Ramblings....
I don’t know why I tell myself that I need you. Because I don’t. I don’t need someone who tells me I am nothing through their words and actions. Because by the way: I am something. In fact, I easily could be your everything. But that is your choice to take nothing and leave it all behind. You think you’ll find better, you think I just going to cry over you and beg you for acceptance, well sorry. I hope you know that I am strong. I am. I am strong damn it! I am sorry for you that you do not see it and you are blind to the incredible strength and beauty that I have. Blind?? Maybe not, maybe you are just stupid.
Because I am beautiful. I am not the perfect woman. I am not the skinniest girl but I will tell you that every curve of my body is delicate and sensual. I am not as tall as I wish, but being small and short is not a bad thing. I am short but I am tall enough to stand up for myself and to stand up proudly. Beside I am the perfect size to fit snuggly against you. My teeth are not perfectly straight and sometimes it irritates me nut the smile that bears them is infectious. And it is a gift I can always give. My eyes are a shade of blue that can captivate you and bare you my entire soul, but you have to look deeply. There is a beautiful soul but you have to find it, appreciate it, and you will fall in love with it.
I have two hands. They are neither big, nor small but they will build you a shelter, prepare you a meal, caress and tender to every pain. These hands will fight for what is right, they will pray, they will hold, and if you choose to take them into yours, they won’t let go.
They will hold on and my arms will follow behind them. They will grasp into you and your body and not let go until you say so. They will hug you and comfort you through your sorrows. They will congratulate you and celebrate in your triumphs. They will connect us arm to arm.
Connect. Connection is simple, it comes with the heart. My heart is strong and healthy. My heart beats regularly and never stops. It will never stop beating for you because it knows its job and its knows its passion. My heart is capable of loving so don’t fear that there is not room. My heart has been broken but you will help heal it, along with time. It will always have room for you. For her. For him. For us. For me.
My mind is creative and intelligent. It is always learning, and it is aware. It is aware of the love you can give and the crap you have gave. It tells the heart to not love but to think, but it also helps spread my soul. My soul, my spirit, and my love.
My legs are swift, although right now painful they will not stop me from reaching you whenever you need me. And if I cannot be there in person, I promise to be with you in spirit, thought, and prayer. I promise. Please know that my promises are good.
I know you’ve been hurt in the past, and your heart has been broken. Understand I’ve been there, and am there now. But I am not her. Its ok that you are not over all your previous girlfriends, no one excepts you to be. Just know I am here for you, and together with time maybe you’ll find love again.
But know I am not perfect. And I admit that and I am always trying to better myself, not necessarily for you but for me.
I cry. I cry a lot. I cry because I am happy, and I cry because I am sad. I cry over sappy commercials, hallmark cards, weddings, funerals, Disney movies. I cry over my best friends, families, pets…. You name it…I’ve probably shed a tear for it. Sometimes they are way too dramatic, and I’m sorry. You have to take those as nothing. Still listen to me rant and rave please, but know tomorrow we’ll probably look back on it and laugh.
I have been hurt. Badly. I tend to tell myself that I am invisible and I have overcome t6he hurt and I’ve put all the energy towards positive things. But don’t believe it. I still hurt from time to time. Be patient with me if I have trouble trusting you or being affectionate; please remember that it isn’t you.
I am sorry if I ever take my anger out on you. I don’t know why we tend to lash out on the one’s we care about the most. I will try to never do that to you. I hope you know I am here for you. Whenever you are angry or upset, just talk to me. I will listen. I may not know the exact right thing to do, but I will listen and support you.
I want someone to just know when to look into my eyes and say nothing,
I want someone who believes that sometimes a kiss is more sexual and pleasurable than any sexual act.
I want someone who respects my religion even if it isn’t there own and encourages my faith. I want someone to help me through my trials and tribulations. I want someone to sit and pray with me if I need them to, and hold my and in church when I get teary eyed (because yes I even cry in church)
I want someone who remembers I am a lady. I’d like my car door opened for me, building doors opened. I want someone to offer to carry my stuff, someone to walk me to the door at night. I want someone who isn’t afraid to let me treat them well too. I want to be able to buy you things, and take you out for a change, and have you not feel bad, just thankful.
I don’t need big expensive gifts, or to be taken out to expensive restaurants. Sometimes making dinner for me or making me a card is fun and romantic in its own way. What you want to give me and is all I want. The best gift you can give me, can be as simple as holding me underneath the stars.
I want to feel safe. I don’t want to be hurt on purpose. I wish we could guarantee
Each other that we would never hurt each other. I know it can’t happen but I give my word that I will try. I don’t want to be yelled at, or hit, or pushed, or forced into anything. I will give you that promise back. Because no matter your past, you deserve respect and a chance.
My greatest quality is my ability to forgive. Please don’t take advantage of that.
