My Grandma is in hospital
Damn, I'm a bad granddaughter. I really can't say how old she is right now. 91 or 92? I have no idea. (But that's the same with many people's age, I just never remember)
So yeah, my grandma used to have her own house and managed her household alone for the most part until, uhmmmm, mid 2007. Then my uncle had a hip surgery and he and his family decided that my grandma had to stay in an old people's home until he was fully recovered becaus my aunt and my cousin are both working full time and my family (she is my mom's mom) lives to far away to drive there two times a day.
So far so good. My grandma wasn't happy about being in the home and never really settled in. She understood that she had to be there but she always wanted to go home.
Over the weeks and months she got more and more 'lost'. Maybe you understand what I mean. She talked about people who weren't there. She seemed to be in a different time and couldn't orientate herself. She thought she was in her house and always wanted to lock the back door or cook lunch for someone. She knew who we were when we visited her and sometimes she was all herself and we could have a normal conversation. Other times she was all upset about things and wanted to leave her wheelchair, her room or the home. So it was diffcult and got worse (seemingly) every time.
Her physical condition, for someone with over 90 years, was good. Nothing really major. I think she took pills for her heart but I'm not sure. No diabetis that I know of. The thing that worried us (as in the family) was her walking. She always complained about pain in her knees (arthrosis, I think) and had difficulties getting up from her bed or from a chair. When whe walked, with a walking stick and later on with a walking frame, she was almost bended 90 degrees at her hips. She fell a few times when she was still at her house. Two years ago she fell and hurt her wrist badly. My uncle, who alwyas claims to know best, said that a loose bandage would be enough. Well, apparently the wrist was partially fractured. It might have healed if there had been a tight bandage but those loose loops didn't help. Three weeks after she fell she had to get up from somewhere and used a handle. A wrong turn with her wrist or a bit to much force and the wrist finally snapped. Great! My oh-so-godlike uncle was wrong and my grandma had to wear a cast. That was only one episode of the 'grandma fell' series. She once had bruises all over her face. Somehow my uncle and his family managed that my grandma's doc thought everything ok. I think if he knew one or two more things he would have demanded for my grandma to live in an old people's home long ago so there would be staff to watch over my grandma.
Back to now. My mom got a call today, from my uncle. He only blurped the message 'grandma fell, broke her hip, is in hospital now and surgery will take place tomorrow' and hung up. Yes the relations between my mom (i.e. our family) and my uncle (and his family) are more than icy. Somehow my mom and her sister never got along well. My uncle (it ain't even his mom!) acts like he is godlike. He knows everything better. He is an arrogant ass. He was a paramedic when he did his military service, which is about a million years ago, and therefore he is the better doc than every other real doc. I surely won't belittle that he and his family cared for my grandma all the time. They live in the same town after all. But, what the hell, it is his wife's mom and therefore I think they somehow have the responsibillity there. My mom (and we) cared for my other grandma as long as she lived in our house. And god knows that she sometimes was the devil and did many evil things to my mom. But when she needed help my mom helped her. What gives my uncle the right to be so rude on the phone. It is my mom's mom and she sounded so upset when she told me about it. Yes, the relations are bad and probably will never be good in this live, but why throwing out such important news and not take time to answer questions for a few minutes. My mom doesn't even know when my grandma fell or where it happened.
Well, all anger about the situation wont help my grandma now.
All I know is that she is in hospital for the first time in her life and that she'll have her first surgery with over 90 years. And I believe that a hip surgery ain't something you'll laugh about. I really hope that she is in a phase where she doesn't know what is happening around her. Of course she will be scared but maybe it is a different kind of scared that really knowing what is going to happen.
I believe that she, if she'll recover from the surgery, wont ever leave her bed again. She was a nursing case before and no one of our family believed that she would go home to her own house as she always said. Now it is more than sure that she won't leave the old people's home. If she'll ever leave the hospital.
I somehow hope that, if she has to die from any complications of the surgery, it'll be soon. I don't want to miss her, because she is the grandma I always loved best. The one who was the grandma that everyone would wish for. The one that made the best cakes and new years wafers. The one we had a nickname for. The one that always put everyone else first and herself last.
As much as I don't want to miss her I don't want her to suffer or live the rest of her live in pain.
