(no subject)
First off let me say how life likes to throw us curveballs just to see how we will react. I think I over think about a lot of things, but definately just about the small stupid things in life. Normally it gets me in trouble because I end up frustrating others and not only do I frustrate others but I frustrate myself. My anger is something that I have sometimes have trouble controlling especially lately because I have been frustrated and its all because I have over thought what is going on and get frustrated. The sad thing I have no clue what is going on and right now am tired of playing mind games. I can't tell if she still feels the same or not. When we are suppose to hang out she ends up hanging out with her other friends, but when we have no plans then she will call. Today I called and the guy that I swear she likes answered the phone cause he was playing with her phone, but she says she has no feelings for him and right now I am not sure to believe her or not. Sure that brings the trust issue in and again why should I care because we are not together but when we hang out we act like we are together and she tells me she feels the same but I just can't tell anymore. I want to walk away cause I can't play these mind games anymore and I can't seem to ever get the answer out of her of what she really wants to say. My feelings for her are strong and a lot stronger then I would have ever thought and that is why I can't just walk away so easy. I wish I could go back and be my 8th grade self and be able to walk away from relationship to relationship with only leaving a dust cloud behind but I can't anymore. I wish I knew what to do. The answer is not coming fast enough.