fic: of almost everything (part 3/?)
Title: Of Almost Everything (3/?)
Rating: G
Characters/Pairings: Rory, River, Eleven, Amy (Rory/Amy, Rory + River, Amy + Eleven, Eleven/River)
Wordcount: ~1600
Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who.
Summary: Rory has to pretend to be the Doctor.
A/N: Part 1, in which there is some context and part 2, in which bowties are removed.
ETA: Thanks to promethia_tenk for her helpful crit on this and previous chapters. Much appreciated! :)
Rory intended to avoid River's gaze, which naturally led to him immediately catching it. "She's joking..."
River grinned. "Well, to be fair, you are imposing."
He cleared his throat in a not-at-all-awkward way.
"I actually voted for you as the person I'd like to wait out danger with," she said.
"Voted?"
"Oh, it was a hypothetical waiting, of course. A game, Amy's idea. Quite unofficial. Future lazy timeless moment in the TARDIS, you understand."
Rory pursed his lips. "The 's' word."
"Yes. Though I think it's safe to reveal you're also the only person the Doctor would consider growing savoury onions with."
"I'll remember that... Anything else?"
"I can say that Amy and I will have quite an interesting conversation," said River. And then she winked.
A decidedly-awkward warmth took over Rory's face, for some unfathomable reason. To his relief, a great piece of ceiling chose that moment to make a noise, fall down, and catch fire.
"Doctor," growled Amy. "You're tieless! Face it!"
The Doctor clutched at his collar. "There's a draught now. My throat is cold. That is a direct result of my tielessness."
"Mmm, and that pathetic noise you keep making... also a direct result or..?"
"Could be!"
The clouds above were undulating ceaselessly; the sky was all foggy pastels and a suggestion of sunlight. Amy and the Doctor ambled arm-in-arm in the colourful light, heading for what was unmistakably a shopping street. Amy was excited. The Doctor was not. (Indeed, he had been so perturbed he'd taken three steps on the planet surface until he’d realised he hadn't landed the TARDIS, which had made him quite cross, which had manifested itself in an intention to go back inside and lecture River on property and common decency, which had led to Amy intervening, which, in turn, led to the arm-in-arm situation.)
Amy used her free hand to extract the travel folders from her pocket. She thumbed through them. "Where do you want to go first? We've got singing houses, a soap bubble farm, a fairy lights museum…"
"Are those the places River approved?"
"Oh, you're still pouty." She scrunched her face up until her expression was one of faux-concern. "Get over it!"
"I noticed you - she - omitted Lisa's Confectionary and the birthplace of Oom Lamb. They're close, and far from any other sight." He smiled in a much too pleased way. "I've been here before."
"Maybe no one's interested in them anymore? They don't sound interesting."
"When they're popular forty years from now? I don't think so."
She scowled. "I'm going to have to thank River for omitting those."
"Hence, Pond... There's where Rory and River will be."
Rory hefted the (frankly rather small and unimposing) piece of limp fabric that would turn into a bowtie. A hint of noxious smoke was still lingering at the back of his throat, and he bit back a cough.
"Can you tie it?" asked River, who was replacing the fire-extinguisher under the staircase. (The TARDIS had helped them put out the fire and apologised for the interruption. Rory had promised himself he would clean one of her pistons or something as a thank you.)
"I think I'll manage." He unzipped his orange cardigan and threw it on the console seat. His own dark green shirt wouldn't match the bowtie, but at least it didn't have a weird pattern.
She approached him, brushing a great many unruly strands of hair out of her eyes. "I'm not sure the collar works with the tie, but it'll have to do."
He fumbled with the collar and the tie, but somehow it ended up the way it was supposed to be, and almost immediately. "And I'm wearing the Doctor’s bowtie."
"Yes, you are... and it's crooked." She reached toward it; tugged slightly at one loop, then the other. "We have to leave quite soon, are you ready?"
"I have to... impersonate him, haven't I?"
"If you like. It would certainly help if you at least tried."
"Can I have a few minutes to prepare?"
"Not minutes as such. You can have the time it takes to get yourself into the jacket."
"Right," he said, and shortly thereafter, "Right."
"Right," River supplied. Her fingers kept brushing his Adam’s apple and it was not entirely pleasant. It was not entirely unpleasant, either.
"Can't I... get into character?"
"Sweetheart, I hardly think another minute will make pretending to be a few millennia old alien any easier."
