fic: of almost everything (part 4/?)
Title: Of Almost Everything (4/?)
Rating: G
Characters/Pairings: Rory, River, Eleven, Amy (Rory/Amy, Rory + River, Amy + Eleven, Eleven/River)
Wordcount: ~1050
Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who.
Summary: Rory has to pretend to be the Doctor.
A/N: Semi-cracky gen fic. This part also has a bit of drama.
Part 1. Part 2. Part 3.
Sorry for the delay - RL and all that. I usually avoid posting WiPs for just that reason, but hoped this fic would be an exception. *facepalm*
There were only three of them, and they stood quite still, but something about these newcomers commandeered the attention of the entire street. Their dark, bulky armour was ominous. The rods they all held were imposing. Their - thankfully - still holstered weapons looked decidedly unsavoury.
A few of the locals fled into shops; most of them simply fell still, clutching their purchases awkwardly.
The Doctor turned his head in about fifteen directions before homing in on the invaders. "Judoon..." he said, in a final kind of way.
"Are they the ones who sent out the wanted notice?" asked Amy. "And what kind of heads do they have under those helmets? Shouldn't you hide or something?"
Only a dozen shops separated these Judoon from the Doctor... and the enormous iridescent holographic soap bubble he was standing beneath wasn’t exactly inconspicuous.
"Invasion," said the Doctor, quite obviously to himself. "HA!" And then he set off toward the Judoon, weaving between the shoppers.
The Judoon, as one, set off toward him. They didn't weave as much as they elbowed.
Amy caught up with the Doctor, her heels making an inordinate amount of noise now that everyone else was quiet. "We're doing something, yeah? Despite River's journal entry?"
"That can just write itself." The Doctor stopped abruptly, straightened his bowtie-less collar and his not-tweedy lapels. He whipped off his hat and pressed it into Amy's hands. "Very important... don't assault the Judoon. They don't like it."
Amy, who had eyed a few discarded hard-looking fruit-like things nearby, pursed her lips and put on the hat.
Rory tugged at the tweed jacket. He was acutely aware of it.
"Are you getting along with the jacket?" asked River, pointedly. She had grown tense; the streets in this part of town were narrower, decidedly darker, and full of criss-crossing shadows.
"I have a Roman breastplate in my closet," he said. "This feels oddly normal. It's just... I just... it's not mine."
"You're doing fine."
"Glad to hear that." Rory reached out and patted her on the shoulder - surely that was an appropriate sign of marital affection somewhere.
River frowned. "The walk, though... Could you make it a bit more -"
"I've tried. I think he must have more joints than I do."
"There's that. How do you feel about tripping over that pebble? Just stumble a bit. I'll catch you."
"I feel like I would sprain my ankle and you would have to carry me. Is that okay with you?"
"You're not an optimist, are you?" She took a step closer to him, lazily entwined her arm with his. "A man is watching us. To the left, in the shadows."
At this, Rory stumbled all on his own. He forced himself to look at River's face and not toward the shadowy bit of street ahead. "Is it the harmless sort of person or the... other sort? Should we talk to him?"
"I don't think he matters," she said, but steered them every so slightly further to the right.
"But you're not sure?"
River grinned, which didn't seem entirely appropriate. "So, Doctor, I'm curious... How would you deal with an invasion? Hypothetically?"
The Judoon stopped as well, not three feet from the Doctor. Amy kept to the side, near the fruit-things. Just in case.
The crowd finally moved; pulled back. Half of the locals stared, transfixed, at Amy and the Doctor. The other half stared at the three invaders.
Somewhere in the distance, an alarm started to shriek.
The Doctor stared at the Judoon-in-the-middle, and announced: "Judoon Leader! You're looking for me!"
The angle of the Judoon Leader’s helmet changed minutely; the alien looked the Doctor over.
"Go ahead; scan me. You're looking for me. Confirm it."
The Leader raised the imposing-looking rod and waved it in the Doctor's face. A moment passed, and then another one, and then he said: "No."
Rory took a deep breath and tried to put the man in the shadows out of mind. They must have passed him by now, anyway, and out of sight... "Hypothetically, I would use my words. And then I would run."
