(no subject)
Wow...this site actually makes me so nostalgic. I really miss the active live-journal days. Updates would be so much more than just statuses trying to impress people, links trying to get attention and pics that show off that you actually are cool and have friends. People would just write to write and get things off of their minds. It was a way to look at our friends and aquaintances on a different level and actually hear what they have to say for themselves. Facebook is so superficial now and is basically a replica of reality television on the internet, but within our own lives. Anyways...
I'm writting this because I have to. I need to just scream at the top of my lungs and this is how close I am to getting there. My life is good, but there is just so much life tension...not even stress bcause normally I like stress...but there's alot to be said.
I hate the game so much. I meet a guy, I don't like him, I cute him off right away. I meet a guy, he doesn't like me, I don't hear from him, I cut him off right away. I meet a guy, I like him and it seems as if he likes me as well. So what happens from this point on? What do you do? This just seems to be such a grey area from me and I have no idea what to do, nonetheless no idea what to do to get the whole situation off of my mind. Usually, to get a guy out of my mind I just move on to the next. I can't move on to the next in a situation like this because not do I feel like its morally wrong but I genuinely believe that there is some sort of force of Karma that comes along with the whole "playing the field" thing. Once I hook up with another guy to get this whole situation off of my mind (which i NEED to get off of my mind to stay sane) I feel like along with the act, comes the fate of any potential relationship with this guy crumbling to pieces. And then comes the whole question of...how can I be so insane after ONE date with someone. There really needs to be set rules with dating. Oh when I become president of the world....
My living situation is driving me nuts. I hate sleeping on a bedfram. Especially one that isn't secure to the ground. The cans with the diatomaceous earth that my parents got me to put under all 7 posts of the bed are making my bed unsecure and my bed is sliding around. But not int he way where everything is sliding around insync. The weight around the bed posts is shifting around from side to side and the center supports collapsed today to one side and my mattress )which is crazy thin to begin with) went crashing to the ground, along with myself. I semi fixed it by tightening the screw for the centre beam but who knows how long that will last. Alot of my home life is spent on my bed and now I can't be sure if its even going to hold me up without breaking. It just really sucks. I fuckin hate bed frames.
I'm writting this because I have to. I need to just scream at the top of my lungs and this is how close I am to getting there. My life is good, but there is just so much life tension...not even stress bcause normally I like stress...but there's alot to be said.
I hate the game so much. I meet a guy, I don't like him, I cute him off right away. I meet a guy, he doesn't like me, I don't hear from him, I cut him off right away. I meet a guy, I like him and it seems as if he likes me as well. So what happens from this point on? What do you do? This just seems to be such a grey area from me and I have no idea what to do, nonetheless no idea what to do to get the whole situation off of my mind. Usually, to get a guy out of my mind I just move on to the next. I can't move on to the next in a situation like this because not do I feel like its morally wrong but I genuinely believe that there is some sort of force of Karma that comes along with the whole "playing the field" thing. Once I hook up with another guy to get this whole situation off of my mind (which i NEED to get off of my mind to stay sane) I feel like along with the act, comes the fate of any potential relationship with this guy crumbling to pieces. And then comes the whole question of...how can I be so insane after ONE date with someone. There really needs to be set rules with dating. Oh when I become president of the world....
My living situation is driving me nuts. I hate sleeping on a bedfram. Especially one that isn't secure to the ground. The cans with the diatomaceous earth that my parents got me to put under all 7 posts of the bed are making my bed unsecure and my bed is sliding around. But not int he way where everything is sliding around insync. The weight around the bed posts is shifting around from side to side and the center supports collapsed today to one side and my mattress )which is crazy thin to begin with) went crashing to the ground, along with myself. I semi fixed it by tightening the screw for the centre beam but who knows how long that will last. Alot of my home life is spent on my bed and now I can't be sure if its even going to hold me up without breaking. It just really sucks. I fuckin hate bed frames.