My evil nasty part that hides....
Inside of me is an evil nasty part that comes out and makes me hurt myself. Not anything deliberate, just things like bumping my funny bone, whacking my leg on the bed frame, touching something I know is hot. It's like for a second all rational thinking stops and I watch me do this. That's how I know that its a part of me and not just an accident. I see it coming. And then everything is "OK" because I've been "punished".
I know that its just a part of me that is scared of happiness and good things. I recognize the fear that if everything is too wonderful, then someone or something must die. I know that I'm doing it to prevent my world from crashing down around me. Problem is, it isn't going to. Nothing bad is going to happen just because I am happy.
I wonder what it will take to believe this. Time I guess....*insert patience here*
*sigh*
I know that its just a part of me that is scared of happiness and good things. I recognize the fear that if everything is too wonderful, then someone or something must die. I know that I'm doing it to prevent my world from crashing down around me. Problem is, it isn't going to. Nothing bad is going to happen just because I am happy.
I wonder what it will take to believe this. Time I guess....*insert patience here*
*sigh*