River grinned wider. "Works almost every time. How would you rescue me from a hotel where everyone else is a Zygon?"
"Is that a trick question?"
"Oh, no. Hotel. Zygons. Me. Chemise."
He cleared his throat. "I'd... trip the fire alarm."
She laughed. "That would work. I prefer that to what actually happened."
"What did I actually do?"
"You threw a carpet over yourself and ran down the corridor, shrieking. The dirtiest, smelliest carpet in the entire place."
"Of course I did."
"How do you like your tea?"
Rory shrugged. "Ridiculously sweet on any given Monday."
"Good," said River, slightly distractedly, while she glanced over his shoulder.
He pretended not to notice. "Why are you questioning me?"
"It passes the time."
"No? What do you mean 'no'?"
"No," said the Leader again, in exactly the same way as before.
The Doctor frowned excessively, drew himself up, and generally emanated an air of ancientness. "I'm the Doctor!"
None of the Judoon seemed to care at all.
"You're looking for me."
The Judoon Leader seized the Doctor's hand and drew a fat black line across the back of it with the other end of his scanner rod. Then he turned the rod over again, shouldered the Doctor out of the way, grabbed the nearest young man and scanned him.
The other two Judoon followed suit; people screamed and scattered.
The Doctor hurried after the Leader, gesticulating with his marked hand. "Stop that! I demand to know what I am wanted for! You're looking for me, do you hear! What do you mean 'no'!"
"What did he - I - do? Why am I wanted?" The hairs on the back of Rory's neck stood up; he wanted desperately to turn around.
"In here." River released his arm and nodded to a shop, which, by way of a glaringly yellow sign, proclaimed it was Lisa's Confectionary. "You go first."
The door was open and Rory entered with an impressive stumble (River's hand on his back had a lot to do with that). Inside, the shop was all buttery yellow light and bowls of sweets and -
"Ahh, Doctor! How nice to finally meet you!"
Rory had dreaded a scenario like this (well, minus the confectionary) ever since he'd left the TARDIS in a bowtie... To top it all off, the phrase was delivered - rather theatrically - by a disembodied voice.
Perfect.
Part 5.
Rating: G
Characters/Pairings: Rory, River, Eleven, Amy (Rory/Amy, Rory + River, Amy + Eleven, Eleven/River)
Wordcount: ~1050
Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who.
Summary: Rory has to pretend to be the Doctor.
A/N: Semi-cracky gen fic. This part also has a bit of drama.
Part 1. Part 2. Part 3.
Sorry for the delay - RL and all that. I usually avoid posting WiPs for just that reason, but hoped this fic would be an exception. *facepalm*
There were only three of them, and they stood quite still, but something about these newcomers commandeered the attention of the entire street. Their dark, bulky armour was ominous. The rods they all held were imposing. Their - thankfully - still holstered weapons looked decidedly unsavoury.
A few of the locals fled into shops; most of them simply fell still, clutching their purchases awkwardly.
The Doctor turned his head in about fifteen directions before homing in on the invaders. "Judoon..." he said, in a final kind of way.
"Are they the ones who sent out the wanted notice?" asked Amy. "And what kind of heads do they have under those helmets? Shouldn't you hide or something?"
Only a dozen shops separated these Judoon from the Doctor... and the enormous iridescent holographic soap bubble he was standing beneath wasn’t exactly inconspicuous.
"Invasion," said the Doctor, quite obviously to himself. "HA!" And then he set off toward the Judoon, weaving between the shoppers.
The Judoon, as one, set off toward him. They didn't weave as much as they elbowed.
Amy caught up with the Doctor, her heels making an inordinate amount of noise now that everyone else was quiet. "We're doing something, yeah? Despite River's journal entry?"
"That can just write itself." The Doctor stopped abruptly, straightened his bowtie-less collar and his not-tweedy lapels. He whipped off his hat and pressed it into Amy's hands. "Very important... don't assault the Judoon. They don't like it."
Amy, who had eyed a few discarded hard-looking fruit-like things nearby, pursed her lips and put on the hat.
Rory tugged at the tweed jacket. He was acutely aware of it.
