college is hard
aih.. i feel really bad right now... prolly never felt so stupid EVER in my life..
i shouldn't have even got into cmu... it just made me realize how dumb i am...
after 2 weeks.. i had to drop 2 classes... i'm only a freshmen... sad... i guess its my own fault.. should have paid more attention in senior class.. why did i play so much..? dunno.. i guess i was just tired of high school.. wanted to have more fun.. but not in college.. i can't affrod to let my grades drop.. cuz i have an obligation to myself. to my parents to do well in college.. aih.. i dunno waht to say.. i guess i'm just really disappointed in myself.. all these years.. and here i am.. i finally realize the extent of my abilities.. and its really not quite far... so all that belief that i was actually smart is just a puff of smoke.. gone now...
i feel really childish for having wanted to go to college so badly.. not realizing how difficult it was.. word of advice for anyone.. work hard in high school... u will need it...
i realize there is just too much in me that needs changing.. i will never be good enough..
realizing this so late.. is just saddening... nothing else...
the above was all a ramble of stuff in my mind...
well now i will go out to walk alone..
late
i shouldn't have even got into cmu... it just made me realize how dumb i am...
after 2 weeks.. i had to drop 2 classes... i'm only a freshmen... sad... i guess its my own fault.. should have paid more attention in senior class.. why did i play so much..? dunno.. i guess i was just tired of high school.. wanted to have more fun.. but not in college.. i can't affrod to let my grades drop.. cuz i have an obligation to myself. to my parents to do well in college.. aih.. i dunno waht to say.. i guess i'm just really disappointed in myself.. all these years.. and here i am.. i finally realize the extent of my abilities.. and its really not quite far... so all that belief that i was actually smart is just a puff of smoke.. gone now...
i feel really childish for having wanted to go to college so badly.. not realizing how difficult it was.. word of advice for anyone.. work hard in high school... u will need it...
i realize there is just too much in me that needs changing.. i will never be good enough..
realizing this so late.. is just saddening... nothing else...
the above was all a ramble of stuff in my mind...
well now i will go out to walk alone..
late