The Bonds that We Save: Epilogue
Four Days Later
Standing outside the door to the conference room, Gibbs stared down at the folder in his hands. He had been standing there for a couple minutes, trying to get his thoughts in order. He knew as much as he wanted Cathy as far away from their son as possible, she was still Tim’s mother. She had made, in his mind, unforgivable mistakes that had almost killed their son twice over, but Tim still loved her. If she was still steeped in her addiction, he wouldn’t have any trouble denying her access to Tim, but not only was she now sober, she had also come to NCIS with the voicemail that had been so crucial to finding Tim in time. So Gibbs had worked with the district attorney and with Cathy’s lawyer. They had hammered out a deal that would be best for everyone. Cathy would not do jail time. Instead, she would be on probation for seven years. She would have to go to counseling and take parenting classes. She would also only be able to see Tim in supervised visits.
He was also worried about his son. It had been four days since he had been rescued, and Tim had yet to talk about it at all. He had retreated within himself, and that reminded Gibbs of when Tim had first moved in. At times, he felt all the progress Tim had made in the last few months had been for naught and they were back to square one.
Taking in a deep breath, Gibbs opened the door and walked over to the table and sat down. Dressed in a business suit, Cathy was sitting across from him, her hands had a death grip on a cup of coffee. Her lawyer, Mrs. Ruiz, was an older woman closer to Ducky’s age and was sitting next to her.
Opening the folder in his hands, Gibbs said in a tone of voice he used with suspects, “Here is the deal we talked about …”
Cathy interrupted in a rush. “How’s Tim?”
Clearing his throat in irritation, Gibbs answered, “He is resting at home. Once the swelling goes down on his ankle, the doctor believes he will only need to have a walking cast.” He had informed Cathy of Tim’s injury a few days ago. He had offered to place a call so that she could talk to Tim directly, but she had declined stating that she wanted to wait to hear from the judge as far as what her future concerning Tim would be.
“So no surgery?” Cathy questioned anxiously.
“No, he will not need surgery. He will just need to use crutches,” Gibbs said before pushing the papers he needed her to sign across the table.
“That’s good. Good,” Cathy repeated distractedly as she reached for the papers and placed them in front of her. “And Shea?’
It was a fair question, but Gibbs just wanted to get this meeting over with and get back home. Tim had plenty of company, as Jackson, Ducky, and Jude were there, but Gibbs had developed an almost paranoid fear that if Tim was out of his sight for more than a few minutes, something else would happen to him.
Testily Gibbs said, “Thanks to the journals, and O’Shaughnessy flipping on Shea, he is going to go to prison for a long time.” O’Shaughnessy had been looking at first degree murder charges and had agreed to testify if the death penalty was taken off the table. This had relieved Gibbs, as he did not want Tim to have to face the hit man in court and testify about the cold-blooded murder of Liam Thomas.
“Good. Good.” Cathy looked down at the papers like they might bite her.
Gibbs placed a pen next to her hand, in the hopes of Cathy taking the hint and signing the damn papers.
Cathy glanced at Gibbs quickly before she looked at her lawyer and said, with tears gathering in her eyes, “I can’t do it.”
Her lawyer said in a kind voice, “Are you sure?”
“Can’t do what?” Gibbs asked in anger, his voice rose, he was afraid she was backing out of their deal. As far as Gibbs was concerned he had been more than generous. She could’ve been facing prison time, and to try to back out now was more than Gibbs could handle at the moment.
Ignoring Gibbs’ words, Cathy firmly said, “I’m sure.”
Mrs. Ruiz withdrew a folder of her own from her briefcase and opened it; she removed papers and pushed them across the table to Gibbs. Still waiting for an explanation, he didn’t even bother to pick them up.
“Ms. McGee has realized the original deal would not be in her or Tim’s best interest,” Ms. Ruiz said, unfazed by Gibbs’ refusal.
Gibbs couldn’t help the streak of fear that went through him. What if Cathy tried to take Tim away? Honestly, he couldn’t see a judge giving her full custody, but he could see her getting partial unsupervised visitation. Gibbs didn’t trust Cathy as far as he could throw her; he definitely did trust her to spend time alone with Tim. He picked up the papers with apprehension.
