i want a cigerette

[hookitup_phatyo]

i hate this lack of happiness i have lately it reminds me of last year which i hated, its funny how miss things about last year, i miss hanging with john and bobby, were all kinda drifting apart a lil bit well not really john and i were still close except we never hang out bc well first off i think him and hannah are the best couple i have ever seen there going to be happy the rest of their lives with eachother atleast i think and i like hanging with them but i always feel intruding and bc of schedules of being busy its hard to catch john without hannah which is fine but i miss hanging with my friends sometimes, bobby i dunno weve definetly became distant but im thinking its always like this until summer bc he works so much, i dont feel close to anyone anymore i just feel like i hang with people and thats it well adrienne and i are doing sweet but i dunno im just thinking this summer is going to suck bc there will be lack of people who want to hang we will have to see, life has been so blah i dont know why it was kinda like this last year at this time but not this extreme

lifes alright besides that we won in lax today 7-4 it was sweet

i want to start reading i think i need brooke to suggest some books for me to check into i want to reopen my mind bc im sure this is just me freaking out on nothing but i feel bc i did drugs for a lil bit i hurt the reading processor i had so i want to start to fix and read. i love feeling smart which im not really, sometimes i am

its wierd feeling so different so mature and so immature at the same time its rediculous

i need to work its embarressing to not pay for anything i hate it i hate not making money for myself i hate not being on my own i hate not being the age i want to be right

i want to hear new music, i need suggestions anything im so bored with what im listening to doesnt matter what genre