right back where i started.
its everything. its my life... its what i am .. what im not. its how i feel.. how others see me.. its what i dont know how to handle anymore. its everything.
i dont care what people think about me.. not random people.. but people in my life who put so much pressure on me.. the people who expect me to fix their worlds.. people who dont understand that im just one person.. i cant be everything they expect.
i wish life was like a movie... u go through the heartache and in the end you get what u wanted.. u get who you wanted.. u get to smile.. and it ends.. before anymore heartache comes your way.
i feel like i live in a bad dream that i cant seem to wake up from. i wish i could count how many times a day my eyes get filled with pain.. and tears. its so easy for other to judge... for others to compare.. for them to tell you that life is what u want it to be. but they dont understand.. they have not been in your shoes. if life was that simple.. why would i and the rest of the world be in such pain.. how is it that.. no matter what.. i cant name one person that i know who is TRULY happy. not just for a few hours, not just for a day or a few days. its like comparing a small pond to a big ocean.. im happy for an hour.. sad for months.. is that fair?
i dont want an easy way out. i dont want someone to fix my world.. i just want someone or something that will get my life back on track. i want the one thing that will make me glad to be living.. the one thing that i just CANT live without. i want my one thing.. that no matter how bad a situation im in.. all i have to do is think about it.. and it will put a smile on my face.
when i was little, i loved who i was, as i got older.. i started to wish i could be someone else. but now.. i realize that.. even though ME isnt much.. its enough.. i dont want to be anyone else. i dont want to compare myself to others. i want me to be happy, i want me to find my void, i want me to not feel hollow, i want me to stop dreaming about things and make them happen. but i also want me to stop being a dreamer and be more realistic... because wishing and dreaming doesnt get you anywhere. no matter how much u wish u could.. it wont. its sad.. because for so much of my life i believed it could.. but everyday that goes by i realize how stupid it is. for years i wished and wished.. nothing.
i keep telling myself not to wish anymore. and then i lie awake at night tears rolling down my face, and i wish.. that atleast one of my wishes would come true. and look.. im right back where i started.
i dont care what people think about me.. not random people.. but people in my life who put so much pressure on me.. the people who expect me to fix their worlds.. people who dont understand that im just one person.. i cant be everything they expect.
i wish life was like a movie... u go through the heartache and in the end you get what u wanted.. u get who you wanted.. u get to smile.. and it ends.. before anymore heartache comes your way.
i feel like i live in a bad dream that i cant seem to wake up from. i wish i could count how many times a day my eyes get filled with pain.. and tears. its so easy for other to judge... for others to compare.. for them to tell you that life is what u want it to be. but they dont understand.. they have not been in your shoes. if life was that simple.. why would i and the rest of the world be in such pain.. how is it that.. no matter what.. i cant name one person that i know who is TRULY happy. not just for a few hours, not just for a day or a few days. its like comparing a small pond to a big ocean.. im happy for an hour.. sad for months.. is that fair?
i dont want an easy way out. i dont want someone to fix my world.. i just want someone or something that will get my life back on track. i want the one thing that will make me glad to be living.. the one thing that i just CANT live without. i want my one thing.. that no matter how bad a situation im in.. all i have to do is think about it.. and it will put a smile on my face.
when i was little, i loved who i was, as i got older.. i started to wish i could be someone else. but now.. i realize that.. even though ME isnt much.. its enough.. i dont want to be anyone else. i dont want to compare myself to others. i want me to be happy, i want me to find my void, i want me to not feel hollow, i want me to stop dreaming about things and make them happen. but i also want me to stop being a dreamer and be more realistic... because wishing and dreaming doesnt get you anywhere. no matter how much u wish u could.. it wont. its sad.. because for so much of my life i believed it could.. but everyday that goes by i realize how stupid it is. for years i wished and wished.. nothing.
i keep telling myself not to wish anymore. and then i lie awake at night tears rolling down my face, and i wish.. that atleast one of my wishes would come true. and look.. im right back where i started.