What he read stunned him. “You are giving up your parental rights?” he asked in shock.
Answering with a tremor in her voice, Cathy twisted her hands together. “Yes. It’s better this way. I can’t handle being a mom right now.”
Mrs. Ruiz laid a hand on Cathy’s arm and said, “We went to a judge this morning. Cathy asked to give up custody of Tim and have her probation set in Arizona, where she already has a residence as well as a job. The judge agreed but on the condition that you would sign off on the new terms.”
Cathy leaned forward, and for the first time, she didn’t appear nervous; instead she was excited. “I just received notice that I got a job at the university, even after I explained my situation. Plus, since I am working there, I will get a discount, so I can take classes and finally finish my degree,” she said, her enthusiasm growing with each word.
At Gibbs’ blank look, she continued, “I can’t stay here. I doubt I could get such an offer ever again, especially with my record.”
“What about Tim?” Gibbs asked incredulously. He could care less if Cathy just disappeared into the Arizona desert, but Tim would be devastated that once again he was being abandoned by his mother.
Cathy at least had the decency to look troubled, although barely. “When I came out here, I had some sort of fantasy that included Tim and me back in Arizona, but he has a family here with you now. I can’t stay and with taking classes and working, I realized I can’t take care of him.”
Cathy looked guilty for a minute and then said to Gibbs, “Please don’t tell Tim this, but honestly, I don’t want to stay. I want to start over.” Then, in a low voice, she continued, “I want the life that I could’ve had before I got pregnant. I love Tim, but I can’t be any sort of parental figure for him now. I need to concentrate on me. One day, I’ll be in a better place to be a mom …”
Gibbs sat back in shock. He couldn’t believe one person could be so selfish.
Cathy put her hands together in a pleading motion. “Please. This deal only works if you sign off on it. Tim and I could still write to each other, and I would call him all the time. I still want to be in his life. I love him, but I need this.”
Gibbs hesitated. He didn’t want Tim to blame him for this. As little as he thought of Cathy, with supervised visits, she could still be a good for Tim.
With a sigh he finally reached forward, and picking up the pen he signed the agreement.
“I’ll make sure you get a copy,” Mrs. Ruiz said, gathering the papers.
“I want to explain to Tim,” Cathy said, “At the very least, the news should come from me.”
Gibbs weighed the pros and cons of that. On one hand, this time, Tim would at least get an explanation from his mother, on the other hand, hearing it from Gibbs might be better because then Tim could decide if he wanted to see his mother again. Gibbs knew no matter how this went down, Tim would be devastated. Finally, with his heart hurting for his son and the coming days, he said, “I’ll break the news to him, and if he wants to see you after that, I will set it up, but I will not force him to.” Standing abruptly, Gibbs left the room without a backward glance.
~NCIS~
Two months later
Jude finished rinsing up the last of the dishes and, placed the last glass on the drying rack. Even though he was done, he stood at the sink and looked out the window, watched Tim who was on crutches make his way gingerly down the dirt path. Arthur was jogging a few feet in front, stopping when he smelled something interesting, until Tim caught up with him; then the pup would continue on. Tim had offered to help with the washing, but Jude had insisted that Tim needed to get off his feet and rest his ankle. He still had a walking cast on his leg and if he walked on it for too long, his leg would ache. Jude was still worried that even though the Tim had grown quite proficient with his crutches, he was one wrong move from doing a header and ending up with two broken limbs. When Jude saw his friend reach the bottom of the hill, he let out a sigh of relief. Tim sat down at the picnic table next to the river that flowed gently past the cabin they were staying at. Gibbs, Tony, and most of the others were down by the river where they were hoped to catch enough fish for this evening’s supper.
Turning away, Jude thought that cabin probably wasn’t the right word. It was a two story house set in the Appalachian Mountains. Since everyone had been invited, they had ended up renting something a bit larger then what Gibbs would normally get. Actually staying at the house were Tim, Jackson, and Gibbs, as well as Ducky and himself, and Abby and Tony. Jackie, Vance, and the kids were staying in a house down the way. They would arrive this afternoon, and everyone was to meet for dinner this evening. So it was a pretty busy place.