"Are you getting along with the jacket?" asked River, pointedly. She had grown tense; the streets in this part of town were narrower, decidedly darker, and full of criss-crossing shadows.
"I have a Roman breastplate in my closet," he said. "This feels oddly normal. It's just... I just... it's not mine."
"You're doing fine."
"Glad to hear that." Rory reached out and patted her on the shoulder - surely that was an appropriate sign of marital affection somewhere.
River frowned. "The walk, though... Could you make it a bit more -"
"I've tried. I think he must have more joints than I do."
"There's that. How do you feel about tripping over that pebble? Just stumble a bit. I'll catch you."
"I feel like I would sprain my ankle and you would have to carry me. Is that okay with you?"
"You're not an optimist, are you?" She took a step closer to him, lazily entwined her arm with his. "A man is watching us. To the left, in the shadows."
At this, Rory stumbled all on his own. He forced himself to look at River's face and not toward the shadowy bit of street ahead. "Is it the harmless sort of person or the... other sort? Should we talk to him?"
"I don't think he matters," she said, but steered them every so slightly further to the right.
"But you're not sure?"
River grinned, which didn't seem entirely appropriate. "So, Doctor, I'm curious... How would you deal with an invasion? Hypothetically?"
The Judoon stopped as well, not three feet from the Doctor. Amy kept to the side, near the fruit-things. Just in case.
The crowd finally moved; pulled back. Half of the locals stared, transfixed, at Amy and the Doctor. The other half stared at the three invaders.
Somewhere in the distance, an alarm started to shriek.
The Doctor stared at the Judoon-in-the-middle, and announced: "Judoon Leader! You're looking for me!"
The angle of the Judoon Leader’s helmet changed minutely; the alien looked the Doctor over.
"Go ahead; scan me. You're looking for me. Confirm it."
The Leader raised the imposing-looking rod and waved it in the Doctor's face. A moment passed, and then another one, and then he said: "No."
Rory took a deep breath and tried to put the man in the shadows out of mind. They must have passed him by now, anyway, and out of sight... "Hypothetically, I would use my words. And then I would run."
River grinned wider. "Works almost every time. How would you rescue me from a hotel where everyone else is a Zygon?"
"Is that a trick question?"
"Oh, no. Hotel. Zygons. Me. Chemise."
He cleared his throat. "I'd... trip the fire alarm."
She laughed. "That would work. I prefer that to what actually happened."
"What did I actually do?"
"You threw a carpet over yourself and ran down the corridor, shrieking. The dirtiest, smelliest carpet in the entire place."
"Of course I did."
"How do you like your tea?"
Rory shrugged. "Ridiculously sweet on any given Monday."
"Good," said River, slightly distractedly, while she glanced over his shoulder.
He pretended not to notice. "Why are you questioning me?"
"It passes the time."
"No? What do you mean 'no'?"
"No," said the Leader again, in exactly the same way as before.
The Doctor frowned excessively, drew himself up, and generally emanated an air of ancientness. "I'm the Doctor!"
None of the Judoon seemed to care at all.
"You're looking for me."
The Judoon Leader seized the Doctor's hand and drew a fat black line across the back of it with the other end of his scanner rod. Then he turned the rod over again, shouldered the Doctor out of the way, grabbed the nearest young man and scanned him.
The other two Judoon followed suit; people screamed and scattered.
The Doctor hurried after the Leader, gesticulating with his marked hand. "Stop that! I demand to know what I am wanted for! You're looking for me, do you hear! What do you mean 'no'!"
"What did he - I - do? Why am I wanted?" The hairs on the back of Rory's neck stood up; he wanted desperately to turn around.
"In here." River released his arm and nodded to a shop, which, by way of a glaringly yellow sign, proclaimed it was Lisa's Confectionary. "You go first."
The door was open and Rory entered with an impressive stumble (River's hand on his back had a lot to do with that). Inside, the shop was all buttery yellow light and bowls of sweets and -
"Ahh, Doctor! How nice to finally meet you!"
Rory had dreaded a scenario like this (well, minus the confectionary) ever since he'd left the TARDIS in a bowtie... To top it all off, the phrase was delivered - rather theatrically - by a disembodied voice.
Perfect.
Part 5.