But it’s like you don’t see it, you don’t try. I blame myself. I tell myself not to care, and I do. I think of you and wonder why you don’t see all I have to offer. I am kind, sensuous, exotic, loving, compassionate…..what are you??
I don’t know because you won’t let me in.
Because I am beautiful. I am not the perfect woman. I am not the skinniest girl but I will tell you that every curve of my body is delicate and sensual. I am not as tall as I wish, but being small and short is not a bad thing. I am short but I am tall enough to stand up for myself and to stand up proudly. Beside I am the perfect size to fit snuggly against you. My teeth are not perfectly straight and sometimes it irritates me nut the smile that bears them is infectious. And it is a gift I can always give. My eyes are a shade of blue that can captivate you and bare you my entire soul, but you have to look deeply. There is a beautiful soul but you have to find it, appreciate it, and you will fall in love with it.
I have two hands. They are neither big, nor small but they will build you a shelter, prepare you a meal, caress and tender to every pain. These hands will fight for what is right, they will pray, they will hold, and if you choose to take them into yours, they won’t let go.
They will hold on and my arms will follow behind them. They will grasp into you and your body and not let go until you say so. They will hug you and comfort you through your sorrows. They will congratulate you and celebrate in your triumphs. They will connect us arm to arm.
Connect. Connection is simple, it comes with the heart. My heart is strong and healthy. My heart beats regularly and never stops. It will never stop beating for you because it knows its job and its knows its passion. My heart is capable of loving so don’t fear that there is not room. My heart has been broken but you will help heal it, along with time. It will always have room for you. For her. For him. For us. For me.
My mind is creative and intelligent. It is always learning, and it is aware. It is aware of the love you can give and the crap you have gave. It tells the heart to not love but to think, but it also helps spread my soul. My soul, my spirit, and my love.
My legs are swift, although right now painful they will not stop me from reaching you whenever you need me. And if I cannot be there in person, I promise to be with you in spirit, thought, and prayer. I promise. Please know that my promises are good.
I know you’ve been hurt in the past, and your heart has been broken. Understand I’ve been there, and am there now. But I am not her. Its ok that you are not over all your previous girlfriends, no one excepts you to be. Just know I am here for you, and together with time maybe you’ll find love again.
But know I am not perfect. And I admit that and I am always trying to better myself, not necessarily for you but for me.
I cry. I cry a lot. I cry because I am happy, and I cry because I am sad. I cry over sappy commercials, hallmark cards, weddings, funerals, Disney movies. I cry over my best friends, families, pets…. You name it…I’ve probably shed a tear for it. Sometimes they are way too dramatic, and I’m sorry. You have to take those as nothing. Still listen to me rant and rave please, but know tomorrow we’ll probably look back on it and laugh.
I have been hurt. Badly. I tend to tell myself that I am invisible and I have overcome t6he hurt and I’ve put all the energy towards positive things. But don’t believe it. I still hurt from time to time. Be patient with me if I have trouble trusting you or being affectionate; please remember that it isn’t you.
I am sorry if I ever take my anger out on you. I don’t know why we tend to lash out on the one’s we care about the most. I will try to never do that to you. I hope you know I am here for you. Whenever you are angry or upset, just talk to me. I will listen. I may not know the exact right thing to do, but I will listen and support you.
I want someone to just know when to look into my eyes and say nothing,
I want someone who believes that sometimes a kiss is more sexual and pleasurable than any sexual act.
I want someone who respects my religion even if it isn’t there own and encourages my faith. I want someone to help me through my trials and tribulations. I want someone to sit and pray with me if I need them to, and hold my and in church when I get teary eyed (because yes I even cry in church)
I want someone who remembers I am a lady. I’d like my car door opened for me, building doors opened. I want someone to offer to carry my stuff, someone to walk me to the door at night. I want someone who isn’t afraid to let me treat them well too. I want to be able to buy you things, and take you out for a change, and have you not feel bad, just thankful.
I don’t need big expensive gifts, or to be taken out to expensive restaurants. Sometimes making dinner for me or making me a card is fun and romantic in its own way. What you want to give me and is all I want. The best gift you can give me, can be as simple as holding me underneath the stars.
I want to feel safe. I don’t want to be hurt on purpose. I wish we could guarantee
Each other that we would never hurt each other. I know it can’t happen but I give my word that I will try. I don’t want to be yelled at, or hit, or pushed, or forced into anything. I will give you that promise back. Because no matter your past, you deserve respect and a chance.
My greatest quality is my ability to forgive. Please don’t take advantage of that.
But it’s like you don’t see it, you don’t try. I blame myself. I tell myself not to care, and I do. I think of you and wonder why you don’t see all I have to offer. I am kind, sensuous, exotic, loving, compassionate…..what are you??
I don’t know because you won’t let me in.