Good luck Oma Detten, I'll be thinking of you all day tomorrow.
So yeah, my grandma used to have her own house and managed her household alone for the most part until, uhmmmm, mid 2007. Then my uncle had a hip surgery and he and his family decided that my grandma had to stay in an old people's home until he was fully recovered becaus my aunt and my cousin are both working full time and my family (she is my mom's mom) lives to far away to drive there two times a day.
So far so good. My grandma wasn't happy about being in the home and never really settled in. She understood that she had to be there but she always wanted to go home.
Over the weeks and months she got more and more 'lost'. Maybe you understand what I mean. She talked about people who weren't there. She seemed to be in a different time and couldn't orientate herself. She thought she was in her house and always wanted to lock the back door or cook lunch for someone. She knew who we were when we visited her and sometimes she was all herself and we could have a normal conversation. Other times she was all upset about things and wanted to leave her wheelchair, her room or the home. So it was diffcult and got worse (seemingly) every time.
Her physical condition, for someone with over 90 years, was good. Nothing really major. I think she took pills for her heart but I'm not sure. No diabetis that I know of. The thing that worried us (as in the family) was her walking. She always complained about pain in her knees (arthrosis, I think) and had difficulties getting up from her bed or from a chair. When whe walked, with a walking stick and later on with a walking frame, she was almost bended 90 degrees at her hips. She fell a few times when she was still at her house. Two years ago she fell and hurt her wrist badly. My uncle, who alwyas claims to know best, said that a loose bandage would be enough. Well, apparently the wrist was partially fractured. It might have healed if there had been a tight bandage but those loose loops didn't help. Three weeks after she fell she had to get up from somewhere and used a handle. A wrong turn with her wrist or a bit to much force and the wrist finally snapped. Great! My oh-so-godlike uncle was wrong and my grandma had to wear a cast. That was only one episode of the 'grandma fell' series. She once had bruises all over her face. Somehow my uncle and his family managed that my grandma's doc thought everything ok. I think if he knew one or two more things he would have demanded for my grandma to live in an old people's home long ago so there would be staff to watch over my grandma.
Back to now. My mom got a call today, from my uncle. He only blurped the message 'grandma fell, broke her hip, is in hospital now and surgery will take place tomorrow' and hung up. Yes the relations between my mom (i.e. our family) and my uncle (and his family) are more than icy. Somehow my mom and her sister never got along well. My uncle (it ain't even his mom!) acts like he is godlike. He knows everything better. He is an arrogant ass. He was a paramedic when he did his military service, which is about a million years ago, and therefore he is the better doc than every other real doc. I surely won't belittle that he and his family cared for my grandma all the time. They live in the same town after all. But, what the hell, it is his wife's mom and therefore I think they somehow have the responsibillity there. My mom (and we) cared for my other grandma as long as she lived in our house. And god knows that she sometimes was the devil and did many evil things to my mom. But when she needed help my mom helped her. What gives my uncle the right to be so rude on the phone. It is my mom's mom and she sounded so upset when she told me about it. Yes, the relations are bad and probably will never be good in this live, but why throwing out such important news and not take time to answer questions for a few minutes. My mom doesn't even know when my grandma fell or where it happened.
Well, all anger about the situation wont help my grandma now.
All I know is that she is in hospital for the first time in her life and that she'll have her first surgery with over 90 years. And I believe that a hip surgery ain't something you'll laugh about. I really hope that she is in a phase where she doesn't know what is happening around her. Of course she will be scared but maybe it is a different kind of scared that really knowing what is going to happen.
I believe that she, if she'll recover from the surgery, wont ever leave her bed again. She was a nursing case before and no one of our family believed that she would go home to her own house as she always said. Now it is more than sure that she won't leave the old people's home. If she'll ever leave the hospital.
I somehow hope that, if she has to die from any complications of the surgery, it'll be soon. I don't want to miss her, because she is the grandma I always loved best. The one who was the grandma that everyone would wish for. The one that made the best cakes and new years wafers. The one we had a nickname for. The one that always put everyone else first and herself last.
As much as I don't want to miss her I don't want her to suffer or live the rest of her live in pain.
Good luck Oma Detten, I'll be thinking of you all day tomorrow.