Feels like a million years
So theres somethings to talk about I suppose. Been working alot theis summers been going ok thusfar. I am going out to Montana on Thursday for five days for Ross' wedding. Should be a blast. I miss that guy and his whole family will be there too so thats cool. It does suck that I have to leve Haley here. I will miss her. I won't miss the fights we seem to keep having though. Or maybe not fights but just disagrements. I have come to realize I will never be able to look past what happen almost two years ago. I know that makes me an idiot but oh well I'm an idiot. I've lived with being an idiot this long. It just seems like she is depressed when were together alot. I think thats what she wants. I mean to feel depressed. She says she was unhappy with her first boyfriend and they went out for I belive over a year. And then there was Josh who from what I understand aside from being a human piece of shit who dosn't deserve a slow death made her misrable as well. She saya I make her happy and she does smile but more o\ften then not in the last few weeks the smiles get further and further apart. I mean maybe she is a depressive and this is an ideal relatinship to her but not for me. I can't stand the idea of her not being happy. I also don't want to say her having a mere conversation with a certain someone has made things harder but that would be a lie. At the same time I think that certains omene derives a sick pleasure from such things but so be it. It is what it is. Thats my new philospohy. It is what it is. I want things to get better and I want this to last untill the earth has dissapeared into the havens and the heavens have dissapeared into the furthest reaches imaginable. I just have a strong feeling that that is ot the fate that is ahead. We have practicly broken up more then a few times in the past two weeks initiated by both of us equally. I am at a loss of what to do. I just read soemthing that kind of depressed me so I'm just going to go. Moxy Fruvouse Fly.....