(no subject)
I'm so depressed. Nothing is going right, everything seems to be going wrong. I am going so wrong, so wrong.
I wonder if I argue too much. Is it possible that years of trying to prepare for battle has taken a nasty turn and formed me into a rude, litte girl instead of a monster.
I stare at the screen and everything shifted.
John says he loves me but that i disagree too much and tell him he's wrong ALL the time. So this means my 'jokes' and flippant attitude are not being very well received. But I'm the one who feels is ALWAYS WRONG! ALWAYS!
He tells me all the time I'm wrong and it's my fault. If i fight him and tell him I'm not wrong he says i'm hurting him, but if I don't say anything and says it's my fault, if i just sit there and take the worst kind of verbal abuse, wanting it to end so badly, then I'm wrong.
What the hell is so wrong with faults anyway!?
I feel heavy from all the frills, the flaws, and the faults. So tired and sad from them all.
The funniest part is that i do allow most of these f's to flow in freely, through him. Not from within me. My power comes from within and these f's seem to pierce my armor.
I've never been without my armor, though i wonder if i need the old armor anymore.
I have him to protect me, so maybe if i can take off the armor, i will be weightless, light, and lovable.
Though, it is on tight.
-h
I wonder if I argue too much. Is it possible that years of trying to prepare for battle has taken a nasty turn and formed me into a rude, litte girl instead of a monster.
I stare at the screen and everything shifted.
John says he loves me but that i disagree too much and tell him he's wrong ALL the time. So this means my 'jokes' and flippant attitude are not being very well received. But I'm the one who feels is ALWAYS WRONG! ALWAYS!
He tells me all the time I'm wrong and it's my fault. If i fight him and tell him I'm not wrong he says i'm hurting him, but if I don't say anything and says it's my fault, if i just sit there and take the worst kind of verbal abuse, wanting it to end so badly, then I'm wrong.
What the hell is so wrong with faults anyway!?
I feel heavy from all the frills, the flaws, and the faults. So tired and sad from them all.
The funniest part is that i do allow most of these f's to flow in freely, through him. Not from within me. My power comes from within and these f's seem to pierce my armor.
I've never been without my armor, though i wonder if i need the old armor anymore.
I have him to protect me, so maybe if i can take off the armor, i will be weightless, light, and lovable.
Though, it is on tight.
-h