its really nothing

[hope_meets_less]

if it feels like its over...it probably is

a feeling like you're selling yourself short
for having a certain emotion
like you're screwing yourself
for experiencing false passion

sometimes wishing you didnt care so much
and that they kinda wish you did

wishing for another's regret

hoping for another's painful realization

knowing for sure that someone misses only your company tonite

ah but i could never let myself get so close
too obsessed with independence
cowering from embrace because of doubt based on nothing

PAIN
IS AN
UNAVOIDABLE
SIDE-EFFECT
OF
GROWTH

if the metaphors would come back to me
maybe i wouldnt feel so vulnerable and exposed

if only i could be so raw with someone else
without being afraid they would run away

so if this transition would just hurry up we could get on with things
but ive never been one to rush through intense pain
mostly the kind that i bring on myself
(which is most everytime)
only dwell and hope that a profound realization will come out
and then the rebirth
the rekindling of the flame that used to make me wake before noon

just pretend for a minute that im really who i am
and that im not just making you/me comfortable for a moment

and then think to yourself: why have i settled for so much less?