(no subject)

[hope_meets_less]

hi my name is sarah and...

"i believe in medication
i believe in thereapy
and i belive in crystal light
cos i believe in me yeah
its so uplifting fuck yeah

i barely have the motivation
they say i suffer from a lack of seretonin
synapses happen to infrequently for me
to be functioning properly

i took the pills
i took the advice
the panic stopped
but still im not right
its the same old storyline
this is my nursery rhyme

cos i believe in medication
i believe in thereapy
and i belive in crystal light
cos i believe in me yeah
its so uplifting fuck yeah"
-motion city soundtrack

assistance to surviving without ruining my life
is a funny thing in itself
what if im meant to just panic all the time and screw up my life
living between manic and depression while trying not to fall completely off the balance beam
breathing without a giant weight on my chest happens too infrequently
i stopped drugs cos i wanted to live without the influence on my thoughts and feelings
but i indulge in medication to keep those thoughts and feelings from driving me insane
its vicious and ive lived both ways
and for those of you who think the whole medication thing is bullshit, dont fucking talk to me about it cos ive been through that argument many times and i know both sides quite well.
i feel so much. period. and its hard not to tear through my skin sometimes to get away.
ive abused myself alot during my life. but im so thankful i can think and feel and experience with an open mind.
but wow sometimes i never want to wake up and i cant explain why