Fic: Run and Hide

[honeylocusttree]

Run and Hide
Summary: A fill for a request some months back for MID/DID fic by katsuyakaiba69.
Warnings: ABUSE. Violence, blood, gore, disturbing imagery.

Note: This will not read like, or resemble, other MID/DID fics or fictionalized accounts. Please see additional notes at the end for an explanation.

This story is brought to you by our sponsors salty_catfish and hokuton_punch,

Comments

[maypoles]

I was going to save this for a few days from now when I had more time for reading, but it was youuu, and I couldn’t resist, and OH MY GOD SO GOOD.

This was crushing to read at times, but in the best possible way. The way I view John as a character is constantly in flux because so much was left open on the show with regards to him, and people have ficced him in so many different ways. And if something is well-written, like this, I see him in a completely different light than ever before. Which is AWESOME. I mean, I know this version of John is obviously not the John we had onscreen, but the idea that things could have gone in that direction - if John was not only damaged by what happened to him, but had a psychotic break - is all too believable.

I’ve read a few fics dealing with MID/DID in which the alters are basically static, and exist more as set pieces than as parts of a psyche. For this fic I wanted to explore the ways in which alters could actually exist as part of a system which evolved organically to help a psyche cope

[honeylocusttree]

OMG you have no idea how much I fought with this fic to keep it from turning into some ongoing silliness. For real. I kept trying to turn into a parody of itself.

I could go on and on about John, as I have a lot of opinions about him, but in short, I would say that while I consider him to be a good character, I don't think of him as a good person. (He's kind of a plot device, really, though he does at least evolve a bit and learn some before he kicks it, so there's that.) I guess in this case I also used him pretty much as a plot device, which is kind of a shame, but I also don't think it's completely outside the realm of possibility. John was pretty nutty to begin with, so it's kind of surprisingly easy to imagine him just flipping out and going stark raving bonkers if things had just gone ever-so-slightly-differently. Brrr

[hanyou_sensei]

Beautiful and powerful and sad. i feel so bad for Dean, who's suffering. But i think i feel worse for Sam, who can't escape. Sammy, who struggles to keep Dean calm and help Dean stay as sane as possible.

This is a wonderful departure from other MID stories. And it's an absolutely refreshing look at those around the victim, who have to deal with his suffering as well. It's beautiful and poignant. A great story.

[honeylocusttree]

Sam's situation is very complicated, and he is mentally probably as damaged as Dean, just in different ways. Although a lot of his story didn't make it in here, I was writing it from the perspective that this Sam never went, or even applied, to college, and if his brother hadn't given him the boot he probably would have never left. He's taking 'dangerously codependent' to a whole new level here.

I'm so glad this worked. Writing it this way was a risk, I think, because I couldn't really predict how people would react to it. Thank you so much for your kind words and awesome insights.

[nong_pradu]

This was brilliantly written and chilled me to the bone. And I really appreciate your minimalist approach to the subject, going with less instead of trying to spell out or over-explain (which I think would have ruined the effect).

Really amazing work here.

[honeylocusttree]

I always have a tough time remembering to explain stuff, but in this case I really wanted to avoid doing so deliberately (rather than just forgetting to do so through some lazy oversight on my part, which happens a lot. XD). Glad to hear it worked in this case and was not overly confusing.

So happy to hear this worked for you and was as unnerving as I meant it to be. Heh. Writing this was a real battle so it means a lot that it had the emotional impact I was going for. Thank you so much! Your words mean a lot.

[mymuseandi]

A wonderful, suspenseful story. And i love the way you switch from scene to scene, yet still retai the flow of the story as a whole. It keeps readers on their toes, and on edge, eager to read the next section. :)

[honeylocusttree]

(Your icon! Bwah!)

The writing process on this was a strange, complicated experience, and it means a lot to know that it makes some sort of sense and works not only as an exploration of the characters and issues, but as a narrative as well. Thank you!

[salty_catfish]

Ah, it's posted! \o/

[honeylocusttree]

I owe it all to you!

I made some changes since you last saw it, too. ;) I take this stuf seriously. Y'know, for fic.

<3

[salty_catfish]

♥ I think I'll wait a bit more until I read the final version. I'm pleased to see that the amount of guesswork left for your readership seems about right, judging from the comments.