby here where I play piano most nights. It's a jazz fusion kinda place, where all the cool cats go."

Yuri could see a couple of women standing on the balcony across the road. It may have been her imagination, but they seemed to be laughing at her. She glared at them with narrowed eyes.

"I don't come this way very often. I'd rather not stay long."

Before Dong-hae could reply, a motorcycle pulled up beside them and a grisly man stepped off. He approached them and Yuri stepped back involuntarily, fearing that they were about to be mugged. However, the man ignored her, going straight for Dong-hae and sinking a blow to his stomach. Dong-hae doubled over in pain, but stood up shortly after.

"How dare you, you bastard!" he croaked. "What the fuck was that for?"

"Message from Pak," the man said. "You have three days. Then you die."

With that the mysterious man mounted his motorcycle and rode off into the night. Yuri rushed over to Dong-hae, who was now standing upright and straightening his jacket.

"Are you okay?" she said, breathlessly holding onto his arm.

"Sure I'm fine. It was just a little knock."

They began walking again, back down the alley way and away from the dangerous part of town. Yuri was not satisfied with his answer.

"What was that about having three days? Three days for what?"

"Oh, it's just some money I owe. I'm a bit late with it this time..."

"Money, what sort of money? Are you doing dealings with the mafia?"

"I don't know! A few million won, okay? I lost it somehow. At the dog races, I think..."

Yuri stared at him, her mouth hanging open. He walked ahead in frustration, as if he was suddenly disturbed by her presence. He escorted her as far as Jessica's house and then continued walking, off into the distance street. Yuri watched him for a while, but gave up eventually, turning to go back inside.

Inside, the house was quiet. The party was over, and most of the guests had gone. Yuri found Jessica standing alone in the living room; the lights were dimmed and only the lights of the Christmas tree illuminated her face. As she came closer, she noticed that Jessica's eyes were red, but she couldn't tell if it was from drinking or from crying.

"Sica..." she said softly, and put a hand out for her friend. Jessica turned away slightly.

"Ah, you're back. I was wondering whether you would be coming back tonight. Did you have a nice time? With him?"

Yuri winced at the accusing tone in her voice.

"Sica, I have something important to tell you. Please listen to me." Yuri stepped even closer and offered her hand again.

"Go on, then." Jessica swayed slightly as she turned back to Yuri. Perhaps she was drunk.

"I think you're doing the right thing," Yuri said at last, and then taking a deep breath: "...by marrying Kim. I just want to say that I'm sorry I questioned you, and that I am fully on your side. Whatever you choose, I will support you."

Jessica stared at Yuri for a long time, saying nothing. At last Yuri saw her eyes darken, and she pushed past, leaving the room without saying a word.

* * *

At the wedding rehearsal Jessica was unhappy and distracted. Short of temper, she snapped at various people: her mother, her aunties, Kim's aunties and a little girl carrying flowers. The groom, who was desensitised to any tantrums thrown by Jessica, stood forward to console his stressed-out, tearful bride.

"Please don't cry, darling," he said to her. "Everything is going well, and you have nothing to worry about. I urge you to rest your mind! You know I like nothing more than to see my princess smile..."

Jessica stared at him blankly for a few moments, with no intention of smiling, but she found that she couldn't help herself when the music began to play.

"My favourite song!" she said, smiling at her fiance and completely ignoring the little girl she had just been yelling at. "How did you know?"

Kim's mouth made a line, and his eyes fell to the floor. He didn't need to answer, because Jessica realised when she turned around and saw Dong-hae sitting at the piano.

"Of course, it's you..." she murmured. Jessica was so busy deciding whether this encounter would be disastrous or wonderful to notice that a small dog had made it's way into the hall and was running at full speed towards Kim. He shrieked and Jessica came back to her senses.

"How did that get it here? Get it out, at once!"

Dong-hae intercepted the dog and pulled it into his arms before it could reach its intended target. Kim ran into the back to find his inhaler.

Dong-hae chuckled, still holding the dog. "Your fiance doesn't like animals then?"

Jessica narrowed her eyes in frustration. "He's asthmatic you idiot. You knew that didn't you? You did, of course you did! You let it in on purpose!"

He shrugged, slightly. "It's just a stray. I'll take it away if you like. I meant him no harm, really. Mr. Kim is a very nice man. But of course I have to say that I hate him. How could I possibly feel anything else for him when he is marrying you? Although, if I am to be honest, my rival is at something of a disadvantage: just look at him! That wheezy, old asthmatic. Ha! It would be funny if it wasn't so tragic."

Jessica took a deep breath. She was so angry, she couldn't even bring herself to speak. Dong-hae began to leave with the dog still in his grasp, and she followed him out.

"I know that you have no love for him," Dong-hae said, fully aware that Jessica was still beside him. "I've heard that you've decided that you don't need love, and that you don't even know what it is. Well... I think you're lying."

"Is that so?"

Dong-hae gave her a childish smile, one that was so familiar to her. "You ought to admit that you still love me. Preferably before you go get married."

"Love you? I haven't seen you for years. Stop making a fool of yourself!"

"I am not the one making a fool of myself!" Dong-hae raised his voice and the dog gave a nervous bark. "You are getting into a sham marriage for the sake of money and privilege. But what will you do every night when you feel his wheezy breath on your neck? Will you think of me then? I hope you don't, the disappointment would weigh on you."

Jessica drew another deep breath and finally decided to send him on his way. "Go home," she said, "and when you see Yunho, tell him that I've decided that I don't want a pianist for my wedding. Tell him to bring a cd player."

Dong-hae smiled cheerfully, in a way that seemed to be mocking her. "My prediction is that you will change your mind. We will see each other again, before midnight tonight. You know where I will be. See you then, my love!"

