The strings that intertwine
It pains me. But no words leave my mouth. My thoughts are tangled up, like a mesh of fine wire, and they lead nowhere. There's synapses between every phrase and every sentence, but I can't make the connections, no matter how simple they get.
Actually, I don't even need to use words to describe how I feel. But I'll try.
What is family? To some, it's a refuge they seek when a day of tiredness and hopelessness eventually comes to an end. To others, it can be their pillar, a counsellor whom which they turn to when troubles keep crashing in on them, like seas that are forever in high tides. Family is like a thread - strong enough to keep everyone together, but easily severed by the blows of disagreements, disappointment, or simply circumstances. But one thing I am definitely sure of - my family is definitely more important than my own comfort.
This Vesak Day, my grandmother moved into my house to stay the weekend. Not long ago she went for an operation to restore her eyesight, but there were complications and she eventually contracted retinal detachment. But isn't it obvious that a frail woman who has suffered from diabetes for years runs the risk of having from eyesight problems?
My uncle, aunt and grandfather lives with her. So why did she have to travel all the way from Yishun, to our house, to stay? Because she has been abandoned. Nobody was aware that she went for the operation to treat her retina, besides my mom, of course. Nobody even cared about handling her bills. Instead, the responsibility was pushed around. Let alone her bills - nobody even bothered to take her home from the hospital! Every family member is so engrossed with their own problems, and blinded by their everyday situations, such that they forget about the person who's supposedly one of the most important in their lives. It's safe to say that only my mother has been filial all along.
My mother has been the daughter who has been providing my grandmother with the emotional support she required. Always hosting her whenever she comes over the weekends by treating her to dinners and spending time with her no matter how busy her work can get (trust me, her workload is the definition of heavy) - that's not something my grandmother usually gets. Even if she asks for it, she won't. And because of this, I really look up to her. Both my parents, basically. They're really worthy of my admiration, and I will really try to not let them down, just like they haven't been letting their parents down.
I can see that my grandmother has gone cold, from her eyes and the way she speaks about her family problems, like someone who has given up on long ago and simply recalling the scarring memories. I can really sense that dust has finally collected on her heart. Her efforts have always gone unappreciated. Why do my family members always choose to regret only after everything's said and done?
I'm not the most filial grandson around, I admit. But at the very least, I spared a thought for her.
Actually, I don't even need to use words to describe how I feel. But I'll try.
What is family? To some, it's a refuge they seek when a day of tiredness and hopelessness eventually comes to an end. To others, it can be their pillar, a counsellor whom which they turn to when troubles keep crashing in on them, like seas that are forever in high tides. Family is like a thread - strong enough to keep everyone together, but easily severed by the blows of disagreements, disappointment, or simply circumstances. But one thing I am definitely sure of - my family is definitely more important than my own comfort.
This Vesak Day, my grandmother moved into my house to stay the weekend. Not long ago she went for an operation to restore her eyesight, but there were complications and she eventually contracted retinal detachment. But isn't it obvious that a frail woman who has suffered from diabetes for years runs the risk of having from eyesight problems?
My uncle, aunt and grandfather lives with her. So why did she have to travel all the way from Yishun, to our house, to stay? Because she has been abandoned. Nobody was aware that she went for the operation to treat her retina, besides my mom, of course. Nobody even cared about handling her bills. Instead, the responsibility was pushed around. Let alone her bills - nobody even bothered to take her home from the hospital! Every family member is so engrossed with their own problems, and blinded by their everyday situations, such that they forget about the person who's supposedly one of the most important in their lives. It's safe to say that only my mother has been filial all along.
My mother has been the daughter who has been providing my grandmother with the emotional support she required. Always hosting her whenever she comes over the weekends by treating her to dinners and spending time with her no matter how busy her work can get (trust me, her workload is the definition of heavy) - that's not something my grandmother usually gets. Even if she asks for it, she won't. And because of this, I really look up to her. Both my parents, basically. They're really worthy of my admiration, and I will really try to not let them down, just like they haven't been letting their parents down.
I can see that my grandmother has gone cold, from her eyes and the way she speaks about her family problems, like someone who has given up on long ago and simply recalling the scarring memories. I can really sense that dust has finally collected on her heart. Her efforts have always gone unappreciated. Why do my family members always choose to regret only after everything's said and done?
I'm not the most filial grandson around, I admit. But at the very least, I spared a thought for her.