"Right. I'll settle for being quite, quite mad, then."
"Sounds about right."
"Any advice? Helpful hints?"
"Be keen, be bold, don’t stop to think." The corners of her mouth twitched upward, and he really did not want to know what she was thinking about. Thankfully, all she said was, "That'll do." She gave the tie another miniscule tug sideways and leaned back. "And that will do."
Rory considered the situation. Once in place, the tie hardly bothered him at all, actually.
"Next step," she said, and held out the tweed jacket.
With her help, he wriggled into it. He could have sworn it felt tight in a few places and that the sleeves were a bit off, but when he rolled his shoulders a moment later, nothing tugged at all; and when he looked down at the sleeves, they fit quite well.
While putting on her own jacket - a thin, blue, waist-length one - River explained it by saying, "The Doctor's clothes are a bit special," which wasn't much of an explanation at all, really.
The lining was quite nice, though, and the tweed smelled like the Doctor (or vice versa, it was oddly comforting nonetheless).
"Time's up," she said, and extended a hand. "Come along. Doctor."
Rory wiped a hand on his trousers - his own dark jeans, thankfully - and took her hand. They headed for the door, and he took a deep breath.
"You behave now!" River called out, and the TARDIS lights flickered in response.
On the other side of the door, Rory took another breath. The air was clear, chilly, and smelled distinctively of cucumber. He glanced up at the magnificent sky and straightened the jacket.
River produced a key from the breast pocket of her blouse and locked the TARDIS.
"You've got a key?"
"Several, darling," she said, replacing it and closing her jacket with an enormous clasp. "She likes variety. Shall we go?"
"We probably should."
"We'll head to the right. It's a bit of a walk."
The Doctor and Amy walked slowly along the shopping street, regularly bumping into shoppers wearing various garish clothes and various imaginative hairdos. Amy looked in the holographic windows; the Doctor looked at his shoes.
"I didn't even get to see what Rory looked like," he said.
She glanced at him. "Shouldn't that be my line?"
"I said it first."
"We'll see him later. I can talk him into keeping your clothes on for a while."
"Or we could see them now. Lots of corners here." He stopped, a gleam in his eye, and tried to free himself from Amy's grip by wriggling his arm a lot. "If River asks, I was very meek and stayed here all the time and did not follow her and I absolutely did not peer around corners."
Amy tightened her grip on his arm lazily. "We're staying. I like the sound of a soap bubble farm."
"We can be their backup. We can hide behind a rubbish container. Rory is clever, and River is clever, but what if they need... one of the Olden equations? Neither of them will know those because you need a brain like mine to even remember them and to apply them you need to -"
"I doubt it."
"Really? If it should happen, how would they manage, do you think?"
She shrugged. "Don't question the power of River's diary."
His face hardened. "You put entirely too much trust in River Song! Remember, future me was last seen in her company and now I'm wanted."
"She promised it wouldn't be dangerous."
"She could have lied! It's easy, you just open your mouth!"
"Ohhh, low points for the Mrs."
"No!"
Amy dropped her voice. "You worry too much."
The Doctor froze; then rubbed his forehead; then nudged his hat a little further back. He looked a tiny bit sheepish, and quite old. "Talking about hiding under a bench was a step too far, wasn't it?"
"Yeah. By then you were just whining. You haven't stopped yet."
He frowned. "Can I stop, then?"
"Nothing's going to happen. River sent us sightseeing! Nothing is going to happen."
"Believe me, something is going to happen -"
She rolled her eyes and pulled him along, brandishing the folders. "Come on! Sights to see!"
"And when it happens," he continued, straining against her pull, "I won't know what's happening!"
"She used to make me dress up as him," said Rory. They had been walking for a rather long time, amongst architecture that looked very much influenced by 21th century, Earth. "Her mum thought we were silly."
River nodded, staring in a completely different direction.
"Of course, that was a regular tie and trainers... Still feels a bit weird, though, this."
"Would you like to talk about it, or..?"
"I really don't."
"Vague allusions it is, then."
"And now?"
"Now we find someone who's searching for the Doctor."
"Of course we do."
Outside a building which claimed to house the soap bubble farm, Amy poked the Doctor on the shoulder.
The Doctor, who was staring at a help-screen trying to deduce whether or not entrance was free for humans under thirty, said: "What?"