* * *

That night the sun set over Jessica's troubled mind and before she knew it, she was putting her shoes back on.

There was no use in sitting at home idly, wondering what might have been, or what is still to come. She quickly realised that going back to him was an inevitability; like a prophecy that needed to be fulfilled. She knew now that she could not go through with her marriage while there was still a flicker of doubt in her mind. She knew as well as he did that what they had started had never been properly finished, so their love was not over, merely incomplete. She needed it to be over. How simple it sounded, yet how disastrously complicated it would turn out to be!

There was a drum beat behind her eyes as she walked down the moonlit street. Her feet walked in time with it, even as the beating became faster and louder. She still wore the diamond pendant around her neck, since she had been wearing it every day since Kim had given it to her. Tonight it felt uncomfortably heavy, as if pulling her down.

She knew where to go, since she had asked Yunho for the address two days ago and had stored it away in the back of her mind. There was a hall, then steps that took her down to a hot little room, packed with people of all different flavours, the weird ones who only come out at night. By now she could hear the sound of the music, and when she finally saw him, sitting at the piano, oblivious to the clutter around him, the drum beat stopped. She stood still for a few moments, now that her temporary need had been fulfilled. The music was eccentric, she thought, though passionate and fevered. She didn't know much about jazz, but somehow she could tell that this was what it was supposed to sound like.

Slowly, so slowly, she made her way over. She pulled up a stool, and sat patiently, since he wasn't finished and he hadn't noticed her yet. When he finally finished his song, he paused to look up at her, with an expression that wasn't at all surprised.

"Did you like it?" he asked her.

"I did," she said. "It's music with great character. You can almost feel it."

"Did you feel it? What did you feel?"

"A passion, and something building. A building anger perhaps? Or desire?"

"Anticipation." He played a swelling interlude, to emphasise his point.

"What will you play next? Something different?"

"Yeah, something different."

He edged over across his seat, so that he could press his hand between her legs. He pressed his thumb against the cotton of her stockings and her breath hitched.

"To be honest, I didn't suspect we would spend much time talking about music. I guessed you had other things on your mind."

"Ah, but this is about music." He pressed into her again, his fingers making a pattern. He gave her an innocent smile.

"Okay," she said, pushing his hand away and readjusting her skirt. "Let's do what you want. But not here."

An hour later they had each other in an anonymous room in a shifty looking building. Jessica liked it, a place like this ought to be dirty she thought, but as she slowly undressed she could feel the weight of the pendant hanging heavier than ever, the sum of all her guilt.

Dong-hae noticed it as he kissed her neck, and he gently lifted it with his hand. "What is it?" he asked.

"It's a diamond pendant. Probably worth more money than you've ever seen."

He chuckled. "It's ugly." He bit at the latch on the base of her neck, and the pendant came free, falling into his hand. She was relieved to have the weight gone, but she now felt entirely naked, and not sure whether she should attempt to cover some part of herself. But it was too late anyway: he had already attached himself to her, and they were closer than ever. It never used to be like this, she thought. We were never close like this.

But this was the final piece of the puzzle, she realised. This is what needed to happen. She rubbed her face into his hair, which smelled of smoke and candy canes, then threw her head up again, staring at the ceiling and a clock on the wall. A fluorescent light flickered from somewhere, and its gentle humming filled her ears. The drum beat had started again, and now it was building up, like the swell of a symphony. This was everything now, he was everything! It was as if they were an extension of each other, and an extension of their normal selves. Right in that moment she couldn't even remember what normal life felt like. The drum beat became faster and faster and through tears, she cried, "I love you!" and then it stopped.

The lighted hummed. Her chest was heaving and her heart was still beating fervently. Beside her Dong-hae was asleep. She pried herself out from under his heavy arm, and went to go find the light switch. She considered leaving, but it was late, and she had already come this far. She returned to the heat of the bed and fell asleep.

When she awoke the next morning, Dong-hae was gone. She didn't think much of it. It was only when she was piecing together the last of her clothes that realised that the pendant was also gone.

Walking home, Jessica thought that for the first time she understood the meaning of a broken heart.

* * *

Kim found his bride-to-be in a pitiful state. Her face was red and streaked with ugly marks, and yet the sight of her softened his heart.

"My darling, what is the matter? Has something happened? Are you okay?"

Jessica was slow to reply. She looked around the room, as if summoning inspiration. "The pendant," she said at last, "is gone. I was so careless, and it got stolen."

Kim said nothing.

"I'll understand if you're mad, if you hate me even! You said that something so valuable was only fitting to a woman of worth, so clearly I am not worthy." As soon as she had finished speaking, she descended into a fit of sobs. Kim immediately ran to her side and held her in a firm embrace.

"Please, don't cry! It's only a necklace; a meaningless piece of metal. You are what's truly valuable. I had no idea it meant so much to you. How about we go to the police? Tell them what happened, and maybe you can get it back."

Jessica nodded sheepishly. "You are too kind," she said, so softly that Kim didn't hear it.

* * *

"I guess that was pretty low," Yuri said, once Jessica had finished explaining what had happened. The two women were engaging in their old time ritual of secretly smoking on the balcony. Jessica hadn't done it in quite a while; last year she had promised Yuri that she would quit. But here they were again.

"You know he had to pay back some gangsters," Yuri added. "They were going to kill him."

Jessica briefly checked whether there was anyone on the landing below before she casually flicked ash onto the pavement.

"It doesn't matter," she said. For a moment she thought she could hear the sound of drums, a rapid fan fare in the distance. She looked up and realised that it was only the first drops of rain hitting against the flat roof.

"I never liked that necklace anyway."

The end.