I need an outlet
It's the lack of friendships/relationships in my life in which I have to talk in here. It's only when my hormones are racing that I stop and realize how alone I am. Otherwise I shake off the feeling because it seems normal. I've only had small glimpses of what it's like to not be alone.
I have deep rooted issues with affection. I wish this was something I could fix with the snap of A finger, but I don't trust anyone. I don't believe in what anyone says. I have never cuddled with a guy friend or otherwise and he didn't have a boner. If I let things happen, I am subconciously trying to destroy any sort of friendship/relationship. I try to avoid this situation all together, but sometimes I fall into the trap of thinking he could be it. Not like THE ONE or anything, but someone I could get serious with. Someone to occupy my time with. I'm devoted. I always give more than what the other person needs. Too understanding, never seeming needy.
I just want your warm body to lay next to, nothing more.
I have deep rooted issues with affection. I wish this was something I could fix with the snap of A finger, but I don't trust anyone. I don't believe in what anyone says. I have never cuddled with a guy friend or otherwise and he didn't have a boner. If I let things happen, I am subconciously trying to destroy any sort of friendship/relationship. I try to avoid this situation all together, but sometimes I fall into the trap of thinking he could be it. Not like THE ONE or anything, but someone I could get serious with. Someone to occupy my time with. I'm devoted. I always give more than what the other person needs. Too understanding, never seeming needy.
I just want your warm body to lay next to, nothing more.