"I see a tiny invasion."
Part 4.
Rating: G
Characters/Pairings: Rory, River, Eleven, Amy (Rory/Amy, Rory + River, Amy + Eleven, Eleven/River)
Wordcount: ~1600
Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who.
Summary: Rory has to pretend to be the Doctor.
A/N: Part 1, in which there is some context and part 2, in which bowties are removed.
ETA: Thanks to promethia_tenk for her helpful crit on this and previous chapters. Much appreciated! :)
Rory intended to avoid River's gaze, which naturally led to him immediately catching it. "She's joking..."
River grinned. "Well, to be fair, you are imposing."
He cleared his throat in a not-at-all-awkward way.
"I actually voted for you as the person I'd like to wait out danger with," she said.
"Voted?"
"Oh, it was a hypothetical waiting, of course. A game, Amy's idea. Quite unofficial. Future lazy timeless moment in the TARDIS, you understand."
Rory pursed his lips. "The 's' word."
"Yes. Though I think it's safe to reveal you're also the only person the Doctor would consider growing savoury onions with."
"I'll remember that... Anything else?"
"I can say that Amy and I will have quite an interesting conversation," said River. And then she winked.
A decidedly-awkward warmth took over Rory's face, for some unfathomable reason. To his relief, a great piece of ceiling chose that moment to make a noise, fall down, and catch fire.
"Doctor," growled Amy. "You're tieless! Face it!"
The Doctor clutched at his collar. "There's a draught now. My throat is cold. That is a direct result of my tielessness."
"Mmm, and that pathetic noise you keep making... also a direct result or..?"
"Could be!"
The clouds above were undulating ceaselessly; the sky was all foggy pastels and a suggestion of sunlight. Amy and the Doctor ambled arm-in-arm in the colourful light, heading for what was unmistakably a shopping street. Amy was excited. The Doctor was not. (Indeed, he had been so perturbed he'd taken three steps on the planet surface until he’d realised he hadn't landed the TARDIS, which had made him quite cross, which had manifested itself in an intention to go back inside and lecture River on property and common decency, which had led to Amy intervening, which, in turn, led to the arm-in-arm situation.)
Amy used her free hand to extract the travel folders from her pocket. She thumbed through them. "Where do you want to go first? We've got singing houses, a soap bubble farm, a fairy lights museum…"
"Are those the places River approved?"
"Oh, you're still pouty." She scrunched her face up until her expression was one of faux-concern. "Get over it!"
"I noticed you - she - omitted Lisa's Confectionary and the birthplace of Oom Lamb. They're close, and far from any other sight." He smiled in a much too pleased way. "I've been here before."
"Maybe no one's interested in them anymore? They don't sound interesting."
"When they're popular forty years from now? I don't think so."
She scowled. "I'm going to have to thank River for omitting those."
"Hence, Pond... There's where Rory and River will be."
Rory hefted the (frankly rather small and unimposing) piece of limp fabric that would turn into a bowtie. A hint of noxious smoke was still lingering at the back of his throat, and he bit back a cough.
"Can you tie it?" asked River, who was replacing the fire-extinguisher under the staircase. (The TARDIS had helped them put out the fire and apologised for the interruption. Rory had promised himself he would clean one of her pistons or something as a thank you.)
"I think I'll manage." He unzipped his orange cardigan and threw it on the console seat. His own dark green shirt wouldn't match the bowtie, but at least it didn't have a weird pattern.
She approached him, brushing a great many unruly strands of hair out of her eyes. "I'm not sure the collar works with the tie, but it'll have to do."
He fumbled with the collar and the tie, but somehow it ended up the way it was supposed to be, and almost immediately. "And I'm wearing the Doctor’s bowtie."
"Yes, you are... and it's crooked." She reached toward it; tugged slightly at one loop, then the other. "We have to leave quite soon, are you ready?"
"I have to... impersonate him, haven't I?"
"If you like. It would certainly help if you at least tried."
"Can I have a few minutes to prepare?"
"Not minutes as such. You can have the time it takes to get yourself into the jacket."
"Right," he said, and shortly thereafter, "Right."
"Right," River supplied. Her fingers kept brushing his Adam’s apple and it was not entirely pleasant. It was not entirely unpleasant, either.
"Can't I... get into character?"
"Sweetheart, I hardly think another minute will make pretending to be a few millennia old alien any easier."
