My Decision - "Boys Rule Book"
Ok well i finally hit the REAL reality check. All guys report back to, what i like to call, the "Boys Rule Book" and in that "rule book", the # 1 rule is to CHEAT, LIE, AND BREAK HEARTS. Well damn. Dont i feel like the object of that rule. Yes i do. Well today i learned my lesson. I've finally allowed myself to drop all the boys i had claimed to be talking to. I found out that catching feelings only leads to a broken heart and thats exactly what has happened to me. I allowed myself to care for a boy and ultimately allowed myself to get hurt by him. Today I found myself telling him to go his own way while i go mines. I mean come on. The situation was getting out of hand and i had to let that go. I know Ive said many times before that i wanted to let this person go and never have but this time was it. My ex told me to watch out because there was a good chance i might get played by him. I understood what he said and came to the conclusion that Im sick and tired of boys. They know what kind of girl i am. Im not some roller girl that has sex with a boy every time he hints at me that he's feeling me. No Im the relationship type. Ive made my mistake of having sex with a boy with no feelings attached. We werent together at all. It was just a heat of the moment type thing. Thats something i had to learn from. No longer will i let that happen. It was my first and last time of doing that. TRUST. Ok now back to what my ex was telling me, he told me that the boy i was talking to was a person that acts like he will wife u in the beginning, eases his way on in, and finally gets down to what he really wants after he has "got u", which is sex. It hit me hard because thats exactly what happened with me and the boy. I know hes my ex but sometimes we look out for each other, just the kind of relationship we have. A give and take type thing. I help u, u help me type of relationship. But yeah Im not talking to any boys for a while. Im not looking for a companion. If he finds me, then its all good but Im not saying Ill give him a chance. I can do fine all by myself with male friends and nothing more. I just need time to figure out who Kristine is and what she wants out of life. Only time will tell. I dont really want to spend my days alone but if thats what is gonna keep me from getting hurt again, then, hey, thats what im going for. The single life isnt easy but Ive gotta do it. And all by myself. I have no one else, but myself, to blaim for me getting hurt so many times. I figured out that I catch feelings too easily for a boy. I dont know why, but i do. And thats another thing I will work on while Im spending my valuable time getting to know Kristine. So Im gonna end this here so I can begin my journey of learning the ropes of being me.
TO BE CONTINUED...
TO BE CONTINUED...