Itâs such a waste of time
Hard to update much when everything you do is self focused. I'm either working on my play or looking for a job or looking for something, ANYTHING to do.
Ahh Brooklyn, Brooklyn take me in
Are you aware the shape Im in?
My hands they shake, my head it spins
Ahh Brooklyn, Brooklyn take me in
This past week was quiet - no major trips in to the city, no plans with friends, just laying low. I like to think it's gearing up for some kind of insanity that sits in my near future. This feeling of standing on the edge of a cliff, just waiting to be pushed off, the free falling that is soon to occur, but you have to sit and twiddle your damn thumbs until it does.
Load the car and write the note
Grab your bag and grab your coat
Tell the ones that need to know
We are headed north.
Yes this is a blog post to say I have nothing to say. It is more self reflection and obsession. Yesterday I talked about all the opportunities I had to come back to Ontario earlier than this past fall. But hindsight being what it is, I can see how wrong it would've been.
One foot in and one foot back
But it dont pay to live like that
So I cut the ties and I jumped the track
For never to return
When Jon & I talked about breaking up (about 5 months before we actually did), I remember telling him that I would go back to Ontario and that would be it. So when we did break up I started packing suitcases, prepared to be moving to Ontario shortly after. It was a fear reaction, having no place to go, no one to lean on, no idea how my life could possibly go on.
When at first I learned to speak
I used all my words to fight
With him and her and you and me
Ahh, but it's just a waste of time
Yeah its such a waste of time
Yet those times of my life are the ones I will remember most vividly. Sitting in my "new home", having no idea how I would make it mine, how I would make life mine. Those are the memories and emotions that fuel me now. Being the helpless female, having lost my way from my man, who was supposed to shield me from all the awful things life would throw at me. Who was supposed to support me and hold me up and keep me going.
Three words that became hard to say:
I and Love and You.
What you were then I am today,
Look at the things I do
Now I am a complete. I don't need a second half to be. It's been a long journey, a worthwhile one.
Ahh Brooklyn, Brooklyn take me in
Are you aware the shape Im in?
My hands they shake, my head it spins
Ahh Brooklyn, Brooklyn take me in
This past week was quiet - no major trips in to the city, no plans with friends, just laying low. I like to think it's gearing up for some kind of insanity that sits in my near future. This feeling of standing on the edge of a cliff, just waiting to be pushed off, the free falling that is soon to occur, but you have to sit and twiddle your damn thumbs until it does.
Load the car and write the note
Grab your bag and grab your coat
Tell the ones that need to know
We are headed north.
Yes this is a blog post to say I have nothing to say. It is more self reflection and obsession. Yesterday I talked about all the opportunities I had to come back to Ontario earlier than this past fall. But hindsight being what it is, I can see how wrong it would've been.
One foot in and one foot back
But it dont pay to live like that
So I cut the ties and I jumped the track
For never to return
When Jon & I talked about breaking up (about 5 months before we actually did), I remember telling him that I would go back to Ontario and that would be it. So when we did break up I started packing suitcases, prepared to be moving to Ontario shortly after. It was a fear reaction, having no place to go, no one to lean on, no idea how my life could possibly go on.
When at first I learned to speak
I used all my words to fight
With him and her and you and me
Ahh, but it's just a waste of time
Yeah its such a waste of time
Yet those times of my life are the ones I will remember most vividly. Sitting in my "new home", having no idea how I would make it mine, how I would make life mine. Those are the memories and emotions that fuel me now. Being the helpless female, having lost my way from my man, who was supposed to shield me from all the awful things life would throw at me. Who was supposed to support me and hold me up and keep me going.
Three words that became hard to say:
I and Love and You.
What you were then I am today,
Look at the things I do
Now I am a complete. I don't need a second half to be. It's been a long journey, a worthwhile one.