one of these days, ill sweep you right up off your feet, and into everything you ever wanted
i feel so useless
like i just cant seem to do anything right anymore
i would hate to be some emo loser talking about there stupid love life that never works out and how so many more things in there life suck and they want to kill them selves b/c thats not wat im feeling. but i am lonely. and i do miss my ex. and i feel like all i ever do is party or sit around at my house an just hang out b/c im so tired. i want a new life style. im not sure what but something has to change. i just need someone in my life. i want someone i can call at 2 in the morning when i need someone just to talk to. i need someone to hold me an hug me an kiss me and tell me not to worry anymore b/c iv found what i wanted and they promise me with all there heart that they are not going to hurt me. i kno im young....but. i want to fall in love. i want so many things from guys that i know i am not getting. and i kno it will all happen with time. but what about the time inbetween. what do u do then. be sad. are u better off just crying ur eyes out and being sad for how ever long it takes to get over someone or do u need to get back in the game and find a new guy to take ur mind off the old? this year has been the worst for me with love and guys and im just at a point were im really confused as to what i should do with my self and if i do find a great guy (if thats possible) should i take that leap again and put my heart out hoping he is going to keep it and never let it go? b/c everytime i seem to do that....i get my heart thrown rite back into my chest, crushed and broken. And im not sure if i can deal with onemore heartbreak. I remember saying that right b4 i found ryan and i guess dealing with one more heartbreak was possible but i dont want it to be. i dont want it to happen. all i want is just to be with someone who makes me happy. who makes me laugh so hard that i feel like im gonna pee my pants. i want a boy who is not only my love but my best friend. i dont want my relationship to be filled with all this b/f g/f stuff. normal things to...like best friends do. i thought i had that but i guess i was wrong. like always. i guess im just really lonely...again. but ill get over it. ill move on an find a new guy. but most likely with all my luck iv had this year. ill get hurt again b/c im a dumb ass and always take that extra step in the relationship an let my heart run wild with emotions and then get shut down into nothing. and btw fuck all of u who even think for a second that im just some stupid girl going through stupid boy problems. everyone goes through it and even tho some of u do not write it out online dose not mean u dont feel it or u just dont care. u would have to be pretty fucking heartless to tell me what i am going through is something that u have never been through and wrote about. b/c im sure more than half of us have. ah im just in the crappyest mood. today was so bad. i dunno i was really upset i guess an fuck i sat like in the kitchen all day eating food and watching TV. i guess this all started with outback jack tho. for any of u who watch that. oh man. that guy is so good looking and when he voted off that girl....i dont kno her name. iv never watched the show b4. but u could tell that she really really did care for him and had the most worried face out of the other 2 girls and when said her name...oh man i could not help my self but to cry just as hard as she did. it was so sad. jack even started to cry. ah haha im the worst. i cry over everthing. im such a little girl. ya okay im done. i love who ever reads this crap and leaves me comments.
kortie<333333
like i just cant seem to do anything right anymore
i would hate to be some emo loser talking about there stupid love life that never works out and how so many more things in there life suck and they want to kill them selves b/c thats not wat im feeling. but i am lonely. and i do miss my ex. and i feel like all i ever do is party or sit around at my house an just hang out b/c im so tired. i want a new life style. im not sure what but something has to change. i just need someone in my life. i want someone i can call at 2 in the morning when i need someone just to talk to. i need someone to hold me an hug me an kiss me and tell me not to worry anymore b/c iv found what i wanted and they promise me with all there heart that they are not going to hurt me. i kno im young....but. i want to fall in love. i want so many things from guys that i know i am not getting. and i kno it will all happen with time. but what about the time inbetween. what do u do then. be sad. are u better off just crying ur eyes out and being sad for how ever long it takes to get over someone or do u need to get back in the game and find a new guy to take ur mind off the old? this year has been the worst for me with love and guys and im just at a point were im really confused as to what i should do with my self and if i do find a great guy (if thats possible) should i take that leap again and put my heart out hoping he is going to keep it and never let it go? b/c everytime i seem to do that....i get my heart thrown rite back into my chest, crushed and broken. And im not sure if i can deal with onemore heartbreak. I remember saying that right b4 i found ryan and i guess dealing with one more heartbreak was possible but i dont want it to be. i dont want it to happen. all i want is just to be with someone who makes me happy. who makes me laugh so hard that i feel like im gonna pee my pants. i want a boy who is not only my love but my best friend. i dont want my relationship to be filled with all this b/f g/f stuff. normal things to...like best friends do. i thought i had that but i guess i was wrong. like always. i guess im just really lonely...again. but ill get over it. ill move on an find a new guy. but most likely with all my luck iv had this year. ill get hurt again b/c im a dumb ass and always take that extra step in the relationship an let my heart run wild with emotions and then get shut down into nothing. and btw fuck all of u who even think for a second that im just some stupid girl going through stupid boy problems. everyone goes through it and even tho some of u do not write it out online dose not mean u dont feel it or u just dont care. u would have to be pretty fucking heartless to tell me what i am going through is something that u have never been through and wrote about. b/c im sure more than half of us have. ah im just in the crappyest mood. today was so bad. i dunno i was really upset i guess an fuck i sat like in the kitchen all day eating food and watching TV. i guess this all started with outback jack tho. for any of u who watch that. oh man. that guy is so good looking and when he voted off that girl....i dont kno her name. iv never watched the show b4. but u could tell that she really really did care for him and had the most worried face out of the other 2 girls and when said her name...oh man i could not help my self but to cry just as hard as she did. it was so sad. jack even started to cry. ah haha im the worst. i cry over everthing. im such a little girl. ya okay im done. i love who ever reads this crap and leaves me comments.
kortie<333333