incredibly belated spn_j2_bigbang 2010 fic recs + To Read fic-list (various genres/pairings)
I realize this is super-late, haha, but better late than never, right?
I’ve been somewhat good at keeping up with and reccing fics from spn_reversebang, but I totally wasn’t any good at keeping up with/reccing fics from spn_j2_bigbang 2010. Sooooo, I made a list of the ones that looked interesting to me.
And below is a list from THAT list of fics of all the fics that include - or look like they might possibly include - Dean-focused h/c. Most have reccer’s comments with them; if they don’t, that means I haven’t read them yet. Also, I did make a few teeny Big Bang rec posts before and I’ve re-posted those recs here along with the new ones to make the list more complete, if you get déjà-vu.
So, this is part rec-post, part fic-list, different than how I usually do things, but I thought maybe some of you might find it helpful if you’re behind in your reading too! ;)
P.S. If you have any other similarly themed recs, (or self-recs), please leave them in the comments to this post so that others can check them out.
spn_j2_bigbang 2010 fic recs + To Read fic-list:
Read and reviewed:
Title: The Mad Road
Author: bellatemple
Tags: drugs (psychiatric), hospitalization (psychiatric), mental illness, self-harm, sleepwalking, suicide attempt, supernatural injury/trauma
Characters: Dean, Jo, Sam, Bobby, etc.
Genre/pairing: Gen.
Rating: Adult, for language, violence, and themes
Word-count: 47000
Spoilers: through "Dark Side of the Moon"
Warnings: Available at fic post.
Summary: On October 31st, 2005, Sam Winchester wakes up to find someone rummaging through his kitchen. It's his father, with bad news: his brother's dead, and the thing that killed him is coming to Palo Alto. Weeks later, Jo Harvelle follows a lead on her missing boyfriend to a mental health facility and meets a man, dressed in half-scrubs, half-flannel, with bandaged wrists and paranoid tendencies. His name is Dean Winchester, he knows more than he possibly could, and convincing his family he's not really dead would only be half their problem -- if Jo can help him find them...
Reccer’s comments: Whoah. This has got to be one of the most well-thought-out and plotted stories I’ve read in this fandom. It’s twisty and turny and compelling and just so CLEVER. I was so impressed by how awesome and smart it was I actually had this look on my face when I finished reading it: :-o True story, bro.
I also really appreciate how it deals with all of Dean’s issues in this nice, subtle way.
Title: Carouselambra
Author: brihana25 @ brihana25_fic
Tags: ep: “Faith," PTSD, carried!Dean, panic attacks, childhood trauma, non-con, supernatural injury/trauma
Characters: Sam, Dean, Bobby, John
Genre/pairing: Gen. (angst, drama, h/c, brotherly love)
Rating: R
Word-count: 41,100
Spoilers: Takes place between Faith and Route 666.
Warning: dark, disturbing, and potentially triggery content. More info at fic post.
Summary: Eight years after a hunt with John and Bobby that ended in disaster, Sam and Dean return to Johnston, Iowa for what looks to be a simple job. It isn't long before they realize that things are not always what they seem, and it's not so easy to escape a horror that refuses to stay dead. The reality of the situation flies in the face of everything they know about spirits and forces them to confront their biggest fears. With one Winchester struggling against a nightmare that keeps dragging him back under, and the other reeling from the knowledge of what his brother is willing to sacrifice to protect him, they will have to find the strength to stand together and defeat the ghost that haunts them both, once and for all.
Reccer’s comments: Yay, case-fic! I love case-fic and this one is wonderfully put-together. It’s a chilling storyline, and the way the author captures the bond between the brothers lends a lovely warmth to the story as well.
Title: Hover Through the Fog and Filthy Air
Author: chiiyo86
Tags: counseling/therapy, drugs (psychiatric), mental illness, psychological trauma, PTSD, suicidal ideation, mentioned suicide attempt
Characters: Sam, Dean, OCs
Genre/pairing: Mostly gen. (OMC/OFC, OFC/OFC)
Rating: R
Word-count: 29,000
Spoilers: Lucifer Rising
Warnings: Language, mentions of a suicide attempt, PTSD flashbacks, disturbing imagery.
Summary: AU after “Lucifer Rising.” 2013 - The demon war ended three years ago with Lucifer’s death. Sam and Dean, now living in Portland, Oregon, are learning how to live after a violent war that destroyed part of the country and left both of them weary and broken. As they decide to start hunting again, a friend tells them about a potential case - strange human-shaped shadows are attacking people in the night. In the small town of Government Camp, lost in the mountains, they find out this hunt is the consequence of something darker and uglier than they could imagine…
Reccer’s comments: I don’t know that I’ve read many fics that delve this deeply into the psychological scars the Winchesters are sure to wear forever once the war is over, but it’s a story I'm very interested in. chiiyo86 tells it with much empathy and understanding of both brothers, and to top it off there’s a great casefile going on! I’d also like to point out that this story has many hopeful moments despite it’s subject matter.
Title: Bury Me In Fire
Author: deadbeat_nymph
Tags: nausea/vomiting, nightmares, post-hell issues, PTSD, rash/hives, self-harm
Genre/pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: NC-17
Word-count: approximately 32,000
Spoilers: General spoilers for Season 4. Story begins at the start of Season 4 and goes AU shortly thereafter.
Warnings: Extremely dark and explicit recollections of Hell; post-traumatic stress disorder; memories of a painful childhood; alcohol abuse; smoking; self-mutilation; kink including spanking, a sort of hook-up with a stranger(OC), D/s elements; mentions of bodily functions, including a vomiting scene.
Summary: People are dying mysteriously all over the Northeast and the boys head there to investigate. They plod through the case, Dean distracted by his memories of Hell, nightmares, shame, guilt, fear, a bad stomach and a weird rash, Sam distracted by Dean's torment. Sam wants to help Dean, but Dean just wants to sublimate his desperation through work. As the case flounders, the brothers' relationship begins to mutate. If they can just figure out what's going on, catch the creature and kill it, fix Dean's body and heal his mind, and settle things between them, things might actually be okay. Also, there's comfort food, a perfect small town in Upstate New York, and maybe a surprise or two. Please read warnings carefully.
Reccer’s comments: As the author said, do read the warnings! Despite them, though, I found this fic to be one of the most feel-good Big Bangs I’ve read this year. Yes, there’s serious angst, but there’s hope too, plus the caring Sam I longed for in season 4. This fic is just so wonderfully full of emotion and warmth.
