its a love/hate thing. but much more love. but the hate is intolerably cruel.

[hope_meets_less]

i feel obligated to document it when i feel something very strongly or an intense emotion has come on at a specific time.
like, "ok...what just happened here?" because maybe i will forget or dont trust myself to tell the truth about it later.

wanting to pull each word you spoke out of the air
and place it in a private archive
where i can read your communication
whenever i liked.

finally begining to accept my nature
and not take it as a fault to change
but characteristics to adapt and use to my advantage

and to stop my angry weeping
knowing that i brought myself the pain.
but rather to
accept the passion
and act on feeling
KNOWING instead of WISHING
i did the perfect thing
that was truest to myself