jambo are you jambo
you just cant have everything, i guess.
my mom wants me to go home for the weekend (again) but i dont think i really want to, though i dont really have a better reason than "i dont want to see my parents". me and vanessa were going to go out on saturday but its not like a big enough deal that i cant reschedule. though she did want to go to the moma like all day.... which honestly would have been nice. and yeah ola is home from school but thats barely motivating me enough to go- i miss her but its exhausting to be around my family. ive had such a hard two weeks that its starting to be normal that i get home at 8, 830 at night from work. on the one hand i feel sorta... proud of myself? i wear it like a badge, like look at me i'm so hardcore, im so intense, im a great worker. but then on the other hand i feel like im just having self, self indulgent feelings, and that at the end of the day it doesnt matter HOW long i stay. its possible that im also getting my lady-week because i feel super emotional, but really- im so mentally exhausted. i just want to sleep forever and never have anyone wake me up or bother me.
i told my dad i would text him
allison mentioned us going up to geneseo for formal, but im scared to go for two reasons: its like a hundred bucks to go, and i have a very strong feeling ill smoke. btw ive quit, and im on like day 13, so i dont want to risk it. idk idk idk
me and sam had a minor AIM altercation, where he accused me of ignoring him. i told him that in order to ignore someone, they need to try to talk to you first. its almost funny watching someone try to manipulate you-- he accused me that IM the bad person, and that somehow he was heartbroken. at one point i just wanted to tell him that i knew he didnt miss me that he just missed the fact that i put out. well, fuck him. the conversation petered out, but im happy to think that its over. ive been talking to this other guy, rob, and he seems pretty cool- though we were supposed to have our first date yesterday - he texted me like midday saying that he picked up an extra shift at work and he wont be able to hang out (hes an EMT). i guess i believe him, i texted him today and he wasnt super responsive, and his shift ended at 7 am this morning so i somewhat understand. but i also think im tired of doing the chasing, and he knows where to find me.
im going to take some benedryl and pass out
my mom wants me to go home for the weekend (again) but i dont think i really want to, though i dont really have a better reason than "i dont want to see my parents". me and vanessa were going to go out on saturday but its not like a big enough deal that i cant reschedule. though she did want to go to the moma like all day.... which honestly would have been nice. and yeah ola is home from school but thats barely motivating me enough to go- i miss her but its exhausting to be around my family. ive had such a hard two weeks that its starting to be normal that i get home at 8, 830 at night from work. on the one hand i feel sorta... proud of myself? i wear it like a badge, like look at me i'm so hardcore, im so intense, im a great worker. but then on the other hand i feel like im just having self, self indulgent feelings, and that at the end of the day it doesnt matter HOW long i stay. its possible that im also getting my lady-week because i feel super emotional, but really- im so mentally exhausted. i just want to sleep forever and never have anyone wake me up or bother me.
i told my dad i would text him
allison mentioned us going up to geneseo for formal, but im scared to go for two reasons: its like a hundred bucks to go, and i have a very strong feeling ill smoke. btw ive quit, and im on like day 13, so i dont want to risk it. idk idk idk
me and sam had a minor AIM altercation, where he accused me of ignoring him. i told him that in order to ignore someone, they need to try to talk to you first. its almost funny watching someone try to manipulate you-- he accused me that IM the bad person, and that somehow he was heartbroken. at one point i just wanted to tell him that i knew he didnt miss me that he just missed the fact that i put out. well, fuck him. the conversation petered out, but im happy to think that its over. ive been talking to this other guy, rob, and he seems pretty cool- though we were supposed to have our first date yesterday - he texted me like midday saying that he picked up an extra shift at work and he wont be able to hang out (hes an EMT). i guess i believe him, i texted him today and he wasnt super responsive, and his shift ended at 7 am this morning so i somewhat understand. but i also think im tired of doing the chasing, and he knows where to find me.
im going to take some benedryl and pass out