Title: Luminous
Author: devilsduplicity @ pickthelock
Tags: drugged, drugs (supernatural), kidnapping, psychological trauma, non-con, Stockholm Syndrome, torture
Characters: Dean, Sam, Castiel, Lucifer, Bobby
Genre/pairing: Dean/Castiel, Dean/Lucifer, hints of Michael/Lucifer pre-slash
Rating: R
Word-count: 33,500
Spoilers: Spoilers up to 5.03, where it branches off to AU.
Warnings: Non-con, scenes of torture, some religious themes.
Summary: Lucifer is best at two things: Manipulation and Deceit. Castiel hasn't been Castiel for a very long time, and with nothing left to hold onto, Dean spirals down into a pit of torture and degradation. When the Devil kicks Castiel out of Jimmy's body, he weaves a world of lies around Dean's life that is so carefully interwoven with reality, no one is the wiser. Dean kills, thrills, and eventually strings himself out on Heaven's equivalent of crack cocaine, and at the end of this long journey of royally screwing himself over, Lucifer, in possession of Castiel's vessel, spirits Dean away for a little "quality time" together. Add in flashbacks of Lucifer's time in Heaven, the slow dissension between two angelic brothers, and The End Of The Apocalypse, and we've got ourselves a mighty fine time.
Reccer’s comments: I like how Dean retained his Dean-ness throughout all of Lucifer’s manipulations of him, and I like that he re-gains some of his trust in the end, but not everything is wrapped up overly neatly. An engaging read.
Title: One Thing I Don't Believe In
Author: essenceofmeanin
Tags: anxiety/panic attack, memory loss/amnesia, nightmares, supernatural trauma
Genre/pairing: M/M sex, some Dean/Castiel.
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Dean Winchester and Castiel don't manage to stop the apocalypse, but they do find God. In reward, God gives Dean a new beginning, a new life. He is reborn in 1979 into a normal life with his parents, John and Mary Winchester and later, his brother Sammy. Life isn't perfect - Dean is plagued by nightmares, panic attacks and memories he doesn't know are his own.
Reccer’s comments: Ohhh. This is heartbreaking and happy-making at the same time. (Mostly heartbreaking.) Dean’s new reality is expertly drawn and beautiful, then beautifully bittersweet when his old reality begins to bleed into his consciousness.
Fyi, I read this mostly as gen.
Title: The Time-Traveler's Brother
Author: gretazreta
Tags: age regression (kind of - the age differences are caused by time travel) crying!Dean, injury
Genre/pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: R
Word-count: 44,000
Spoilers: AU following canon through s5.
Warnings: Adult content. No strong warnings but see Author's notes for specifics.
Summary: His whole life, Dean Winchester travels through time, forwards and backwards, but he always comes back to Sam. Dean doesn't believe in destiny, but if it does exist, his is Sam. This story is inspired by Audrey Niffenegger's The Time-Traveler's Wife.
Reccer’s comments: This isn’t actually THAT h/c-y, but it’s amazing and deserves a read (or ten!) I’m probably the last person in the world who hasn’t read The Time Traveler’s Wife, but if it’s anything like this I’m going to have to get on that! I love the layered complexity of the storytelling, and how the author makes it look easy, and I lovelovelove the way it takes the fact that Dean and Sam revolve around each other to a different, even higher level.
Title: Over the Hills and Far Away
Author: hansons_angel
Tags: chronic illness, fever, hospitalization, kidney disease, organ failure, pneumonia
Characters: Dean and Sam Winchester. Bobby Singer. Castiel. Some John Winchester. Some OC’s.
Genre/pairing: Gen
Rating: PG-13 for language.
Word-count: approximately 56,900
Spoilers: General spoilers for any episode in seasons 1-5.
Warnings: Available at fic post. Do check them out if you're a sensitive reader.
Summary: This isn’t a story about the Apocalypse. It’s not even really a story about demon hunting and the supernatural, though all these things are featured. It’s an AU story about the deep bond that brothers have, and the lengths they’ll go to for each other, beginning when Sam and Dean Winchester are children, and Sam needs a kidney transplant. It’s not about one brother over the other, but the idea that, without one brother there isn’t the other. It’s an exploration of sacrifice and unconditional love, the study of what family can mean -- what it should mean. It’s about love and despair, fear and grief, heroism and ultimately -- hope.
Reccer’s comments: hansons_angel is one of my fave sick!Dean writers, so I decided to read this despite the fact that I knew the subject matter would be difficult for me to read, as I’m sure it is to write. And it was difficult - this is one of the most realistic depictions of chronic illness I’ve read, in fic or otherwise - but the brother’s relationship and bond is just GORGEOUSLY written, and I encourage you to give it a try.
Title: Last Child
Author: jackfan2
Possible tags: burns, cuts/lacerations, drugs/drugged, electrocution, fever, infection, injury, kidnapping, torture
Genre/pairing: Gen
Rating: R
Word-count: 90,000
Spoilers: Season one.
Warnings: Contains graphic torture. Mentions of child molestation, though not to main characters. Only the prologue gets a little... intense on the molestation.
Summary: An eight year old story of violence and blood shed resurfaces with new victims and clues enough to attract the Winchester’s. In route to investigate, illness sidelines the younger brother leaving Dean to hunt alone. It was a path that both agreed they'd avoid at all costs and Dean soon finds himself lured into a trap. In a race against time, the brothers embark on separate journeys: Dean to save the last child from a brutal ending; and Sam, to save Dean from becoming the next play thing at the hands of a monster neither of them is prepared for.
Reccer’s comments: Yay, I love a good, long casefile I can sink my teeth into! The torture scenes were disturbing to read, but I really liked that the human element in this story came across as being just as creepy as the supernatural element. That's one of my fave fic scenarios, and one I wish they'd deal with on the show more often.
Title: I See the Moon
Author: kaylennz
Tags: amnesia, grief, head injury, migraine, pain
Genre/pairing: Wincest, AU. Sam/Dean, mentions prior Dean/OFC, prior Sam/Jess.
Rating: PG-13
Word-count: 88,097
Warnings: Amnesia fic, Dean as a father.
Summary: Sam had known how Dean felt about him when he'd left for Stanford. His own feelings weren't so clear. He'd needed time away from it all, hunting, his father, and especially Dean. It took him five years and a degree he hadn't planned on to realize there was only one person he wanted to share his life with. He'd never considered the possibility that Dean would move on without him...or that something could happen that would erase him from his brother's life completely.
Reccer’s comments: A beautifully written and touching fic about Sam and Dean finding their way back to each other. There is daddy!Dean, fyi, and I’ve only read a few of those that work for me - this one definitely included.
Title: Perspectives
Author: PhoenixDragon (a-phoenixdragon)
Tags: hell/post-hell issues, PTSD
Characters: Dean, OMC, Sam, Bobby
Genre/pairing: Gen
Rating: R
Word-count: 114,907
Spoilers: Metamorphosis
Warnings: AU, Dark!Fic, Language, Violence, Torture, Heavy Angst
Summary: Set AU from S4.04 'Metamorphosis', this is a what-if based on Dean's discovery of Sam's secret mere minutes after coming back from the past: Told from the viewpoints of Dean, Sam and Bobby, this tale is about choices, none of them easy and how those same choices can carry into the future. Sometimes all you can do is walk away, even when everything within you tells you not to. Dean thinks it will be simple, but one phone call from Bobby leads to a case that just may get him caught - and the hunt for Dean Winchester is on. Dean finds a new friend and ally, while Sam discovers what it is to truly be left behind as he and Bobby race against the clock to find his brother before he disappears forever. Armed with a location, the Impala, determination and one Angel of the Lord - will they get to Dean before he can become so much shadow and mist? Or will the secrets and lies be all that Sam and Bobby are left with in the end?
Reccer’s comments: What I like about this is how it consistently deals with Dean’s post-hell issues/PTSD in a way I wish the show would have done. I also really appreciate that it shows all of s4 Sam's flaws while he still comes across as being very sympathetic. Nicely done.
Title: Permanent State
Author: shannon_doll
Tags: age regression (of a sort - there’s a reality ft. older!Sam/younger!Dean,) nausea/vomiting, supernatural illness, supernatural injury/trauma
Genre/pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: R
Word-count: 21,300
Summary: For eight months, one week, and three days Dean has been trapped in supernatural limbo, living out alternate realities of his own life. He can’t control when the world decides to lurch, has no power over what version of himself comes next and why. Dean’s only concern is to get back to Sam, but time, he realizes, is running out.
Reccer’s comments: Written with such feeling. I went through the emotions right along with Dean as he jumped from reality to reality, and the ending is thoroughly satisfying, and well-earned. This is such a compelling read.
Title: The Sky’s Gonna Break
Author: smallnstealthy & invaderwitch @ efflorescencia
Tags: blindness, deafness, hallucinations, loss of voice, nausea, fever, wing!fic, supernatural illness
Genre/pairing: Dean/Sam (Michael/Lucifer)
Rating: NC-17
Word-count: 39,000
Spoilers: season 5
Warnings: Character illness in Part One. More warnings available at fic post.
Summary: The end is near and things are bad. Monsters roam the streets like wild dogs, awaiting the call of their master. The Winchesters do what they can to help those struggling to survive, but when something powerful starts screwing with Dean, breaking him down piece by piece, the boys are forced into isolation. While Dean suffers, Sam searches for answers, desperate to keep his brother fighting as Dean has always done for him. The morning Dean wakes up with a pair of huge, beautiful wings attached to his back, everything changes. With Castiel missing, their only ally is an archangel they can't trust; their only hope is their faith in each other. It might be just enough to beat the devil. An alternate fifth season ending. Liberties taken with some season five canon.
Reccer’s comments: I’ve gotta say, wing!fic has never been a big thing of mine, but the summary piqued my interest. I’m SO glad I read this. What a fabulous post-apocalyptic world the authors have created, and reading about the Winchesters changing relationship in this new world was a delight. Brilliant, and stunningly hot besides.
Title: The Angel and The Devil, Heavy On Your Shoulders
Author: toldthestars
Tags: hallucinations, hell/post-hell issues, psychological damage, suicidal ideation
Genre/pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: R
Word-count: about 35,000, give or take
Spoilers: Season 4.
Warnings: Available at fic post.
Summary: This AU jumps the tracks a little after the beginning of season four. The Apocalypse is coming and hopes of saving the world are dim. Dean’s been sprung from Hell, but isn’t quite off the rack. Sam’s determined to help his brother deal with the side-effects of forty years in the Pit, until he’s hit with a nameless illness. Dean struggles to do the best for Sam, while navigating nightmarish visions, angry angels, and his own conscience. In trying to save each other, the boys lose their way in a world where enemies and allies, good and evil, and love and hate bleed together into a gray fog. In the end, Sam and Dean discover that it isn’t about right and wrong, it’s about what you can or can’t live with.
Reccer’s comments: This is creepy and mysterious and the twist caught me totally off-guard in an awesome way.
Title: The Minor Fall and the Major Lift
Author: withdiamonds
Tags: Dean's deal, grief, psychological trauma, ep: "All Hell Breaks Loose"
Genre/pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: R
Word-count: 26,200
Spoilers: Spoilers for "All Hell Breaks Loose 1&2."
Warnings: Character death, obviously
Summary: When Sam dies bloody in the mud at Cold Oak, he faces a choice. His soul can move on to wherever it is souls go, or he can stay and try to help his brother deal. Sam refuses to leave Dean alone with his grief and so he stays, hoping his presence will ease Dean's pain. There's really nothing that can do that, though, and Sam's unseen presence only makes things worse. Then Dean goes and finds himself a crossroads demon.
Reccer’s comments: This is so much more than a retelling of “All Hell Breaks Loose I & II." It expertly explores what we didn’t see onscreen as well as the inner-workings of the characters. withdiamonds' spare writing style is awesome, especially when getting into Dean's headspace. Dean’s grief following Cold Oak could have been overpowering, but instead it’s restrained while still feeling sharp and real.
To be read:
Note: Tags in this section were compiled by me checking out the fic summaries, various delicious accounts, or using the tags the author used if they posted the fic at this comm. They may not be 100% accurate in all cases.
Title: Blind Faith
Author: adrenalineshots
Possible tags: drug reaction/interaction, blindness
Characters: Dean, Sam, Bobby
Genre/pairing: Gen
Rating: R
Word-count: 102,000
Spoilers: Season 5 AU, set right after ‘Abandon all Hope’.
Warnings: language; some gorish and violent imagery, depending on the sensibility of who reads; plus, major disability of main character.
Summary: With the end of days looming, the oldest secret of ancient times is about to resurface. A call for help from Castiel lures the Winchesters and Bobby to Egypt, where a new facet of Lucifer's plan stirs. Hindered by their unorthodox traveling arrangements, Dean will struggle against a new definition of himself and the one thing that has become the Winchesters greatest fear: old prophesies.
Title: Any Little Song that You Know
Author: cho_malfoy @ chomalfoyfics
Possible tags: nightmares
Characters: Mary, Dean, Sam, Ellen, Bobby, Pamela, other canon characters.
Genre/pairing: Gen
Rating: PG-13
Word-count: 31,500
Spoilers: through 5x22, major character death
Warnings: violence/gore and language
Summary: Mary Campbell lives, and the world is changed: Detroit has been destroyed, and a dream nearly tears Dean apart. Add demons to the mix, and a hunter named Sam who tries to kill Dean, and the Campbells are set on two different paths that lead to the same end: an abandoned convent in Ilchester, Maryland.
Title: Amria
Author: chocca2
Possible tags: curse/spell, psychological issues
Characters: Dean, Sam, Bobby, Missouri
Genre/pairing: Gen, brief Dean/OFC
Rating: R
Word-count: 20,192
Warnings: violence, some graphic scenes and language
Summary: Nebraska rustles Dean’s memories, both good and bad and unfortunately for Dean, he’s not the only one who remembers the past. Sophia, daughter of Costello died in the spring of 2004. The Rumanian Roma clan were devastated by her death so much so they made a vow that whoever was responsible would pay. Still bitter at their loss, Sophia’s family accuses Dean. Unaware of the curse they laid on him, Dean faces his worst enemy - a manifestation of his guilt - himself. Sam, Bobby and Missouri must find a way to help break the curse, before it breaks him.
Title: Waiting for the Hint of a Spark
Author: edenbound
Possible tags: blindness
Characters: Dean, Sam, Castiel, Bobby, God
Genre/pairing: Gen
Rating: PG-13
Summary: When Lucifer rises, Dean gets blinded. Of course, that doesn't stop people from thinking he's still meant to save the world. Oh, and God's an asshole. Contains angst, AU, God as a character.
Title: Bad Moon Rising
Author: laru_tan_repus
Possible tags: ep: Devil’s Trap. undiagnosed/mysterious
Genre/pairing: Dean/Sam
Rating: NC-17, just to be safe.
Word-count: around 80k.
Spoilers: Devil’s Trap, S2 spoilers abound, plus the Yellow-Eyed Demon's true name.
Warnings: violence, light sexual content (very softcore porn) and some noncon kissing/groping.
Summary: A season two AU; casefic meets Wincest. John died instantly in the car accident, leaving Sam with survivor's guilt and a fear of driving. Several months later, Meg's taunts about Dean's feelings for Sam hit close too home. The boys reach some conclusions of their own about incest, but in Burbank, Oklahoma, Dean vanishes in the dead of night, and Sam's attempts to find him yield only a nest of demons. The next day, Sam finds Dean at the hospital, alive and well, if oddly distant. Whatever's up with Dean will have to wait, though; something in the hospital is nastily killing patients one by one, and that's nothing to Yellow-Eyed Demon's budding plans for Sam.
Title: Safe Haven
Author: morning_sunlite
Possible tags: abandonment issues, crying!dean, fever, infection, injury, pain: emotional
Characters: Dean, Sam, John, Jim Murphy
Genre/pairing: Gen
Rating: PG-13
Word-count: 23,890
Spoilers: Pre-series.
Summary: Eighteen year old Dean knew in his head that it was his choice to leave after that last fight with John, but in his heart he never expected his father to take Sam and move on without him. Not knowing where else to turn after life on his own proves more than he can handle, a desperate Dean turns to the only safe haven he can think of… Pastor Jim. Jim tries hard to heal the damage caused by Dean’s split with his family, but some things aren’t so easy to fix.
Title: The Secrets of Copper Country
Author: on_verra
Possible tags: crying!Dean, curse/spell, psychological damage, mind control
Genre/pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: NC-17
Word-count: 23k
Spoilers: Post-series (so, spoilers for all aired eps thru S5 just to be safe, but goes vaguely AU before the S5 finale).
Warnings: See pairing. Major dub-con, D/s kink, blatant abuse of classic children's literature.
Summary: On a tip from an old friend, Sam and Dean take on a case in Copper Country, a remote part of northern Michigan. Stuck for the winter in a grand old estate, isolated from the rest of the world until spring comes, they find themselves taken over by a mysterious force that seems to come from a locked garden on the estate grounds, perpetually in bloom - making them confront harsh truths about themselves, and do things they might not otherwise do. Loosely inspired by The Secret Garden, by Frances Hodgson Burnett. (If you know the novel well, you may be able to pick up loads of references, but it's not necessary in order to follow the story. *G*
Title: All Roads Lead to the Same Destination
Author: pavonine @ pavonine_fic
Possible tags: supernatural illness
Genre/pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: R
Word-count: 39,000
Spoilers: Spoilers up to 5.14 and parts of 5.19/5.20
Summary: It's a Supernatural Choose Your Own Adventure! Sam and Dean are after Pestilence's first vessel, and of course it's much harder than it should be. Besides hunting down a Horseman, Sam and Dean say to hell with the world for one careless night, get smashed, and distort their brotherly relationship, maybe this time for good. The days after become a mix of surfaced, uncomfortable feelings; a vain attempt to capture Pestilence's ring; and another showdown against an angel after them to say yes. Maybe all roads do lead to the same destination, or maybe you can control your own destiny after all.
Title: In this Hollow Valley
Author: xxamlaxx
Possible tags: hell/post-hell issues, non-con, dub-con, torture
Genre/pairing: Alastair/Dean, Sam/Dean, Castiel/Dean, Lilith/Ruby
Rating: NC-17
Word-count: 36,000
Spoilers: No Rest For the Wicked
Warnings: Graphic torture, noncon, dubcon, disturbing imagery, violence, blood-play, semi-graphic death of a child, mature language, some cannibalism, character deaths, and two brief instances of watersports used as religious metaphors. Please proceed at your own caution. I would not advise clicking the links below if you are uncomfortable with any of the things I have warned for; this is a graphic story only suitable for mature audiences.
Summary: AU beginning after No Rest For the Wicked. Dean wakes up on the rack to an eternity of torture at Alastair's hands. Meanwhile, Castiel and several of his brothers embark on a mission to rescue Dean from Hell before he can give in and break the first seal. After forty years of fighting, Castiel reaches Dean, only to find that the righteous man is no longer righteous. Castiel resurrects Dean so that he can play his part in the coming Apocalypse. Once back on the surface, Dean has trouble adjusting to life the way everyone (himself included) expects him to. Hell changed him, and he's not so sure if he can or wants to change back.
Special note: Although I haven't read this one personally yet, it was recced in the Dean/Alistair rec-post I'm currently putting together. JUST SO YOU KNOW. ;)
got recs?
browse the recs @ the comm
browse the recs @ our delicious rec account, for advanced searching
I’ve been somewhat good at keeping up with and reccing fics from spn_reversebang, but I totally wasn’t any good at keeping up with/reccing fics from spn_j2_bigbang 2010. Sooooo, I made a list of the ones that looked interesting to me.
And below is a list from THAT list of fics of all the fics that include - or look like they might possibly include - Dean-focused h/c. Most have reccer’s comments with them; if they don’t, that means I haven’t read them yet. Also, I did make a few teeny Big Bang rec posts before and I’ve re-posted those recs here along with the new ones to make the list more complete, if you get déjà-vu.
So, this is part rec-post, part fic-list, different than how I usually do things, but I thought maybe some of you might find it helpful if you’re behind in your reading too! ;)
P.S. If you have any other similarly themed recs, (or self-recs), please leave them in the comments to this post so that others can check them out.
spn_j2_bigbang 2010 fic recs + To Read fic-list:
Read and reviewed:
Title: The Mad Road
Author: bellatemple
Tags: drugs (psychiatric), hospitalization (psychiatric), mental illness, self-harm, sleepwalking, suicide attempt, supernatural injury/trauma
Characters: Dean, Jo, Sam, Bobby, etc.
Genre/pairing: Gen.
Rating: Adult, for language, violence, and themes
Word-count: 47000
Spoilers: through "Dark Side of the Moon"
Warnings: Available at fic post.
Summary: On October 31st, 2005, Sam Winchester wakes up to find someone rummaging through his kitchen. It's his father, with bad news: his brother's dead, and the thing that killed him is coming to Palo Alto. Weeks later, Jo Harvelle follows a lead on her missing boyfriend to a mental health facility and meets a man, dressed in half-scrubs, half-flannel, with bandaged wrists and paranoid tendencies. His name is Dean Winchester, he knows more than he possibly could, and convincing his family he's not really dead would only be half their problem -- if Jo can help him find them...
Reccer’s comments: Whoah. This has got to be one of the most well-thought-out and plotted stories I’ve read in this fandom. It’s twisty and turny and compelling and just so CLEVER. I was so impressed by how awesome and smart it was I actually had this look on my face when I finished reading it: :-o True story, bro.
I also really appreciate how it deals with all of Dean’s issues in this nice, subtle way.
Title: Carouselambra
Author: brihana25 @ brihana25_fic
Tags: ep: “Faith," PTSD, carried!Dean, panic attacks, childhood trauma, non-con, supernatural injury/trauma
Characters: Sam, Dean, Bobby, John
Genre/pairing: Gen. (angst, drama, h/c, brotherly love)
Rating: R
Word-count: 41,100
Spoilers: Takes place between Faith and Route 666.
Warning: dark, disturbing, and potentially triggery content. More info at fic post.
Summary: Eight years after a hunt with John and Bobby that ended in disaster, Sam and Dean return to Johnston, Iowa for what looks to be a simple job. It isn't long before they realize that things are not always what they seem, and it's not so easy to escape a horror that refuses to stay dead. The reality of the situation flies in the face of everything they know about spirits and forces them to confront their biggest fears. With one Winchester struggling against a nightmare that keeps dragging him back under, and the other reeling from the knowledge of what his brother is willing to sacrifice to protect him, they will have to find the strength to stand together and defeat the ghost that haunts them both, once and for all.
Reccer’s comments: Yay, case-fic! I love case-fic and this one is wonderfully put-together. It’s a chilling storyline, and the way the author captures the bond between the brothers lends a lovely warmth to the story as well.
Title: Hover Through the Fog and Filthy Air
Author: chiiyo86
Tags: counseling/therapy, drugs (psychiatric), mental illness, psychological trauma, PTSD, suicidal ideation, mentioned suicide attempt
Characters: Sam, Dean, OCs
Genre/pairing: Mostly gen. (OMC/OFC, OFC/OFC)
Rating: R
Word-count: 29,000
Spoilers: Lucifer Rising
Warnings: Language, mentions of a suicide attempt, PTSD flashbacks, disturbing imagery.
Summary: AU after “Lucifer Rising.” 2013 - The demon war ended three years ago with Lucifer’s death. Sam and Dean, now living in Portland, Oregon, are learning how to live after a violent war that destroyed part of the country and left both of them weary and broken. As they decide to start hunting again, a friend tells them about a potential case - strange human-shaped shadows are attacking people in the night. In the small town of Government Camp, lost in the mountains, they find out this hunt is the consequence of something darker and uglier than they could imagine…
Reccer’s comments: I don’t know that I’ve read many fics that delve this deeply into the psychological scars the Winchesters are sure to wear forever once the war is over, but it’s a story I'm very interested in. chiiyo86 tells it with much empathy and understanding of both brothers, and to top it off there’s a great casefile going on! I’d also like to point out that this story has many hopeful moments despite it’s subject matter.
Title: Bury Me In Fire
Author: deadbeat_nymph
Tags: nausea/vomiting, nightmares, post-hell issues, PTSD, rash/hives, self-harm
Genre/pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: NC-17
Word-count: approximately 32,000
Spoilers: General spoilers for Season 4. Story begins at the start of Season 4 and goes AU shortly thereafter.
Warnings: Extremely dark and explicit recollections of Hell; post-traumatic stress disorder; memories of a painful childhood; alcohol abuse; smoking; self-mutilation; kink including spanking, a sort of hook-up with a stranger(OC), D/s elements; mentions of bodily functions, including a vomiting scene.
Summary: People are dying mysteriously all over the Northeast and the boys head there to investigate. They plod through the case, Dean distracted by his memories of Hell, nightmares, shame, guilt, fear, a bad stomach and a weird rash, Sam distracted by Dean's torment. Sam wants to help Dean, but Dean just wants to sublimate his desperation through work. As the case flounders, the brothers' relationship begins to mutate. If they can just figure out what's going on, catch the creature and kill it, fix Dean's body and heal his mind, and settle things between them, things might actually be okay. Also, there's comfort food, a perfect small town in Upstate New York, and maybe a surprise or two. Please read warnings carefully.
Reccer’s comments: As the author said, do read the warnings! Despite them, though, I found this fic to be one of the most feel-good Big Bangs I’ve read this year. Yes, there’s serious angst, but there’s hope too, plus the caring Sam I longed for in season 4. This fic is just so wonderfully full of emotion and warmth.
Title: Luminous
Author: devilsduplicity @ pickthelock
Tags: drugged, drugs (supernatural), kidnapping, psychological trauma, non-con, Stockholm Syndrome, torture
Characters: Dean, Sam, Castiel, Lucifer, Bobby
Genre/pairing: Dean/Castiel, Dean/Lucifer, hints of Michael/Lucifer pre-slash
Rating: R
Word-count: 33,500
Spoilers: Spoilers up to 5.03, where it branches off to AU.
Warnings: Non-con, scenes of torture, some religious themes.
Summary: Lucifer is best at two things: Manipulation and Deceit. Castiel hasn't been Castiel for a very long time, and with nothing left to hold onto, Dean spirals down into a pit of torture and degradation. When the Devil kicks Castiel out of Jimmy's body, he weaves a world of lies around Dean's life that is so carefully interwoven with reality, no one is the wiser. Dean kills, thrills, and eventually strings himself out on Heaven's equivalent of crack cocaine, and at the end of this long journey of royally screwing himself over, Lucifer, in possession of Castiel's vessel, spirits Dean away for a little "quality time" together. Add in flashbacks of Lucifer's time in Heaven, the slow dissension between two angelic brothers, and The End Of The Apocalypse, and we've got ourselves a mighty fine time.
Reccer’s comments: I like how Dean retained his Dean-ness throughout all of Lucifer’s manipulations of him, and I like that he re-gains some of his trust in the end, but not everything is wrapped up overly neatly. An engaging read.
Title: One Thing I Don't Believe In
Author: essenceofmeanin
Tags: anxiety/panic attack, memory loss/amnesia, nightmares, supernatural trauma
Genre/pairing: M/M sex, some Dean/Castiel.
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Dean Winchester and Castiel don't manage to stop the apocalypse, but they do find God. In reward, God gives Dean a new beginning, a new life. He is reborn in 1979 into a normal life with his parents, John and Mary Winchester and later, his brother Sammy. Life isn't perfect - Dean is plagued by nightmares, panic attacks and memories he doesn't know are his own.
Reccer’s comments: Ohhh. This is heartbreaking and happy-making at the same time. (Mostly heartbreaking.) Dean’s new reality is expertly drawn and beautiful, then beautifully bittersweet when his old reality begins to bleed into his consciousness.
Fyi, I read this mostly as gen.
Title: The Time-Traveler's Brother
Author: gretazreta
Tags: age regression (kind of - the age differences are caused by time travel) crying!Dean, injury
Genre/pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: R
Word-count: 44,000
Spoilers: AU following canon through s5.
Warnings: Adult content. No strong warnings but see Author's notes for specifics.
Summary: His whole life, Dean Winchester travels through time, forwards and backwards, but he always comes back to Sam. Dean doesn't believe in destiny, but if it does exist, his is Sam. This story is inspired by Audrey Niffenegger's The Time-Traveler's Wife.
Reccer’s comments: This isn’t actually THAT h/c-y, but it’s amazing and deserves a read (or ten!) I’m probably the last person in the world who hasn’t read The Time Traveler’s Wife, but if it’s anything like this I’m going to have to get on that! I love the layered complexity of the storytelling, and how the author makes it look easy, and I lovelovelove the way it takes the fact that Dean and Sam revolve around each other to a different, even higher level.
Title: Over the Hills and Far Away
Author: hansons_angel
Tags: chronic illness, fever, hospitalization, kidney disease, organ failure, pneumonia
Characters: Dean and Sam Winchester. Bobby Singer. Castiel. Some John Winchester. Some OC’s.
Genre/pairing: Gen
Rating: PG-13 for language.
Word-count: approximately 56,900
Spoilers: General spoilers for any episode in seasons 1-5.
Warnings: Available at fic post. Do check them out if you're a sensitive reader.
Summary: This isn’t a story about the Apocalypse. It’s not even really a story about demon hunting and the supernatural, though all these things are featured. It’s an AU story about the deep bond that brothers have, and the lengths they’ll go to for each other, beginning when Sam and Dean Winchester are children, and Sam needs a kidney transplant. It’s not about one brother over the other, but the idea that, without one brother there isn’t the other. It’s an exploration of sacrifice and unconditional love, the study of what family can mean -- what it should mean. It’s about love and despair, fear and grief, heroism and ultimately -- hope.
Reccer’s comments: hansons_angel is one of my fave sick!Dean writers, so I decided to read this despite the fact that I knew the subject matter would be difficult for me to read, as I’m sure it is to write. And it was difficult - this is one of the most realistic depictions of chronic illness I’ve read, in fic or otherwise - but the brother’s relationship and bond is just GORGEOUSLY written, and I encourage you to give it a try.
Title: Last Child
Author: jackfan2
Possible tags: burns, cuts/lacerations, drugs/drugged, electrocution, fever, infection, injury, kidnapping, torture
Genre/pairing: Gen
Rating: R
Word-count: 90,000
Spoilers: Season one.
Warnings: Contains graphic torture. Mentions of child molestation, though not to main characters. Only the prologue gets a little... intense on the molestation.
Summary: An eight year old story of violence and blood shed resurfaces with new victims and clues enough to attract the Winchester’s. In route to investigate, illness sidelines the younger brother leaving Dean to hunt alone. It was a path that both agreed they'd avoid at all costs and Dean soon finds himself lured into a trap. In a race against time, the brothers embark on separate journeys: Dean to save the last child from a brutal ending; and Sam, to save Dean from becoming the next play thing at the hands of a monster neither of them is prepared for.
Reccer’s comments: Yay, I love a good, long casefile I can sink my teeth into! The torture scenes were disturbing to read, but I really liked that the human element in this story came across as being just as creepy as the supernatural element. That's one of my fave fic scenarios, and one I wish they'd deal with on the show more often.
Title: I See the Moon
Author: kaylennz
Tags: amnesia, grief, head injury, migraine, pain
Genre/pairing: Wincest, AU. Sam/Dean, mentions prior Dean/OFC, prior Sam/Jess.
Rating: PG-13
Word-count: 88,097
Warnings: Amnesia fic, Dean as a father.
Summary: Sam had known how Dean felt about him when he'd left for Stanford. His own feelings weren't so clear. He'd needed time away from it all, hunting, his father, and especially Dean. It took him five years and a degree he hadn't planned on to realize there was only one person he wanted to share his life with. He'd never considered the possibility that Dean would move on without him...or that something could happen that would erase him from his brother's life completely.
Reccer’s comments: A beautifully written and touching fic about Sam and Dean finding their way back to each other. There is daddy!Dean, fyi, and I’ve only read a few of those that work for me - this one definitely included.
Title: Perspectives
Author: PhoenixDragon (a-phoenixdragon)
Tags: hell/post-hell issues, PTSD
Characters: Dean, OMC, Sam, Bobby
Genre/pairing: Gen
Rating: R
Word-count: 114,907
Spoilers: Metamorphosis
Warnings: AU, Dark!Fic, Language, Violence, Torture, Heavy Angst
Summary: Set AU from S4.04 'Metamorphosis', this is a what-if based on Dean's discovery of Sam's secret mere minutes after coming back from the past: Told from the viewpoints of Dean, Sam and Bobby, this tale is about choices, none of them easy and how those same choices can carry into the future. Sometimes all you can do is walk away, even when everything within you tells you not to. Dean thinks it will be simple, but one phone call from Bobby leads to a case that just may get him caught - and the hunt for Dean Winchester is on. Dean finds a new friend and ally, while Sam discovers what it is to truly be left behind as he and Bobby race against the clock to find his brother before he disappears forever. Armed with a location, the Impala, determination and one Angel of the Lord - will they get to Dean before he can become so much shadow and mist? Or will the secrets and lies be all that Sam and Bobby are left with in the end?
Reccer’s comments: What I like about this is how it consistently deals with Dean’s post-hell issues/PTSD in a way I wish the show would have done. I also really appreciate that it shows all of s4 Sam's flaws while he still comes across as being very sympathetic. Nicely done.
Title: Permanent State
Author: shannon_doll
Tags: age regression (of a sort - there’s a reality ft. older!Sam/younger!Dean,) nausea/vomiting, supernatural illness, supernatural injury/trauma
Genre/pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: R
Word-count: 21,300
Summary: For eight months, one week, and three days Dean has been trapped in supernatural limbo, living out alternate realities of his own life. He can’t control when the world decides to lurch, has no power over what version of himself comes next and why. Dean’s only concern is to get back to Sam, but time, he realizes, is running out.
Reccer’s comments: Written with such feeling. I went through the emotions right along with Dean as he jumped from reality to reality, and the ending is thoroughly satisfying, and well-earned. This is such a compelling read.
Title: The Sky’s Gonna Break
Author: smallnstealthy & invaderwitch @ efflorescencia
Tags: blindness, deafness, hallucinations, loss of voice, nausea, fever, wing!fic, supernatural illness
Genre/pairing: Dean/Sam (Michael/Lucifer)
Rating: NC-17
Word-count: 39,000
Spoilers: season 5
Warnings: Character illness in Part One. More warnings available at fic post.
Summary: The end is near and things are bad. Monsters roam the streets like wild dogs, awaiting the call of their master. The Winchesters do what they can to help those struggling to survive, but when something powerful starts screwing with Dean, breaking him down piece by piece, the boys are forced into isolation. While Dean suffers, Sam searches for answers, desperate to keep his brother fighting as Dean has always done for him. The morning Dean wakes up with a pair of huge, beautiful wings attached to his back, everything changes. With Castiel missing, their only ally is an archangel they can't trust; their only hope is their faith in each other. It might be just enough to beat the devil. An alternate fifth season ending. Liberties taken with some season five canon.
Reccer’s comments: I’ve gotta say, wing!fic has never been a big thing of mine, but the summary piqued my interest. I’m SO glad I read this. What a fabulous post-apocalyptic world the authors have created, and reading about the Winchesters changing relationship in this new world was a delight. Brilliant, and stunningly hot besides.
Title: The Angel and The Devil, Heavy On Your Shoulders
Author: toldthestars
Tags: hallucinations, hell/post-hell issues, psychological damage, suicidal ideation
Genre/pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: R
Word-count: about 35,000, give or take
Spoilers: Season 4.
Warnings: Available at fic post.
Summary: This AU jumps the tracks a little after the beginning of season four. The Apocalypse is coming and hopes of saving the world are dim. Dean’s been sprung from Hell, but isn’t quite off the rack. Sam’s determined to help his brother deal with the side-effects of forty years in the Pit, until he’s hit with a nameless illness. Dean struggles to do the best for Sam, while navigating nightmarish visions, angry angels, and his own conscience. In trying to save each other, the boys lose their way in a world where enemies and allies, good and evil, and love and hate bleed together into a gray fog. In the end, Sam and Dean discover that it isn’t about right and wrong, it’s about what you can or can’t live with.
Reccer’s comments: This is creepy and mysterious and the twist caught me totally off-guard in an awesome way.
Title: The Minor Fall and the Major Lift
Author: withdiamonds
Tags: Dean's deal, grief, psychological trauma, ep: "All Hell Breaks Loose"
Genre/pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: R
Word-count: 26,200
Spoilers: Spoilers for "All Hell Breaks Loose 1&2."
Warnings: Character death, obviously
Summary: When Sam dies bloody in the mud at Cold Oak, he faces a choice. His soul can move on to wherever it is souls go, or he can stay and try to help his brother deal. Sam refuses to leave Dean alone with his grief and so he stays, hoping his presence will ease Dean's pain. There's really nothing that can do that, though, and Sam's unseen presence only makes things worse. Then Dean goes and finds himself a crossroads demon.
Reccer’s comments: This is so much more than a retelling of “All Hell Breaks Loose I & II." It expertly explores what we didn’t see onscreen as well as the inner-workings of the characters. withdiamonds' spare writing style is awesome, especially when getting into Dean's headspace. Dean’s grief following Cold Oak could have been overpowering, but instead it’s restrained while still feeling sharp and real.
To be read:
Note: Tags in this section were compiled by me checking out the fic summaries, various delicious accounts, or using the tags the author used if they posted the fic at this comm. They may not be 100% accurate in all cases.
Title: Blind Faith
Author: adrenalineshots
Possible tags: drug reaction/interaction, blindness
Characters: Dean, Sam, Bobby
Genre/pairing: Gen
Rating: R
Word-count: 102,000
Spoilers: Season 5 AU, set right after ‘Abandon all Hope’.
Warnings: language; some gorish and violent imagery, depending on the sensibility of who reads; plus, major disability of main character.
Summary: With the end of days looming, the oldest secret of ancient times is about to resurface. A call for help from Castiel lures the Winchesters and Bobby to Egypt, where a new facet of Lucifer's plan stirs. Hindered by their unorthodox traveling arrangements, Dean will struggle against a new definition of himself and the one thing that has become the Winchesters greatest fear: old prophesies.
Title: Any Little Song that You Know
Author: cho_malfoy @ chomalfoyfics
Possible tags: nightmares
Characters: Mary, Dean, Sam, Ellen, Bobby, Pamela, other canon characters.