Thinking about joining Tim, Jude grabbed his jacket off the hall tree, and an envelope fell from the inside pocket onto the floor.
“Damn it,” he ground out as he pushed his arms through the sleeves.
“Here I’ll get that for you my boy,” Ducky said from behind him.
Startled at the sudden appearance of the Doc, Jude jumped and then said, “Oh, it’s okay.”
“No problem …” Ducky’s voice trailed off as he read the front of the envelope. Wide-eyed, he turned to Jude. “This is your GED results.”
Jude knew he was busted, so he said, “Yeah I received them right before we left.”
Turning the envelope gently in his hand, Ducky said, “You haven’t opened it,” leaving the question of why in the air.
Jude settled for shrugging his shoulders, unsure if he wanted Ducky to ask or not.
Hearing voices coming up the walkway, Ducky said kindly, “Why don’t we take this into the living room.”
Jude nodded, and they went into the living room, and shut the sliding doors before they sat down on the couch and Ducky handed over the envelope. Flipping it over and over in his hands, Jude said, “I was too afraid of what it said to open it.”
Ducky turned towards him and said gently, “Jude, even if you didn’t pass, you can always take the test again.”
“I know,” Jude said softly. Taking in a deep breath, he slipped his finger under the lip of the envelope and opened it. He pulled the packet and read it.
“I passed,” Jude said with wonder.
“Well done. I knew you could do it!” Ducky said enthusiastically patted Jude on the back in congratulations.
Jude who couldn’t help smiling back at Doc’s excitement.
“What do you plan to do next?” Ducky asked.
Jude shrugged, stood, and walked across the room before he turned and said, “I know I turn eighteen next year, but I was hoping you would let me stay until I could get a job and save up enough money to afford my own apartment.”
Ducky looked taken a back. Then he walked over to Jude and standing before him and he said, “I think there has been a bit of a miscommunication. Jude, when I offered you a home, it wasn’t just to put a roof over your head. I also hoped that you would become part of my family. I think we have muddled through these past eight months just fine. Don’t you?”
Jude nodded because they had made a good team. So maybe they could also be a family? He shook his head, however, “But I don’t want to take advantage of you. You are too generous for your own good,” he said weakly.
Ducky waited until Jude met his gaze and then said, “As my family, I want you to live with me until such a time as you want to be on your own. Don’t leave out of some misplaced sense of protecting me, but only when the time is right, when you have the skills to have the brilliant future that I know you can have. And even when you do live elsewhere, I still want you and I to be a family. Do you understand?”
“Yes,” Jude whispered. He couldn’t believe his but looking into Ducky’s kind eyes, he saw the Doc was telling the truth. Jude felt a surge of relief sweep through him, and he let go of the last bit of anxiety and fear that he hadn’t even been aware he had been holding onto since his father’s death.
Ducky drew him into his arms for a heartfelt hug and said, “Just know I love you.”
Jude held on tightly, allowing himself to relax and finally feel he was home.
As they drew apart, Ducky said energetically, “Now that that is settled, I ask again. What do you want to do next?”
Bolstered by Ducky’s acceptance of him and the fact that he now had a family, Jude felt brave enough to say, “I wanted to go to the local JC and maybe start taking classes to get my nursing degree.”
“That is a marvelous career choice. The nurses I have met throughout my career are some of the most caring people. I can loan you a biography I have of Florence Nightingale,” Ducky said excitedly.
Jude couldn’t help grinning, “Thanks, Doc, I will definitely want to read it. But I have to admit I am unsure where to start, as far as schooling goes.”
“I think we should take Florence’s advice on that one. She once said, ‘So never lose an opportunity of urging a practical beginning, however small, for it is wonderful how often in such matters the mustard-seed germinates and roots itself.’ I know several nurses who have become instructors. We can contact them and they will be able to steer us in the correct direction,” Ducky said.
