(no subject)
Well. I never expected to update a day after my first in months, but something on the drive home was so amazingly wonderful, that I must...
Driving home at 11.30 PM, I figure it's quite reasonable to go 50 when the speed limit is 45, yes? Well, apparently, some ass behind me didn't think so, tailgaiting me so closely that were it not so dark, I would have been able to see whether he shaved or not through my rear view mirror. Somewhat disconcerted, I tap the brakes, lighting the brake lights without really slowing down or anything. Not trying to make him rear end me, mind you, but warn him to back off, since it's dark and he wouldn't have a chance in hell should I have to stop short.
Well, sane people would take the hint. He doesn't. He immediately tries to pass me via the turning lane, and almost winds up running into the oncoming raised median. Swerving back behind me, he vacillates backwards and forwards in obvious frustration, constipation, aggravation, whatever. As soon as the median ends, he tries again, almost running into another shoulder.
By this point, we have reached my neighborhood and I turn in, glad to be rid of the impatient jackass, when he follows me in, pulls up along side me, making use of the lane meant for oncoming traffic, rolls down the passenger window, and commences a torrent of obscenities which were inaudible over my radio and through my closed window.
Unwilling to lead this asshole to my house, I stop the car and roll down the window, about to ask him what was the matter. Before I can say anything, he screams "I just wanted to let y'all know that while y'all were fuckin' with me back there," raising several rumpled papers, "today was the day that I was committed to an institution for a nervous breakdown, assholes!"
Biting back the impulsive "congratulations!" I sort of raise my eyebrow and am about to ask him what in the hell he could be meaning, when he shifts into reverse, and peals out of the 30 feet we have driven in my subdivision with squealing tires and lots of acrid smoke.
In retrospect, I really wish I had gone with my reflexive comment, which no doubt would have incensed him to the point where he would have gotten out of the car. Hell, the way he was I could see the veins in his forehead. But still, that would be fine with me. I could take a malnourished little white bugger who looks about 40 years old and like a tax accountant. Hell, the exercise could do me good....the bastard.
Night driving is so wonderful, with the relaxed traffic laws and empty roadways. It always seems to soothe me and bring the best Jacksonville has to offer. I'm loving where it's taking me. Now I am getting the cream of the crop of overworked, overstressed, suicidal loons with a penchant for self-pity and spreading around their misery. I might go for another drive before the night is over.