I have no idea what's been going on lately and I just wish you would come over and explain things.
Accidentally stayed up til 4 am last night, mostly because of the argument Christian and I have been having for two years about becoming a professional artist. He firmly believes in not having a back up plan, in following your dream and working very hard to achieve it. He left UCSC sophmore year because the classes will let you slide. You can get a lot out of the program at UCSC. You can get as much as you put in to it. I haven't been putting a lot into it. I've been sliding by. Now I'm about to graduate with no faith in myself as an artist, nothing accomplished. I've always been so scared of failure in art that I've barely been willing to try. The only reason I went to CSSSA was because my English teacher kept asking if I was done with my application yet. I'm not motivated enough. I'm only 21 but I'm still scared it's too late. Then again I thought it was too late in high school, all of my friends were already so talented, how could I catch up? The quarter is halfway through. I need to jump in, I need to make more work. I need to take more pictures. I need to have a show, to network and edit and learn. I'm graduating June 12 and I'm so scared and insecure. I make poetry and photography because I have to, because something in me drives me to keep doing it despite my lack of self confidence.
Stop making excuses. Start making art.
and how do you do it?
and make it seem effortless
when its all the stupid things
so overwhelming to me
like paying my bills
or showing up for work early
or laughing at your jokes
Stop making excuses. Start making art.
and how do you do it?
and make it seem effortless
when its all the stupid things
so overwhelming to me
like paying my bills
or showing up for work early
or laughing at your jokes