Jude felt lighter than he had felt in a long time. He wasn’t alone. He didn’t have to have all the answers; he could rely on his family. “Thanks, Ducky.”
“No problem, my boy,” Ducky said. “And if you have any more misgivings, just come to me, and we will talk about it.”
Jude nodded. “I was going to go down to the river and see if they had any luck. Do you want to come with?”
“Yes of course.”
They got their jackets on and started down the dirt path.
“It reminds me of the time I was in the Andes …”
Jude couldn’t help fondly smiling at the man walking next to him as he listened to his story that somehow involved llamas, an overturned canoe, and a man that sounded a lot like Sir David Attenborough.
~NCIS~
Tim sat down on the bench, leaned against the pine tree that was conveniently next to the picnic table, and swung his busted leg up, resting it along the bench. It twinged a bit as his ankle was still healing, and being on the uneven ground caused Tim to have to move it in unexpected and slightly painful ways. However he kept that bit of information to himself, worried that Gibbs would want to leave, and he wouldn’t trade being up here for anything.
Arthur sniffed a few trees and then settled down underneath the table.
Shutting his eyes, Tim took in a deep breath and just allowed the smell of the forest and the sounds of the wind gently drifting through the trees, the water rushing past, to relax him. Further down the hill, he could hear Tony, Ziva, and Jackson talking softly as they cast their lines in the water. His father only spoke up every once in a while when a question was asked of him, otherwise he was quiet.
Keeping his eyes closed with his arms folded across his body, Tim allowed the warmth of the sun to soak into his body and make him sleepy. He hadn’t felt this relaxed in a long time. As his mind drifted, he thought about school and how he would be in all regular classes in September as he had finally passed his last test and now was fully caught up with the rest of the students. He was also more hopeful now about the possibility of having friends at school. There had been a few students from his school who had had to take summer school as well, and they had all gotten to know each other during the month of July. They had invited Tim to sit with them at lunch, so things were looking up from last year, when Tim sat by himself the whole time.
Then his thoughts drifted almost unbidden to the letter that was resting within the pages of his new journal his mom had given him. The letter was from his mother, the first of many promised. Tim had hope that the two of them would stay in regular contact but at the same time he had learned to manage his expectations where Cathy McGee was concerned, with the help of Dr. Patterson and his dad. Not that it didn’t hurt when a promised phone call or Skype chat never came to be, but he knew she was trying, so in turn he just tried to remind himself of who she was and what he could expect.
When his father had come home after seeing Cathy and her lawyer, Tim had known the information wasn’t going to be good just from the look on his face. After his father had explained, Tim had agreed to meet his mom. His thoughts were frozen in denial. His mom, who had just come back into his life, was now leaving. It didn’t feel real. It wasn’t until the three of them met at a café near the airport a week later that Tim realized it was true.
Tim and Cathy had gotten a booth, and Gibbs had sat a few booths behind Cathy to give them some space but also to stay within Tim’s eyesight should he need anything. Tim listened intently to what his mother had to say. The way she explained why she had to leave made sense, but at the same time, it hurt badly. He didn’t want to break down in front of her and make her feel worse, so every time he was close, he would look over Cathy’s shoulder and watch Gibbs sip his coffee and pretend to read his newspaper, and it helped. They only stayed a half hour, as his mom had a plane to catch, and in the end Tim had given her a brief yet awkward hug.
The drive home had been silent and fraught with tension and unshed tears, though once at home, the hug he had given his father in the driveway had been heartfelt, and Tim was finally able to let go of everything. Liam, Shea, O’Shaughnessy, the kidnapping, his mom, and her leaving him once again. They had talked long into the night, Gibbs, Jackson, and himself. His father and grandfather had allowed him to vent, cry, and basically just listened. It had helped. A lot.
Now, with a few months distance, Tim realized that maybe this was for the best for everyone. Although she loved him, his mother wasn’t ready to be a mom at least not a full time one. Gibbs on the other hand was more than willing to be a full time parent; he had opened his heart and his home to a kid who had showed up at his doorstep.
