35 (video)
[The recording begins with a rather sideways view of a table. On that table is a partially-eaten piece of cake and a photograph. It looks somewhat like this:
Penny, off-camera, appears to be in the middle of a very quiet conversation--a good indication that this is an accidental post (the camera angle was a decent clue, as well). It becomes apparent that the network device has turned on at one of those embarrassingly inconvenient times, as happens so often.]
--a total surprise to me. It was really sweet, though, you know? It's nice having friends like that. Oh, and plus? Ducks. I know I told you all about the ducks, but I saw the ones from before today and I think they remember me. Or maybe they were just friendly because I was feeding them, but it was a fuzzy feeling anyway. Best party ever. And, yeah, only party since I was five, but still the best.
...I still missed you guys and everyone else. That didn't go away, but it was an okay kind of missing, like... I don't know. Like I could handle it and still be happy.
That's what I really want you to know, I guess--that I'm happy. For a while there I didn't know if being completely happy here was even possible, but after the party and all of that thinking time this weekend... well. It is, definitely. That doesn't mean that it's not sad to think about everyone who isn't around anymore or that I think the world's a perfect place where no one's hurting... and I'm still afraid of some things--certain people leaving, and me leaving the City someday. There're some things that'll never be okay, but for now? I can accept all of those things and I can be happy. Not fake-happy or completely-in-denial happy, because neither of those really count. Really, truly, okay-with-life-even-the-parts-that-suck happy.
It's funny--funny weird, not funny hilarious--that I'm happier now than I was for my last birthday, or even the birthdays before that. And last year should've been amazing! I was still alive, Billy was around, Hammer was completely into me, I was making all kinds of new friends... but a lot happens in a year, especially in a place with crazy gods and man-eating sheep, and I know that that wasn't totally real. This is.
I guess I can't explain it, exactly--what the difference is. I think it has something to do with friends and finding a purpose and all of those other Hallmark-movie things. Maybe dying just puts things into perspective. Whatever it is, it's good.
[There's a pause.]
I miss you both like you wouldn't believe. That won't ever change. But you know what I think? I really believe I'll see you guys someday and we'll get to have a real dinner together. Maybe you'll get to meet my friends, too.
Speaking of...
[The scene moves quickly as Penny picks the device up and examines it. If she notices that it's recording, she ignores it quite well. The feed switches over to audio.]
Hey! I know you're all probably tired of hearing it, but thanks to everyone who came to the party. It was incredible--so incredible that I think there should be other big parties before my next birthday. Who needs a reason to party, right?
I opened the presents. Really, you guys're amazing. Cruelty-free everything, wine and chocolate for the rest of forever, new music to try out, mechanical ducks... okay, one mechanical duck, but that's all a girl needs. I can't wait to see what Doris thinks of it, but it's too late to take it for a test drive without accidentally waking everyone up. That was the best birthday I've ever had--no exaggeration. It meant way, way more than I can tell you without resorting to ballads or bad poetry or something.
So thank you. I couldn't've asked for more.
[ooc: Backdated to the 20th. <3]
Penny, off-camera, appears to be in the middle of a very quiet conversation--a good indication that this is an accidental post (the camera angle was a decent clue, as well). It becomes apparent that the network device has turned on at one of those embarrassingly inconvenient times, as happens so often.]
--a total surprise to me. It was really sweet, though, you know? It's nice having friends like that. Oh, and plus? Ducks. I know I told you all about the ducks, but I saw the ones from before today and I think they remember me. Or maybe they were just friendly because I was feeding them, but it was a fuzzy feeling anyway. Best party ever. And, yeah, only party since I was five, but still the best.
...I still missed you guys and everyone else. That didn't go away, but it was an okay kind of missing, like... I don't know. Like I could handle it and still be happy.
That's what I really want you to know, I guess--that I'm happy. For a while there I didn't know if being completely happy here was even possible, but after the party and all of that thinking time this weekend... well. It is, definitely. That doesn't mean that it's not sad to think about everyone who isn't around anymore or that I think the world's a perfect place where no one's hurting... and I'm still afraid of some things--certain people leaving, and me leaving the City someday. There're some things that'll never be okay, but for now? I can accept all of those things and I can be happy. Not fake-happy or completely-in-denial happy, because neither of those really count. Really, truly, okay-with-life-even-the-parts-that-suck happy.
It's funny--funny weird, not funny hilarious--that I'm happier now than I was for my last birthday, or even the birthdays before that. And last year should've been amazing! I was still alive, Billy was around, Hammer was completely into me, I was making all kinds of new friends... but a lot happens in a year, especially in a place with crazy gods and man-eating sheep, and I know that that wasn't totally real. This is.
I guess I can't explain it, exactly--what the difference is. I think it has something to do with friends and finding a purpose and all of those other Hallmark-movie things. Maybe dying just puts things into perspective. Whatever it is, it's good.
[There's a pause.]
I miss you both like you wouldn't believe. That won't ever change. But you know what I think? I really believe I'll see you guys someday and we'll get to have a real dinner together. Maybe you'll get to meet my friends, too.
Speaking of...
[The scene moves quickly as Penny picks the device up and examines it. If she notices that it's recording, she ignores it quite well. The feed switches over to audio.]
Hey! I know you're all probably tired of hearing it, but thanks to everyone who came to the party. It was incredible--so incredible that I think there should be other big parties before my next birthday. Who needs a reason to party, right?
I opened the presents. Really, you guys're amazing. Cruelty-free everything, wine and chocolate for the rest of forever, new music to try out, mechanical ducks... okay, one mechanical duck, but that's all a girl needs. I can't wait to see what Doris thinks of it, but it's too late to take it for a test drive without accidentally waking everyone up. That was the best birthday I've ever had--no exaggeration. It meant way, way more than I can tell you without resorting to ballads or bad poetry or something.
So thank you. I couldn't've asked for more.
[ooc: Backdated to the 20th. <3]