(no subject)
so, im missing rachel and we havent talked for a month and need to make up. this is an email she sent me about a month before we found out about our dad replying to an email i sent her.
Jenny: Thank you for taking the time to tell me how you feel about stuff, because while you were here, I never really got the chance to tell you how I feel about stuff. I have thought about this alot since you left, and although I never really voice my feelings as much as I should, it doesn't mean they aren't there. You are the only person I have ever known like I know you, and I'm sorry that I can't be the sister you have been to me.. and I know I have let this family down, but you mean more to me than possibly anyone, and the reason I know we can always be close is because we were apart for a year, then when you came back we were just as close as we always have been. I feel like we have a bond that is irreplacable, and to be honest, before you came here for three months, I kinda had bad feelings towards it, because I had been alone for so long, but now that you have gone, I would give anything for you to be back here with me.. because there is no one I can share some other feelings with as I can with you. We have both been through some major changes in our lives, and you are one of the only people in this world I respect like I respect you.. and although I act like I think I'm better than you, deep down I look up to you and aspire to be like you in ways you probably don't realise, and it makes me proud to be your sister when people see us together and smile at the bond we have. To me, you are a sister, a best friend, and a role model. I only recently realised it, but, in every way, I always have, and still do try to be like you.. I have not always made the right decisions but you have guided me... and I will ALWAYS have a place for you in my heart, and I know we will always be close, even if we are 1000s of miles apart. When I miss you and feel like crying, I look at the pictures we took that night we broke the camera, and the thanksgiving pictures in father christmas hats, and mum's pictures of when we were younger. Although it sounds gay, we are on different paths in life, but I know they will turn to one again sometime in our lives. If you had asked me six months ago what I would wish for if I could have one thing, it would have been probably clothes, money, a boyfriend, to be in love.. but now I realise the truely most important thing to me that I want more than anything is my family.. and I wonder if everyone back home still wants me.. Sorry this took me so long and is so long, but I still have alot of feelings unexpressed.. And the same goes for you that if you EVER need anything, don't feel that I won't be interested, or have time, because I promise I will always try to be the sister you were, are, and I know will be, to me.
I love you Jenny, and I appreciate you telling me how you feel. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Jenny: Thank you for taking the time to tell me how you feel about stuff, because while you were here, I never really got the chance to tell you how I feel about stuff. I have thought about this alot since you left, and although I never really voice my feelings as much as I should, it doesn't mean they aren't there. You are the only person I have ever known like I know you, and I'm sorry that I can't be the sister you have been to me.. and I know I have let this family down, but you mean more to me than possibly anyone, and the reason I know we can always be close is because we were apart for a year, then when you came back we were just as close as we always have been. I feel like we have a bond that is irreplacable, and to be honest, before you came here for three months, I kinda had bad feelings towards it, because I had been alone for so long, but now that you have gone, I would give anything for you to be back here with me.. because there is no one I can share some other feelings with as I can with you. We have both been through some major changes in our lives, and you are one of the only people in this world I respect like I respect you.. and although I act like I think I'm better than you, deep down I look up to you and aspire to be like you in ways you probably don't realise, and it makes me proud to be your sister when people see us together and smile at the bond we have. To me, you are a sister, a best friend, and a role model. I only recently realised it, but, in every way, I always have, and still do try to be like you.. I have not always made the right decisions but you have guided me... and I will ALWAYS have a place for you in my heart, and I know we will always be close, even if we are 1000s of miles apart. When I miss you and feel like crying, I look at the pictures we took that night we broke the camera, and the thanksgiving pictures in father christmas hats, and mum's pictures of when we were younger. Although it sounds gay, we are on different paths in life, but I know they will turn to one again sometime in our lives. If you had asked me six months ago what I would wish for if I could have one thing, it would have been probably clothes, money, a boyfriend, to be in love.. but now I realise the truely most important thing to me that I want more than anything is my family.. and I wonder if everyone back home still wants me.. Sorry this took me so long and is so long, but I still have alot of feelings unexpressed.. And the same goes for you that if you EVER need anything, don't feel that I won't be interested, or have time, because I promise I will always try to be the sister you were, are, and I know will be, to me.
I love you Jenny, and I appreciate you telling me how you feel. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx