What is important? What's really important?
I havent finished a thing since I started my life
I dont feel much like starting now.
So you know when you ask the world for something, and it takes its sweet, sweet time delivering it, for reasons that only it knows? And then when you DO get what you wanted, you get it all at once and it's so painfully overwhelming that you want to curl up in a ball and cry all day, whereas before you wanted to curl up in a ball and cry all day because you had nothing? Yeah. Love that about life.
Walking out lonely has worked like a charm
Im the only one I have to let down.
But watching you makes me think that that is wrong.
I can go on with my insecure nature
I can keep living off sympathy.
I can tell all the people that all of the success
Is a direct reflection on me.
But watching you makes me think that that is wrong.
I have never feared failure, because there is always something to be learned. I have learned incredible life lessons from both of my "failed" relationships, from "failing" at friendships, "failing" at auditions, "failing" at deadlines, "failing" at social situations, the list goes on. All of those situations have opened doors to new adventures or important changes. But what I truly fear is the awful word "success".
What is important? Whats really important?
Am I not to know by my name?
Will I ever know silence without mental violence?
Will the ringing at night go away?
Once you achieve, once you create something beautiful, something meaningful, once you touch people and affect people, once you are at this level, you have to maintain it. That strikes fear deeper in my heart than any failure you can name. Once you reach a level of having "expectations".....I don't even have words.
I moved here to create, to live, to make connections with the people I love and the people I have yet to meet who I will love too. I moved here to "succeed". But most days I'm too afraid to do it.
Its up to you.
Originally published at katiehood.com.
I dont feel much like starting now.
So you know when you ask the world for something, and it takes its sweet, sweet time delivering it, for reasons that only it knows? And then when you DO get what you wanted, you get it all at once and it's so painfully overwhelming that you want to curl up in a ball and cry all day, whereas before you wanted to curl up in a ball and cry all day because you had nothing? Yeah. Love that about life.
Walking out lonely has worked like a charm
Im the only one I have to let down.
But watching you makes me think that that is wrong.
I can go on with my insecure nature
I can keep living off sympathy.
I can tell all the people that all of the success
Is a direct reflection on me.
But watching you makes me think that that is wrong.
I have never feared failure, because there is always something to be learned. I have learned incredible life lessons from both of my "failed" relationships, from "failing" at friendships, "failing" at auditions, "failing" at deadlines, "failing" at social situations, the list goes on. All of those situations have opened doors to new adventures or important changes. But what I truly fear is the awful word "success".
What is important? Whats really important?
Am I not to know by my name?
Will I ever know silence without mental violence?
Will the ringing at night go away?
Once you achieve, once you create something beautiful, something meaningful, once you touch people and affect people, once you are at this level, you have to maintain it. That strikes fear deeper in my heart than any failure you can name. Once you reach a level of having "expectations".....I don't even have words.
I moved here to create, to live, to make connections with the people I love and the people I have yet to meet who I will love too. I moved here to "succeed". But most days I'm too afraid to do it.
Its up to you.
Originally published at katiehood.com.