(no subject)
i hate confusion.
and this summer has been full of it.
i like steadyness.
i love....love.
and i miss it quite alot.
its so hard for me now.
i thought id like to have "fun".
but i dont.
i enjoy the same person
the same thing
the same feelings
on a regular basis.
its nice 2 be free for a little
but i despise lonelyness.
and right now,
i do not have anyone.
the only person in the world i tlk 2 is away.
all others who i used 2 tlk 2 are gone...
for the most part.
....thats what happens wen they have boys
....i guess?
its just so very difficult.
i dont do good by myself.
and i have to face all my problems inside myself.
without talking it out.
and its ripping me apart.
alot.
im sry for such negativity,
but its hard 2 be anything but.
atleast when im in this situation.
i wish everything could go back 2 normal.
like the old days.
with my freinds,
boys,
everything.
i cant even try to express how much i miss it.
but thats life.
and im dealing with it,
just...not in the best way =[.
so many mixed feelings.
so many ups and downs.
so much confusion.
too much lonelyness.