34 (audio)
Happy just-over-one-year-in-the-City, me. At first it didn't seem like it'd been that long, but after I thought about it for a while...
[She trails off thoughtfully. A sheep baas.]
Well. It's hard to keep track of time here sometimes. It doesn't feel like the sheep've been around for a month, either, but they have. Sheep? Not the best pets. It's about time to find somewhere safe for these guys to go now that no one's after them.
Speaking of sheep, what about the sheep-plants? They're kind of adorable, I think. I don't get why there're sheep-plants, but I guess it's not too surprising with all of the other weirdness that happens here. Some people've been saying that there's something strange about the sheep. I've only seen them wandering around outside, but they look perfectly normal and sheepy. Very cute. I saw one with little black spots around dinner time. The rescue sheep seem kind of antsy, though. Maybe the sheep-plants mean something?
[A long pause. Just when it seems as if someone forgot to turn off her network device--]
A whole year. Wow.
It never gets any easier to have people leave. You'd think it would, right? After a year here?
Sorrow's gone. I'm not sure when he actually left. I didn't get worried right away... he disappears for a few days at a time sometimes. His portrait's in the Hall, though, along with all the others. Billy, Devon, Tohru, Minatsuki, Kay, Xavin, Connor, Robin, Naomi, Kate, Emma... the list's too long. When I'm really busy, I forget how much I miss them all. There hasn't been much to do with the rain and everything, so there's been a lot of time to think.
It'd be easier to stay away from people, but what kind of life is that? It's got to be better to care about people and lose them than to avoid them completely, right? I did the avoidy thing for a while years and years ago and it was awful. The situation wasn't the same since people weren't coming and going like they do here, but...
I was talking to Rosella yesterday. She thinks that we might all see each other again after the City, and I hope she's right. I used to believe that I'd see my parents, at least--I don't know about the whole Judeo-Christian heaven thing, but I could go for a nice, accepting, secular heaven--but what about everyone else? Or what if there isn't a heaven at all? I don't want to tell anyone, but I'm worried about what happens after the City. I don't know what I believe in or if I really believe in anything. The City could be it, and that scares me a lot more than I want it to.
But thinking about it won't change whatever's going to happen, so I just have to hope for the best and tell myself that I'll see everyone again. That's the only way to live here without going crazy, I think.
That curse last month--the one where everyone got to be alive again--was really nice. It's funny how much you miss the dumb things that you never notice when you're alive... being warm, having a heartbeat. I almost think that the clock ticks louder when there's no heartbeat.
[ooc: She will not believe you if you tell her that the sheep are evil. Sheep are her friends. And the entry is hackable to anyone with some code-breaking know-how; Penny's getting better with codes, but she's not much of a techie.]
[She trails off thoughtfully. A sheep baas.]
Well. It's hard to keep track of time here sometimes. It doesn't feel like the sheep've been around for a month, either, but they have. Sheep? Not the best pets. It's about time to find somewhere safe for these guys to go now that no one's after them.
Speaking of sheep, what about the sheep-plants? They're kind of adorable, I think. I don't get why there're sheep-plants, but I guess it's not too surprising with all of the other weirdness that happens here. Some people've been saying that there's something strange about the sheep. I've only seen them wandering around outside, but they look perfectly normal and sheepy. Very cute. I saw one with little black spots around dinner time. The rescue sheep seem kind of antsy, though. Maybe the sheep-plants mean something?
[A long pause. Just when it seems as if someone forgot to turn off her network device--]
A whole year. Wow.
It never gets any easier to have people leave. You'd think it would, right? After a year here?
Sorrow's gone. I'm not sure when he actually left. I didn't get worried right away... he disappears for a few days at a time sometimes. His portrait's in the Hall, though, along with all the others. Billy, Devon, Tohru, Minatsuki, Kay, Xavin, Connor, Robin, Naomi, Kate, Emma... the list's too long. When I'm really busy, I forget how much I miss them all. There hasn't been much to do with the rain and everything, so there's been a lot of time to think.
It'd be easier to stay away from people, but what kind of life is that? It's got to be better to care about people and lose them than to avoid them completely, right? I did the avoidy thing for a while years and years ago and it was awful. The situation wasn't the same since people weren't coming and going like they do here, but...
I was talking to Rosella yesterday. She thinks that we might all see each other again after the City, and I hope she's right. I used to believe that I'd see my parents, at least--I don't know about the whole Judeo-Christian heaven thing, but I could go for a nice, accepting, secular heaven--but what about everyone else? Or what if there isn't a heaven at all? I don't want to tell anyone, but I'm worried about what happens after the City. I don't know what I believe in or if I really believe in anything. The City could be it, and that scares me a lot more than I want it to.
But thinking about it won't change whatever's going to happen, so I just have to hope for the best and tell myself that I'll see everyone again. That's the only way to live here without going crazy, I think.
That curse last month--the one where everyone got to be alive again--was really nice. It's funny how much you miss the dumb things that you never notice when you're alive... being warm, having a heartbeat. I almost think that the clock ticks louder when there's no heartbeat.
[ooc: She will not believe you if you tell her that the sheep are evil. Sheep are her friends. And the entry is hackable to anyone with some code-breaking know-how; Penny's getting better with codes, but she's not much of a techie.]