some less fortunate than others i suppose.....
so on this wonderful rainy day where most people are in bad moods cuz of the weather or what not im rather enjoyin it....i alwayz took the rain as something honorable i suppose..playin football, baseball, runnin meets in the rain is something ive seen honorable cuz most ppl baby out of it...newayz i guess u can say ive been quite the antagonist..actually most ppl are disgusted wit that but for some reason it hasnt hit me in a negative sense at all...i guess thats fucked up u say...well lets c what would make some1 like me do that..hmm could it be something like i wrote about in my livejournal last entry about ppl blowin me off after bein there for them (nah not one bit), sry for the sarcasm, i guess bein the nice guy u alwayz do finish last..i mean, sometimes i wonder that if i put my body on the line for some1 else would they care that i saved them or jus that they almost passed away....funny isnt it? i remember defendin ppl in fights and when i got my ass kicked those same ppl i defended would watch me get knocked by a bunch of ppl..funny isnt it, trust is so hard to come by these days...i mean its been brought to my attn that ive been some1 to not trust i guess, i mean i awoke yesterday mornin to threatenin ims and almost went off to i realized it wasnt about me, and then i joked it off to calm down but i guess i was wrong...i guess im the horrible person to not apologize but i guess life moves on...i mean ive had so many things wit ppl that ive jus dropped without them apologizing and i jus forgot about it, but im a bad person..."your too nice chris" is a comment i got from some1 who i shoulda been payin attn to but i guess my mind was clouded, so im sorry for bein so stubborn, and i miss that person a lot includin the philosophical talks we used to have but i understand that sometimes all that changes...so i guess thats all i gotta say for now ill write more lata or tomorrow :)..im jus wonderin how long im gonna last whether it be life or jus at school or ny even we shall c, but until then all the ppl who think im a bad person will hafta deal wit me so get ova it :)