(no subject)
Im in one of those moods, where nothing seems appealing. Nothing I can think of to do sounds like any fun. Its 4 in the morning, and i dont want to go to sleep. I just get that feeling like i cant go to sleep because my day feels incomplete. Like theres something im forgetting, something i need to do to get some satisfaction, but I dont know what it is. The more i think about it, the more i think that alot of my days are like that, really.
I hate being so ambitious and so lazy at the same time. All it does it make me feel aggravated...unsure...incomplete. I hate being such a contradiction about everything. I hate that on the rare occasion that I think I know what i want in life, Im too afraid to just take it. I hate that Im so well-spoken but I never talk.
I need a new mindset. I feel like Ive been in a daze for longer than I can remember, waiting for something or someone to snap me out of it. I think im getting closer to getting myself straight in my own head, but Im not there yet. For a while i thought i needed to smoke less pot. Well, ive hardly smoked at all recently, and im sure as hell not any less confused about anything, or any more productive, so there goes that theory. Yeah, theres something else missing. Ill get back to you when i figure out what it is.
Things will be better once school gets out. These last weeks are a long uphill climb. I dont have time to do anything. I really should have been getting some homework done this weekend, but its nice to have some interaction with other human beings once in a while. Starting tomorrow im gonna have to spend every spare minute doing schoolwork though. Ok time for bed, cuz id like to make a habit of stopping my entries before they turn from purposeful thinking out loud to pointless bitching.
I hate being so ambitious and so lazy at the same time. All it does it make me feel aggravated...unsure...incomplete. I hate being such a contradiction about everything. I hate that on the rare occasion that I think I know what i want in life, Im too afraid to just take it. I hate that Im so well-spoken but I never talk.
I need a new mindset. I feel like Ive been in a daze for longer than I can remember, waiting for something or someone to snap me out of it. I think im getting closer to getting myself straight in my own head, but Im not there yet. For a while i thought i needed to smoke less pot. Well, ive hardly smoked at all recently, and im sure as hell not any less confused about anything, or any more productive, so there goes that theory. Yeah, theres something else missing. Ill get back to you when i figure out what it is.
Things will be better once school gets out. These last weeks are a long uphill climb. I dont have time to do anything. I really should have been getting some homework done this weekend, but its nice to have some interaction with other human beings once in a while. Starting tomorrow im gonna have to spend every spare minute doing schoolwork though. Ok time for bed, cuz id like to make a habit of stopping my entries before they turn from purposeful thinking out loud to pointless bitching.