(no subject)
Today, I received my first D grade (a 51% actually). Today, I checked law school admission gpa's at UBC and UT. Today, I realized, I'm pretty much screwed (not only because of the D grade, but because of all my other grades). Today, I really felt like I was entirely hopeless because there was no way I was going to get a 86% average (or higher for UT) in both my third and fourth years. Today, I realized that even if I said things like "I'm going to do my best! I'll study non-stop" or the like, it won't actually happen. Because in reality, even if I want to try, I feel like I've already given up and these words and these spur of the moment emotions of motivation are just a front for a person who has already given up on trying. I feel like, I won't be able to succeed. But most importantly, I feel my future crumbling into something even more uncertain than it was before.