(no subject)
I have to remain confident that the right guy will come along and that I made the choice not to be with Jason or Jeff not the other way around. I am just afraid bc I am alone and that is unfamilar to me. I need to experience it, be aware of it, and deal with the feelings. I need to surround myself with friends and family. Charlie's birthday is coming up. I should focus on that. I want to throw a little get together to celebrate making it through the last year. It has been hard but I want to throw a party and celebrate the people who got me through it. If certain people were not a part of my life, I am not sure where Charlie and I would be.
Being alone is not something I am used to experiencing. I hate it. There is a difference in being alone by choice and being alone bc someone else decided that they didnt want to be with you. I am so pissed that Jeff tried for 2 months to get be back. Practically 3 months and now he is saying, "I don't want to be around anyone. i am having a hard time and I don't need pressure." It is him who is playing games not me. He is screwing me over as usual. I let him but I am atleast getting better at not letting him in too much. You can only be hurt as much as you let someone in. I can't believe I let him in at all. I am so dumb.
Being alone is not something I am used to experiencing. I hate it. There is a difference in being alone by choice and being alone bc someone else decided that they didnt want to be with you. I am so pissed that Jeff tried for 2 months to get be back. Practically 3 months and now he is saying, "I don't want to be around anyone. i am having a hard time and I don't need pressure." It is him who is playing games not me. He is screwing me over as usual. I let him but I am atleast getting better at not letting him in too much. You can only be hurt as much as you let someone in. I can't believe I let him in at all. I am so dumb.