there is beauty in the breakdown

[hope_meets_less]

if you've let go of the steering wheel while driving home
hyper-ventalating from sobbing and screaming into silence at 3:30am
this is for you

if you've ever seen what you want two inches from your face in anothers smile or in the way they laugh
this is for you

if you've ever not been able to leave the one thing that causes the most pain in your heart for knowledge of better times to come
this is for you

if you've ever had to wait and miss and writhe with the lack of understanding your own impatience
this is for you

if you've ever cried your fucking eyes out on another's pillow only to be met with silence but also the tightest of hugs
this is for you

if you've come to the realization that no one else fucking knows or will ever understand what really goes on with the toughest and most inspiring times in your life and you are so lonely but want to endure
this is for you

if reason never corrosponds to your emotions---

if you've ever just not.known.what.to.do.---

if you've ever come across the conflict between understanding the situation and reason for the real world but finding it impossible to accept---

if you've ever just known something that others may think you're crazy for thinking---

if the person who holds you the closest also pushes you the furthest away---

if you refuse to hold anything back. ever.
this is for me

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there was a brush of your shoulder and a catch of the eyes
and i remembered all your words and our invigorating conversations
and i wish i could have you all to myself, close to myself
to: someone who knows that i dont know well enough