"Right. I'll settle for being quite, quite mad, then."
"Sounds about right."
"Any advice? Helpful hints?"
"Be keen, be bold, don’t stop to think." The corners of her mouth twitched upward, and he really did not want to know what she was thinking about. Thankfully, all she said was, "That'll do." She gave the tie another miniscule tug sideways and leaned back. "And that will do."
Rory considered the situation. Once in place, the tie hardly bothered him at all, actually.
"Next step," she said, and held out the tweed jacket.
With her help, he wriggled into it. He could have sworn it felt tight in a few places and that the sleeves were a bit off, but when he rolled his shoulders a moment later, nothing tugged at all; and when he looked down at the sleeves, they fit quite well.
While putting on her own jacket - a thin, blue, waist-length one - River explained it by saying, "The Doctor's clothes are a bit special," which wasn't much of an explanation at all, really.
The lining was quite nice, though, and the tweed smelled like the Doctor (or vice versa, it was oddly comforting nonetheless).
"Time's up," she said, and extended a hand. "Come along. Doctor."
Rory wiped a hand on his trousers - his own dark jeans, thankfully - and took her hand. They headed for the door, and he took a deep breath.
"You behave now!" River called out, and the TARDIS lights flickered in response.
On the other side of the door, Rory took another breath. The air was clear, chilly, and smelled distinctively of cucumber. He glanced up at the magnificent sky and straightened the jacket.
River produced a key from the breast pocket of her blouse and locked the TARDIS.
"You've got a key?"
"Several, darling," she said, replacing it and closing her jacket with an enormous clasp. "She likes variety. Shall we go?"
"We probably should."
"We'll head to the right. It's a bit of a walk."
The Doctor and Amy walked slowly along the shopping street, regularly bumping into shoppers wearing various garish clothes and various imaginative hairdos. Amy looked in the holographic windows; the Doctor looked at his shoes.
"I didn't even get to see what Rory looked like," he said.
She glanced at him. "Shouldn't that be my line?"
"I said it first."
"We'll see him later. I can talk him into keeping your clothes on for a while."
"Or we could see them now. Lots of corners here." He stopped, a gleam in his eye, and tried to free himself from Amy's grip by wriggling his arm a lot. "If River asks, I was very meek and stayed here all the time and did not follow her and I absolutely did not peer around corners."
Amy tightened her grip on his arm lazily. "We're staying. I like the sound of a soap bubble farm."
"We can be their backup. We can hide behind a rubbish container. Rory is clever, and River is clever, but what if they need... one of the Olden equations? Neither of them will know those because you need a brain like mine to even remember them and to apply them you need to -"
"I doubt it."
"Really? If it should happen, how would they manage, do you think?"
She shrugged. "Don't question the power of River's diary."
His face hardened. "You put entirely too much trust in River Song! Remember, future me was last seen in her company and now I'm wanted."
"She promised it wouldn't be dangerous."
"She could have lied! It's easy, you just open your mouth!"
"Ohhh, low points for the Mrs."
"No!"
Amy dropped her voice. "You worry too much."
The Doctor froze; then rubbed his forehead; then nudged his hat a little further back. He looked a tiny bit sheepish, and quite old. "Talking about hiding under a bench was a step too far, wasn't it?"
"Yeah. By then you were just whining. You haven't stopped yet."
He frowned. "Can I stop, then?"
"Nothing's going to happen. River sent us sightseeing! Nothing is going to happen."
"Believe me, something is going to happen -"
She rolled her eyes and pulled him along, brandishing the folders. "Come on! Sights to see!"
"And when it happens," he continued, straining against her pull, "I won't know what's happening!"
"She used to make me dress up as him," said Rory. They had been walking for a rather long time, amongst architecture that looked very much influenced by 21th century, Earth. "Her mum thought we were silly."
River nodded, staring in a completely different direction.
"Of course, that was a regular tie and trainers... Still feels a bit weird, though, this."
"Would you like to talk about it, or..?"
"I really don't."
"Vague allusions it is, then."
"And now?"
"Now we find someone who's searching for the Doctor."
"Of course we do."
Outside a building which claimed to house the soap bubble farm, Amy poked the Doctor on the shoulder.
The Doctor, who was staring at a help-screen trying to deduce whether or not entrance was free for humans under thirty, said: "What?"
"I see a tiny invasion."
Part 4.