Genre/pairing: Gen
Rating: PG-13
Word-count: 31,500
Spoilers: through 5x22, major character death
Warnings: violence/gore and language
Summary: Mary Campbell lives, and the world is changed: Detroit has been destroyed, and a dream nearly tears Dean apart. Add demons to the mix, and a hunter named Sam who tries to kill Dean, and the Campbells are set on two different paths that lead to the same end: an abandoned convent in Ilchester, Maryland.
Title: Amria
Author: chocca2
Possible tags: curse/spell, psychological issues
Characters: Dean, Sam, Bobby, Missouri
Genre/pairing: Gen, brief Dean/OFC
Rating: R
Word-count: 20,192
Warnings: violence, some graphic scenes and language
Summary: Nebraska rustles Dean’s memories, both good and bad and unfortunately for Dean, he’s not the only one who remembers the past. Sophia, daughter of Costello died in the spring of 2004. The Rumanian Roma clan were devastated by her death so much so they made a vow that whoever was responsible would pay. Still bitter at their loss, Sophia’s family accuses Dean. Unaware of the curse they laid on him, Dean faces his worst enemy - a manifestation of his guilt - himself. Sam, Bobby and Missouri must find a way to help break the curse, before it breaks him.
Title: Waiting for the Hint of a Spark
Author: edenbound
Possible tags: blindness
Characters: Dean, Sam, Castiel, Bobby, God
Genre/pairing: Gen
Rating: PG-13
Summary: When Lucifer rises, Dean gets blinded. Of course, that doesn't stop people from thinking he's still meant to save the world. Oh, and God's an asshole. Contains angst, AU, God as a character.
Title: Bad Moon Rising
Author: laru_tan_repus
Possible tags: ep: Devil’s Trap. undiagnosed/mysterious
Genre/pairing: Dean/Sam
Rating: NC-17, just to be safe.
Word-count: around 80k.
Spoilers: Devil’s Trap, S2 spoilers abound, plus the Yellow-Eyed Demon's true name.
Warnings: violence, light sexual content (very softcore porn) and some noncon kissing/groping.
Summary: A season two AU; casefic meets Wincest. John died instantly in the car accident, leaving Sam with survivor's guilt and a fear of driving. Several months later, Meg's taunts about Dean's feelings for Sam hit close too home. The boys reach some conclusions of their own about incest, but in Burbank, Oklahoma, Dean vanishes in the dead of night, and Sam's attempts to find him yield only a nest of demons. The next day, Sam finds Dean at the hospital, alive and well, if oddly distant. Whatever's up with Dean will have to wait, though; something in the hospital is nastily killing patients one by one, and that's nothing to Yellow-Eyed Demon's budding plans for Sam.
Title: Safe Haven
Author: morning_sunlite
Possible tags: abandonment issues, crying!dean, fever, infection, injury, pain: emotional
Characters: Dean, Sam, John, Jim Murphy
Genre/pairing: Gen
Rating: PG-13
Word-count: 23,890
Spoilers: Pre-series.
Summary: Eighteen year old Dean knew in his head that it was his choice to leave after that last fight with John, but in his heart he never expected his father to take Sam and move on without him. Not knowing where else to turn after life on his own proves more than he can handle, a desperate Dean turns to the only safe haven he can think of… Pastor Jim. Jim tries hard to heal the damage caused by Dean’s split with his family, but some things aren’t so easy to fix.
Title: The Secrets of Copper Country
Author: on_verra
Possible tags: crying!Dean, curse/spell, psychological damage, mind control
Genre/pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: NC-17
Word-count: 23k
Spoilers: Post-series (so, spoilers for all aired eps thru S5 just to be safe, but goes vaguely AU before the S5 finale).
Warnings: See pairing. Major dub-con, D/s kink, blatant abuse of classic children's literature.
Summary: On a tip from an old friend, Sam and Dean take on a case in Copper Country, a remote part of northern Michigan. Stuck for the winter in a grand old estate, isolated from the rest of the world until spring comes, they find themselves taken over by a mysterious force that seems to come from a locked garden on the estate grounds, perpetually in bloom - making them confront harsh truths about themselves, and do things they might not otherwise do. Loosely inspired by The Secret Garden, by Frances Hodgson Burnett. (If you know the novel well, you may be able to pick up loads of references, but it's not necessary in order to follow the story. *G*
Title: All Roads Lead to the Same Destination
Author: pavonine @ pavonine_fic
Possible tags: supernatural illness
Genre/pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: R
Word-count: 39,000
Spoilers: Spoilers up to 5.14 and parts of 5.19/5.20
Summary: It's a Supernatural Choose Your Own Adventure! Sam and Dean are after Pestilence's first vessel, and of course it's much harder than it should be. Besides hunting down a Horseman, Sam and Dean say to hell with the world for one careless night, get smashed, and distort their brotherly relationship, maybe this time for good. The days after become a mix of surfaced, uncomfortable feelings; a vain attempt to capture Pestilence's ring; and another showdown against an angel after them to say yes. Maybe all roads do lead to the same destination, or maybe you can control your own destiny after all.
Title: In this Hollow Valley
Author: xxamlaxx
Possible tags: hell/post-hell issues, non-con, dub-con, torture
Genre/pairing: Alastair/Dean, Sam/Dean, Castiel/Dean, Lilith/Ruby
Rating: NC-17
Word-count: 36,000
Spoilers: No Rest For the Wicked
Warnings: Graphic torture, noncon, dubcon, disturbing imagery, violence, blood-play, semi-graphic death of a child, mature language, some cannibalism, character deaths, and two brief instances of watersports used as religious metaphors. Please proceed at your own caution. I would not advise clicking the links below if you are uncomfortable with any of the things I have warned for; this is a graphic story only suitable for mature audiences.
Summary: AU beginning after No Rest For the Wicked. Dean wakes up on the rack to an eternity of torture at Alastair's hands. Meanwhile, Castiel and several of his brothers embark on a mission to rescue Dean from Hell before he can give in and break the first seal. After forty years of fighting, Castiel reaches Dean, only to find that the righteous man is no longer righteous. Castiel resurrects Dean so that he can play his part in the coming Apocalypse. Once back on the surface, Dean has trouble adjusting to life the way everyone (himself included) expects him to. Hell changed him, and he's not so sure if he can or wants to change back.
Special note: Although I haven't read this one personally yet, it was recced in the Dean/Alistair rec-post I'm currently putting together. JUST SO YOU KNOW. ;)
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