Tim wanted to trust in his mother’s sobriety and her new start, but he didn’t. How many times had he and his mother started over? Too many for him to count. Maybe her new start would work out better without him. Gibbs, on the other hand, was a rock; Tim knew he could rely on him.
With that comforting thought, Tim allowed the sound of the river to lull him into a light doze.
~NCIS~
Gibbs stood and stretched and then added his latest catch to the fishing cooler. He was at his limit for the day, so he took his line out of the water, and then rested his fishing rod against a tree. With what the group had caught, he was sure they would have enough fish for dinner this evening, so with a wave to Tony and Ziva, he grabbed the duffel bag next to his chair and walked up the hill until he was standing next to Tim. Looking down at his son, Gibbs couldn’t help the sigh that escaped him. Tim had been through so much in the year he had known of him, but at the same time he had come out of that year with so much strength.
When he had left that meeting with Cathy, Gibbs had been so angry that he had driven around D.C. for a couple hours before returning to home to deliver the news to Tim, who had accepted the information with a kind of shell-shocked look on his face. Gibbs had been worried about how Tim would handle meeting with Cathy, but his son had insisted he wanted to see his mom before she left. Tim had surprised him. He had been composed and understanding to a woman who deserved neither. He had held it together until they had gotten home, but as soon as they pulled into the driveway, Gibbs had opened his arms and Tim had flown into them, and all the emotion Tim had held in since his kidnapping had come tumbling out.
Gently brushing a stray lock of hair off his son’s forehead, Gibbs said, “Hey, Tim.”
Tim blinked sleepily up at him and then smiled, which had Gibbs smiling in return.
“You still up for this?”
Excited, Tim sat up. He gently, carefully lowered his broken ankle under the table. “Yes. I really want to learn.”
When Tim had first expressed an interest in trying woodcarving again, Gibbs had been uncertain but he had thought maybe enough time had passed, and also trying it in a different location, would make the difference. He placed the duffel bag on the table just as Ducky and Jude arrived, and that had Gibbs asking, “Jude, do you want to join us for some woodcarving 101?”
Jude answered with an enthusiastic, “Yes.” He sat down across from Tim, with Ducky sitting next to him.
“Okay, first off, what are the safety rules?” Gibbs asked. He had been having the boys repeat the rules on and off over the last couple of days backwards and forwards until both knew them like the back of their hands. As the boys once again recited them, he took all of the safety equipment and wood carving tools out of the duffel and laid them out.
When the boys were done, Gibbs said, “First things first. Put on your gloves.” The gloves protected their hands from any cuts that may occur.
Both Tim and Jude slipped the gloves on their hands while Gibbs put safety knives next to each of them. Then he said, “Are you ready?” with a twinkle in his eye.
“Yes,” the boys chorused with enthusiasm.
Their smiles dimmed in confusion when Gibbs plunked down two sweet potatoes in front of them. Enjoying their bewilderment for a moment, with a shared look of amusement with Ducky, Gibbs then set about explaining why they were starting with a vegetable. How they were easy to carve and thus made the perfect medium for beginner carvers to work with.
The boys looked dubious, but then they picked up the potatoes and started following Gibbs’ instructions, which were interspersed with Ducky’s thoughts and anecdotes. Jackson joined them just in time to enter his own advice into the mix. And by the time Tony and Ziva also came up hill with their catch for dinner, both Jude and Tim had carved respectable faces into their sweet potatoes.
Everyone praised the boys’ efforts, and Gibbs stowed the gear back into the duffel bags so they could practice more tomorrow. Then the talk turned to lunch, and the group started up the hill. Tim hung back and helped Gibbs make sure he had everything, then he surprised Gibbs by giving him a hug and saying, “Thank you.”
“For what?” Gibbs asked, a little surprised.
“For everything,” Tim said with a shrug as they also started up the hill, Arthur running back and forth between the two groups and barking excitedly. Then, in an almost whisper, Tim said, “I love you.”
Gibbs slung his arm around Tim’s shoulders and said softly, “I love you, too.”
As the group made their way back up to the cabin, Gibbs couldn’t help but feel truly blessed in that moment. He had a family again.
The End.